Bedtime problems & coming in to our bed

[shining star]

Since Dylan started Montessori last week, he's been a bit unsettled and my usual great sleeper has turned in to a nightmare :zombie:

He's really, really difficult at bedtime, and keeps shouting out to go to the toilet, that he doesn't feel well, and that he's sad :sigh: (he always says he is sad when he's tired, my heart breaks to hear it)

Now usually I would leave him in his room, and let him cry it out, because I know there's nothing wrong with him. Our door handles are really high up, but he's just grown enough to reach them in the last few weeks and so he keeps coming out of his room, and for the last few nights, he is getting in to our bed in the middle of the night. He takes up the whole bloody bed, and always gets in my side so I end up squashed and getting no sleep.

Should we put a stair gate across his door? It feels a bit like regression to do that, but tbh we can't go on like this. I know it's because he's going through a big change with montessori, but if we don't put a stop to it now, I'm worried the getting in to our bed will continue even after he settles down.

help!

[sparkliness]

We are having this too, and TBH I'm just trying to ride it out. I'm hoping after a week or so she'll settle down.

Normally I'm strict too, but I think she just needs it ATM.

Hope it doesn't last too long for you.

[spritzer]

Xander is also getting up in the night and saying he wants to sleep with me/us so it may be a development thing (although Mr S is away all week atm and I've gone back to work so it may be circumstantial:scratchchin: )

What I do is let him get into our bed and watch TV with me while I feed Zach - he loves Superman now:oops: :teehee: Put Zach to bed and then take him to his room and tuck him in with lots of cuddles.

If he wakes up and comes through to me I take him straight back to bed really gently telling him it's still night time, tuck him in and cuddle him until he's settled (not actually asleep) It does mean sprawling on the floor buck nekkid at 5am:oops: :lol: but it's better than him thinking he can sleep with us. When he wakes up properly he's allowed in to our bed for cuddles/books/TV etc.

HTH it's hell, isn't it?:higgies:

[Princess Fiona]

We've had this for months :sigh: and its really grating on me but there is nothing i can do about it because DH won't let me close her door or put a gate across it :sigh: he suddently thinks its cruel :loco: which is mad because she's been in her own room, in the pitch black with the door closed shut since she was 8 months old and we never had any problems so feck knows where he's suddenly got this from :doh:

She gets up out of her bed about 20 times before she goes to sleep, we have the stalling tactics of her asking for the toilet, asking for a drink, saying she's tired and crying, asking for a story, or she'll start asking questions about Nanny and Grandad :rolleyes:

Then once we're in bed she gets up about 5-10 times a night and comes in with us, sometimes tbh she doesn't wake me but i'm not sleeping well at all atm, am very uncomfortable most of the night and so i'm having to keep getting her up and putting her back to bed, sometimes she's ok sometimes she'll put up a bit of a fight and DH really doesn't help by shouting out "oh just let her come in with us" :hissyfit::angry:

I just don't know what to do anymore its really getting me down, and i'm SO tired.

[goobah]

There are also door handle covers (if it's a round knob) that you need to squeeze to actually turn it, iykwim. They are handy when they can open the door, but you don't want them, too. I'm not sure what they are actually called or where to get them, but I'm sure they are fairly inexpensive. We used to have them when my older ones were little. Here's a pic I found of one online:
http://z.about.com/d/pediatrics/1/0/8/2/doorknob_cover.jpg (http://pediatrics.about.com/od/safety/ss/childproofing_2.htm)

[DKNI]

oh I do feel your pain as I had this for about a year with Dylan and its only been the last 2 months that I have the bed to myself again.

Do you think he might be having nightmares SS?

It maybe that his day has been so busy he can't switch off properly. Could you put him to bed a lttle later to see if it helps and then slowly go back to the old time again?

Does he still have a bedtime routine?

Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out soon

[shining star]

thanks for your replies everyone :smile:

goobah unfortunately the handle on his door isn't round :teehee:

Andie I don't think he is having nightmares, he's just being very manipulative. He stops crying for a while so we think he's gone asleep and then when we leave the door he pounces and comes out again.

He hasn't had an actual bedtime routine as such for a long time, he gets stories at bedtime and that's it. He knows full well it's time for bed, and he is tired, but as I said, he's just being manipulative because he doesn't want to go to bed :meh:


If he wakes up and comes through to me I take him straight back to bed really gently telling him it's still night time, tuck him in and cuddle him until he's settled (not actually asleep) It does mean sprawling on the floor buck nekkid at 5am:oops: :laff: but it's better than him thinking he can sleep with us. When he wakes up properly he's allowed in to our bed for cuddles/books/TV etc.

We've tried this too, but as soon as you move away from his bed, the hysterics start again. He just wants us to stay there. Up until now, it's always been that he was allowed in to our bed in the mornings when it's actually nearly time to get up!

I think we'll try the stair gate tonight and see how it goes :fingerscrossed:

[Seagull&Snoopy]

Can you move your handle up higher? (sorry if that seems silly but I noticed that in the B&T group in my GO surgery the handles were on the top of the door)

:higgies: Good luck SS

[sparkliness]

Hope things are going better for everyone.

Update on Sparkliness towers: last night I ended up using ye olde holding the door shut method :oops: but she gave up very little fight and didn't try to get out and sounded asleep after about 3 minutes. She didn't come through to us until 6am :ellie:

Just now she asked me if she could have a stairgate on her room (which I threatened last night) :lol: I think this may be to do with keeping Daisy out though :nod:

Anyway, hope everyone else is having success, and I'm hoping we have finally broken the cycle.

[*Betty Mae*]

If it continues for a few months would you consider that he really might not be enjoying school and might be worrying about it at night?

[shining star]

We had a good night lastnight too :thumb:

I mentioned to him yesterday afternoon that Daddy was going to put the stair gate at his door. So when DH came home, Dylan immediately asked him to go up to the attic and get the gate :lol: So he got it and put it up at the door and Dylan was delighted with it, he keeps saying it's 'lovely' :lurve:

But he did freak out when DH was leaving his room after reading a story, and stood at the gate for a while, crying and saying he wanted to come downstairs. But then he
brought his pillow over to the door and lay down and went to sleep there :doh: I moved him in to the bed once he was fully asleep. And then during the night, he didn't even try and come out of his room, didn't get up until 7.30am this morning :grin:

I'm sure it will only take a couple of nights and he will give up with trying to come out of the room.



If it continues for a few months would you consider that he really might not be enjoying school and might be worrying about it at night?

I was worried about that so I'm definitely keeping it in mind. But he goes to montessori in the same place where he went to creche....the only change really is that he's in a different room with some different teachers (but also some of the same carers he had before). He's quite sensitive and has always taken a while to settle any time there's change. He cries going in there in the mornings, but once I've left the room I can hear him stop very quickly and his teachers have said that he's getting on so well and is really settling down now this week. He says he likes it and talks about it happily so I hope that is the case :sigh:

[BJMac]

If he seems happy there SS, I am sure it must just be a phase :nod: . We keep having a night time intruder too :yeahright: - she stands at the side of my bed and says in a very loud stage whisper "mummy, I need a WEE" :zombie: .

Am thinking of getting a bunny clock for Dixie :scratchchin: .

(Completely off topic, but I used your cupcake recipe last week and OH MY GOD - amazing and moist!! They are in my avatar, can you see them? So thank you for posting the link :thumb: ).

[shining star]

(Completely off topic, but I used your cupcake recipe last week and OH MY GOD - amazing and moist!! They are in my avatar, can you see them? So thank you for posting the link :thumb: ).

I noticed them earlier in your avatar :lol: They're good, aren't they?! I made a big batch this morning, an order for a friend of a friend.....will post pics in Food & Drink :smile:

ss
xx

[sersha]

Our bunny clock thing has worn off and she always comes into bed with us at about 4am - I didn't mind 6 so much, but 4 is pushing it. I have just been letting her (DH moves out to spare room) but really I need to get tough and send her back to bed until proper morning.

I am so tired at 4am I just want to go back to sleep though :oops: so I very easily manipulated!