Is it just my toddler?

[popinjay1]

I am just wondering because I thought Claire wouldn't still be doing this now she is coming up to 2.5yrs old.

Every night and some daytime naps she will scream before she succumbs to sleep. She has done it pretty much since we did controlled crying with her at 6 months old and I am now thinking this is why! But it is driving me mad and I keep imagining it will continue for years...

We've tried all sorts of things from leaving her to it, to going in after a set time and repeatedly saying its bedtime, go to sleep, but she does it most nights.

It has changed as she got older so now she actually screams Mummy rather than just crying. I know she isn't usually unwell and is probably a way of trying to get out of bedtime but it is really stressing me now as Amy will be going in her room when she is a little older.

Just wanted some similar experiences and reassurance that she won't be doing it when she is 8!

[Tazdevil]

:-( oh my god - i could have written that post too :smile: :no:

I sat on the stairs only last night and said to hubbie "when is she going to stop doing this, is she going to cry before going to sleep every night for the rest of her life?" :-(

I always previously thought that controlled crying whilst 'hard at first' would 'ultimately' get you to your goal - a child that would self settle easily without issue :yeahright: but seriously - I really really DID think that if i did this I would reap the benefit further down the road - yet it's now 15 months and I'm doing the same thing every night and STILL we have the same old thing of her crying terribly for a good 10 minutes before she 'eventually' settles and sleeps :-(

I'll be watching this space with interest popin as what with THIS and my other sleeping problem with her at the moment up screaming through the night I am a complete wreck, and a really despondant one at the moment

[WoollyNewty]

I wonder if it is just her sleep que? i.e. She needs to block out all the world and let out all her 'stuff' from the day and it's what she uses to get herself off? OK it's a damn sight more heart wrenching/annoying than sucking her thumb or stroking a blanket or taking to a teddy but it might just be her 'thing' and what works for her?

Alex always used to do it - it would last about 10 or so minutes - and then it did stop and I got used to it being all lovely and happy and then for some random reason it started again a while ago. It doesn't bother my OH at all and he's just like 'oh he's just having a yell' but I find it really teeth grindingly stressful! The best solution was just to go out the garden or do something to take your mind of it. Anyway it's stopped again now for no apparent reason and he's back to talking to his teddys instead.

Sorry I have no ideas about how to stop it it just seems to be a 'thing' they sometimes do but I can understand why you are stressed if she's going to be sharing a room with Amy! I am sure she WILL grow out of it though - maybe when she's older you will be able to reason with her more and make a 'game' out of her going to bed quietly (something like not waking the special sleep fairy or the like) and she can get stickers and prizes and stuff but I guess at the moment she's a bit young for all that!

[Lois Lane]

Paige was always a self-settler until about 3 months ago. I've no idea why - we follow the same routine we've always done - but now she screams blue murder when we put her down for a nap/to bed at night.

I'm afraid my only answer is to ignore it:oops: I have a rule in that I will not go back in after I've put her down - unless she's been screaming for a long time (longer than 30 minutes):oops: I'm sure a lot of you will be polishing the Bad Mother Award for me but it would drive me insane to keep going in to her.

Of course this is said with the smugness of a mother who only has the one to deal with - I'm sure I won't be so laissez faire about it when she's sharing a room with Heffalump!!!:shock:

[scatterbrain]

Elena doesn't scream, but we never did self settling either. I was too soft & as a result have had to stay in the room with her while she falls asleep until recently. Her routine now is to be read a story then when she's all drowsy I lie to her by saying I'm going to fetch my book and then go out. She hasn't cottoned on yet that I don't go back.

It does sound like it's probably just habit.

Scatterbrain

[popinjay1]

Thanks for your replies. I think it is probably habit and also partly because she doesn't want to sleep. She can self settle without screaming as she does do it occasionally.

I also think that maybe she associates going to bed as being naughty because we do use going to her room as her time out so I am going to try and find a different spot to use when she is naughty.

She will probably be well over 2.5yrs by the time Amy goes into her room so i am hoping making going to sleep quietly as part of a game will work.

It is just very draining to listen to it every night.

[Blonde Girl]

Dan does exactly this - he (at last :rolleyes: ) sleeps through reliably but he still yells and yells for about 10 minutes before he goes to sleep.

And he calls out 'Mummy duddle duddle' (cuddle) all the time which is heartrending so I feel your pain.

I have taken to just leaving him to it but going and standing where I can't hear him so well - or at least keeping busy (walkmans work a treat if you physically can't get away from the noise).

[popinjay1]

We have decided to drop the afternoon nap as we are finding the yelling goes on for less time if she doesn't have a nap during the day. Plus she is going to bed earlier too as she is exhausted by 5pm! So more child free evening time :thumb: .