I miss my family

[Lois Lane]

As you know I've had a bit of a trying week to put it mildly. I hate being here and my house doesn't feel like my own. I have nowhere else local to go and get some respite. My family live 5 hours away and have said that if things are too much I can go and stay. It was a joke offer to start with but I've been thinking hard about it. I spoke to mum and sis on the phone today and I've not stopped crying since. I miss them. We have our differences but they are supportive and there if I need them. My mum never criticises what I do with Paige, even if she thinks I'm doing the wrong thing, she knows that I'm her mum and decisions are up to me. This is totally different from my inlaws who feel the need to butt in at every opportunity,and make me feel totally inadequate.

I'm really torn. If I go to stay with them it means leaving DH here with his folks as he can't get the time off and taking Paige with me and there is an element of me feeling that I shouldn't be pushed out of my own home. But really I'm totally miserable:-( I'm in my room by 8.30pm most nights and cry a LOT. Things can't carry on this way but I don't feel I can throw the outlaws out. I don't remember though the last time I cried this much.

Is it fair on DH to leave him to it???

Lois xx

[Swingo]

I would be tempted to go for a while Lois. They are peeing you off too much to question it.

They might even improve while you are away?... :scratchchin:

[Mrs Cheeso]

I'd definitely go even if it's just for a few days & you never know, your in-laws might actually question why you've gone away & rethink their behaviour! Besides, they are *his* parents and however hard it is for him it's bound to be more difficult for you as (personally) I would feel far more able to speak my mind with my own parents than my in-laws.
:hug:
MrsCx

[Elektra]

You are obviously really unhappy atm, and your inlaws are your husbands family so he should be able to cope with them. Go and visit your family, rest and relax. No one should feel like a prisoner in their own home, and you won't be "failing" if you do what's best for you and your daughter, which is to have a happy not crying mummy...

[Mrs Bunny]

I'd say go for it. I think I would.
I'm sure your DH can cope on his own with them for a while. They're his folks at the end of the day.
As you say it is making you miserable and unsettling for Paige. I think a few days with your folks to recharge, get someone to look after you for a change.
Your DH is a big boy and will be fine.
I'm always going away to my parents without DH. Good for us all I think.
Take care Lois. I hope things improve soon.
Mrs B

[Shoppie]

I would definitely go for at least a short while if things have got as bad as this sounds. No-one shuold be crying in their room most nights :no:

I'm sorry if I'm repeating stuff that you've said in previous threads, but have you tried to talk to them about it, or even better get DH to do so? From what you say I take it they are living in your home atm, and if so it shoudl be your hosue, your rules. No amtter what, no-one has the right to make you feel bad :higgies:

[Abbie]

I say go for a few days too.

I know you shouldn't have to but staying put is only going to make you even more unhappy and a break away would definately make things easier.

You have my sympathies - in laws suck!

[parkejm]

I would go, love. You need some time to relax and be you again and if you can get that with your family then that's what you need to do. You never know they might actually realise how much you do while you're gone. Either way, you need to look after yourself first.


janice

[Hungry Hippo]

Like everyone else has said, I think that you should go and stay with your family for a bit. I think the break from the outlaws would do you the power of good. I don't know how you've managed tbh, I certainly couldn't live under the same roof as my in laws for longer than a weekend.
HH xx

[Lois Lane]

Thanks guys - I need to sit down with DH tonight and seriously discuss it. This week has really tested our marriage and I'm wondering whether, if I leave him for a few days to go to mums if that's not testing it some more?

[Lilybett]

I think it's a good idea. And I certainly don't think that you going will test your marriage even more, at the end of the day I know Superman wants you to be happy and if a few days with your family does that then I'm sure he'll give you his blessing.

I also think that whilst you are away that he needs to take the opportunity to sit down with the outlaws and maybe gently explain to them that they need to cut you a bit more slack, at the end of the day they are guests in your home and they need to learn to keep their mouths shut if they are to remain guests.

[Swingo]

Thanks guys - I need to sit down with DH tonight and seriously discuss it. This week has really tested our marriage and I'm wondering whether, if I leave him for a few days to go to mums if that's not testing it some more?

But you are entitled to see your family. It's not as if you both haven't seen his recently...

[Pancake01]

I think if you have a really honest chat with your DH and tell him how you are feeling, he will be fine with your reasons to go. Ask him how he feels too - he might be dying to escape as well. Could he come with you for a weekend? If you do go, I'm sure your inlaws might get the message and think about their behaviour. If they are really thick skinned, your DH might have to tell them that you have been driven out of your own home by their rudeness, ingratitude and interfering.

I'm sorry you are crying lots, you must be knackered too.

[guinness]

it sounds like you need some serious time out - for them to make you feel this bad is awful, but wen you take the pg into account too it's bloody cr@p.
it sounds like a few days with your own family would do you the world of good - where do they live?

[Cherrypie]

I think some time away from the outlaws would be great idea. You've got really worked up with them staying with you, and their appalling manners and lack of consideration. Some chill out time with your mum is a great idea. xx

[DKNI]

Honey you are pregnant and leaving with the in laws in YOUR house but in my humble opinion they are not being good or gracious house guests.

It might test your relationship more if you end up flipping your lid and setting his parents on the street.

Just go to your parents for a little while saying that you need to be looked after for a while as the house is too crowded and your are PREGNANT and NEED SOME REST.

Take care and do what is best for you

A

[shamu]

I think you need to get some space and returning to your family is the best way to go about it. Something about pregnancy always makes me want to return to my mummy....
I would imagine you being away wouldn't test your marriage any more than another week of having to cope with the stress you're currently under. I know I went potty staying at my outlaws for a week last year so you are a saint having them to stay with you...
Shamu
:wink:

[Cherrylips]

From what Iv read Lois, I think you NEED time away from the Inlaws. You have a solid marriage so Im sure this would not test your marriage or relationship with hubby, surley he understands.

Going to your room early every night and crying clearly isnt good. Get away and get yourself sorted hon. You need to, and Im sure you already know that.

Love lots xx