Do you think we worry too much about what other people think of our parenting/kids?

[Franny]

I've noticed a theme lately (and include myself in this).

Maybe we should have a campaign or something not to give a feck - unless, of course, we're really neglecting our children.

[*Fallen Angel*]

Joe Public seems to think that if you have a child with you it gives them licence to pass comment.

You would go up to a thin person in the supermarket and tell them to eat fatty foods so I don't see why it gives anyone licence to comment on your parenting skills.

It makes me GRRR!

[Opprobrium]

I don't care what others think, I just don't see why they feel the need to comment in the first place. Unless I am actually endangering her or mistreating her then no one has a right to comment. I ignore it anyway now. Couldn't give a toss.

[Opprobrium]

You would go up to a thin person in the supermarket and tell them to eat fatty foods so I don't see why it gives anyone licence to comment on your parenting skills.

Oh yes people do! I think the world just thinks it's entitled to an opinion & to express it whenever & wherever they see fit. Most of the time though it's not their place.

[Abbie]

I do try not to let comments bother me - I know my kids are happy, healthy and have got to the ages they are now without serious injury or illness


You would go up to a thin person in the supermarket and tell them to eat fatty foods so I don't see why it gives anyone licence to comment on your parenting skills

Actually, I have had that comment in a supermarket. I was told so stop buying rabbit food and try a bit of stodge and put some meat on my bones.

[Adelelee]

I don't care what others think, I just don't see why they feel the need to comment in the first place. Unless I am actually endangering her or mistreating her then no one has a right to comment. I ignore it anyway now. Couldn't give a toss.

Totally WSS!!

[shining star]

I've noticed here recently that there's a lot of judging of what other parents are doing, based on isolated incidents that people have witnessed. And there again, a lot of people seem to be being judged by complete strangers. I don't think it's my business to judge anyone else, and for anyone else to judge me. TBH I don't really care what anyone else thinks of how I do things, I do it my way and it works for us :shrug:

ss
xx

[*Fallen Angel*]

Oh yes people do! I think the world just thinks it's entitled to an opinion & to express it whenever & wherever they see fit. Most of the time though it's not their place.

OK, maybe I was just trying to illustrate what I wouldn't do. I'm shocked that you and Abbie have had comments like that but maybe I live in a sheltered world :shrug:

[Sazzle]

I do, definitely :nod: I think I m quite underconfident in myself as a mother :oops: I was rambling on to the Manc night out girls about it, if someone on here says they do something differently to me, I automatically think my way is "wrong" rather than just thinking "oh, that's a different way of doing it" :oops:

An example from today actually, I took Jasmine for a settling in session at nursery, and the worker lady (what are they called? :puzzled: ) was asking if Jasmine was okay to stay for lunch and have what they were having, and I had to fill in a form with a section entitled "diet", and I was completely stumped, wondering what the "right" answer was, rather than putting what I actually feed her :puzzled: In the end I just put "normal" :oops:

Also there was a section on permissions, and again I was worried about putting the "right" things rather than what I actually want :oops:

How pathetic.

[Julesb]

I really couldn't give a toss!

[Opprobrium]

OK, maybe I was just trying to illustrate what I wouldn't do. I'm shocked that you and Abbie have had comments like that but maybe I live in a sheltered world :shrug:

At my thinnest I had random strangers offerring me food & begging me to eat & once had a mother tell me how terrible I was as I was influencing her daughter who had said she wished she was thin like me. On holiday with the girls I had men round the pool telling me that if I was on the pull I'd need to eat because no one would find me attractive. Then professionally I got blamed for every teenage annorexic girl in the country. :rolleyes: I think no matter who you are or what you do you'll get someone somewhere making comments, whether it's about your children, your pets, your looks, your clothes, your job, your lifestyle, your car, your house... people just like to make their opinion known, it makes them feel better about themselves. :rolleyes:

[Hevs]

Yes, apparantly I am a bad mother because I have tattoo's and chose to listen to alternative styles of music. I was once told by an older member of the public that I only had myself to blame when my child grew up listening to evil heavy metal music and ended up shooting someone!!!! She was the wife of a church minister mind and if she had actually met my children she would have seen that they are polite and well behaved members of society who have more understanding for others in their little fingers than she had in her whole being.

Quite frankly, I dont give a stuff what people think of my parenting skills or any other area of my life.

[Abbie]

At my thinnest I had random strangers offerring me food & begging me to eat & once had a mother tell me how terrible I was as I was influencing her daughter who had said she wished she was thin like me.

All the above, I've also had people insisting I'm anorexic and handing me cards for eating disorder helplines, I've had comments shouted at me in the street, I've had people stop me in supermarkets/shops, etc, etc.

But yes, I think we're too quick to judge people, half the time we don't know the full situation and as long as people aren't harming their kids I don't really give a monkeys. Same in that I don't really care what people think of my parenting skills either

[Mrs B]

again I was worried about putting the "right" things rather than what I actually want

How pathetic.

No, not pathetic at all Sazzle. Just a caring mummy who thinks things through rather than just writing down the first thing that comes to mind.:flowers:

I used to worry though, but my child is extremely happy and healthy and I finally believe that I'm doing good by him. Had to laugh yesterday though, an old lady told me he had cold feet, but she was sat by the beach in the blazing mid 20's sunshine wearing a cardigan, tights and a thick skirt!

[ChelseaHarvey]

I dont really care what people think about how im raising alfie, i no im doing the best i can and bringing up up the best i can... I think im doing a pretty good job.. Although he could make it easier for me sometimes

The only time i do care is when im out with him & he is creating up big time with big paddys and causing a scene and i then feel i am being judged by people & that i cant control him.. I cant sometimes but try to and i hate him creating up when out where i cant seem to control him and have to wait it out

[Mad Madam Mim]

I've noticed here recently that there's a lot of judging of what other parents are doing, based on isolated incidents that people have witnessed. And there again, a lot of people seem to be being judged by complete strangers. I don't think it's my business to judge anyone else, and for anyone else to judge me. TBH I don't really care what anyone else thinks of how I do things, I do it my way and it works for us :shrug:

ss
xx

I completely agree. It's true there have been quite a few posts complaining about strangers and their comments but there have been an equal amount of posts criticising strangers and their children.

I have also had the joy of strangers commenting on my appearance in the street both now and when I was much smaller. I guess people just feel the need to. I'm not sure what that says about them really and why they should be so bothered about commenting on someone (or their children) when they don't know them. Empty lives I imagine.

As I've said already said today elsewhere, I'm sure we should all rise above it and on a good day I know I have a happy healthy child but on a bad day a random strangers comments can be very hurtful (same as comments on here really). :smile:

[Mad Madam Mim]

Yes, apparantly I am a bad mother because I have tattoo's and chose to listen to alternative styles of music. I was once told by an older member of the public that I only had myself to blame when my child grew up listening to evil heavy metal music and ended up shooting someone!!!!

Did you laugh? I think I might have let a giggle escape at that comment.

[mrscoobie]

I don't think people are judging you, well not everyone. People will feel sympathy more than anything. Being with a screaming child is not fun and most people, especially mothers, will be able to see that.

They will never be able to say that it hasn't happened to them and that their child is perfect.:rolleyes:

It does piss me off when I see mothers treating their children badly or letting them behave in a manner which I do not think is appropriate. I would never say anything but I'm sure my face speaks volumes at times.:oops:

[Azana]

There does seem to be a bit more judging going on on here of late than I HOPE goes on IRL....... well I hope less judging goes on IRL - cos if it doesn't not only am I not going to win mother of the year anytime soon but I am completely oblivious...... just do the best I can.

[Mad Madam Mim]

I don't think people are judging you, well not everyone.

Well they are when they make comments of course but no of course not everyone. :smile: It only takes one on a bad day though :lol:

[mrscoobie]

Well they are when they make comments of course but no of course not everyone. :smile: It only takes one on a bad day though :lol:

Take the bint down:bwahaha:

[Mad Madam Mim]

Good advice I'll try it next time (will I be in trouble if it's an old man? - it's usually an old nman round here:lol: )

[mrscoobie]

Good advice I'll try it next time (will I be in trouble if it's an old man? - it's usually an old nman round here:lol: )

You might get slapped with an ASBO:thumb:

[flipflop]

I don't worry in the slightest what other people make of my paretning skills, but then I don't feel as if anyone has ever judged me or made any comment other than the usual things folk come out with just to say something.

Hopefully, I don't judge others too much for their choices either.

[Hevs]

Did you laugh? I think I might have let a giggle escape at that comment.

Laugh? I laughed so hard my Irn Bru snorted out of my nose! hahaha

[elledj]

Good advice I'll try it next time (will I be in trouble if it's an old man? - it's usually an old nman round here:lol: )

Yeah, I've noticed that too - is it a NE Scotland thing!??

I think a bit more 'live and let live' needs to be going on. Obviously there are cases of abuse and neglect where someone might be right to interfere but I wouldn't judge another mother because of what they feed their kids, what toys they let them play with etc, I don't know the whole story. It really ticks me off when people make comments to me about my parenting abilities - not so much because I doubt my ability as a parent, I'm just annoyed that they think they have the right to stick their nose in!:angry:

I wonder if the advent of reality TV and the increasing popularity of Jeremy Kyle-style shows has made people more opinionated on others lives? Or is it just human nature to think we all know best?:puzzled:

[Rosebud]

I worry a lot about what other people think of my parenting skills.

Logically i know i am doing a good job, people that know me tell me all the time, and that they couldn't cope with charlie the way i have.

BUT for years before charlie got any kind of diagnosis i had people come up to me in the street/supermarket etc and tell me that i should control him better or say "he needs a good smack" etc etc and it has left a huge dent in my self confidence.

I try not to let other peoples oppinions bother me but i dunno, i guess i am one of those people who want/need approval from others so i can feel good about myself :rolleyes: