Stressing about the birth (again...)

[Honey Dew]

Hi girls!

I was just after a bit of advice....

I have had 2 really difficult births. Our 2nd son was born navy blue & not breathing, both got stuck as I have a twisted pelvis from a horse riding accident when I was just 12 when I broke my back.

Both were actually natural births (although how forceps & ventouse can come under the umbrella of "natural" is beyond me... & both took ages, number 1 32 hours & number 2 29 hours.

I HAD made the decision to ask for a C section. However, at my last appt with my consultant, he pretty much fobbed me off about the twisted pelvis (we have moved since I had the boys, I think my previous consultant would have granted a section straight off) & although he said he didn't want to sway me either way, he actually put me right off a section with horror stories about how it is more traumatic for mother & baby. Can cause problems with baby's breathing, bonding can be difficult, etc...

I am also absolutely TERRIFIED of surgery (didn't sleep for 4 nights before I had my tonsils out last year :rolleyes: ) I'm a real wuss. So, I guess I didn't take much convincing.

The thing is, I was speaking to a friend today, who had 1 really difficult birth & then a planned section. She was saying t hat if it was her in my situation, after all the trouble I'd had & especially nearly losing Jude, she would be going for a section.

I am now at odds. I have to see my consultant on Monday & don't know whether to insist on a section (my friend says if I explain that I am REALLY scared for baby's health, they will just do it.) She just made me think. If it is the difference between baby being fine or not, then I will just do it. Really, it is my fear of surgery putting me off.

Sorry about mammoth post! Probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm all in knots!!

[PoppyHoney]

I'd say you've got a very good case for an elective c-sec. The reason c/s babies have breathing problems is just because they haven't had the "preparation" of labour to warn them that they're coming out, and it's normally very easily overcome with a little bit of oxygen through a mask while the mum is being stitched up.

I think 99 out of 100 women who had c-secs would tell you that it didn't cause any bonding problems, and I'd imagine it would be less traumatic than a horrible birth that dragged on and on and had loads of problems.

A planned c-section is actually very safe, because everyone is prepared and not rushing, and you've not already gone through hours and hours of labour, so you're not tired out already.

If it's what you want, stick to your guns, and don't let him fob you off!!

ETA Ask Opprobrium how long it took her to feel up to :adultcontent:again!

[Azana]

Hey "Miss M" - well you know what I think :wink: but just wanted to say :wave: - maybe we both need hypnotherapy to calm us down about it?

Az

[Damsella]

"Bonding" - I hate that word!! :angry: It is totally unmedical and unquantifiable.

I had a home birth and although I loved my baby, I didn't "bond" with her until she started smiling at 6 weeks.

Hundreds of women have c sections every week, for various reasons - is that a problem? No.

As for recovery times - sure you have a scar, but then us "natural" birth ladies have stitches and tears that take ages to heal!

You do what you want, and stuff the MALE doctor :angry:

[Honey Dew]

Thanks girls!

Hey Az!!:wave: I have to see the consultant tomorrow. Was going to ask hubby if he'd come along with me for a bit of moral support. Have got used to attending all my anti natels alone & was actually quite shocked when I heard that my brother went to all of his wifes!!

Anyhoo... He's not happy about me having a section. We had a BIG discussion/argument yesterday which ended up with me in tears. He thinks that a "natural" birth would be better & that I can always have an emergency section if I need to. Tried to explain that an emergency section was to be avoided if at all possible & if there was the remotest chance that one would be needed then it is best to opt for an elective. He was having none of it.

So, looks like I'm on my own tomorrow. Despite my fears, I think I'm going to ask for a section.

Thanks again everyone!

PS - Damz - I didn't "bond" with our 2nd son for absolutely ages. I think for me, it was due to the fact that I was suffering from PND throughout the entire pregnancy.

[Damsella]

I am a bit :puzzled: by your husband's attitude.

Frankly, I think it sucks.

Perhaps if he had been through two difficult labours he wouldn't be so flippant about an emergency c section.

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and you get it sorted the way you want to.

[Hello Kitty]

After all you have been through I would definitely ask for a section. It's all very well everyone else suggesting you go for a natural birth but they don't have to do it do they?:flowers:

[Honey Dew]

I am a bit :puzzled: by your husband's attitude.

Frankly, I think it sucks.


So do I! Sometimes he really makes me :hissyfit:

[PoppyHoney]

Thanks girls!

Anyhoo... He's not happy about me having a section. We had a BIG discussion/argument yesterday which ended up with me in tears. He thinks that a "natural" birth would be better & that I can always have an emergency section if I need to. Tried to explain that an emergency section was to be avoided if at all possible & if there was the remotest chance that one would be needed then it is best to opt for an elective. He was having none of it.

So, looks like I'm on my own tomorrow. Despite my fears, I think I'm going to ask for a section.


Kick him in the balls every 5 mintues for the length of your last labour and then tell him he has to go through major surgery after that - he'll change his tune! :bwahaha:

[Damsella]

Kick him in the balls every 5 mintues for the length of your last labour and then tell him he has to go through major surgery after that - he'll change his tune! :bwahaha:A very good idea.

[Honey Dew]

Hmmmm..... A very real option...

Just got back from my brother & SIL's they are expecting a baby 3 wks before us & they both backed me up saying it should be my decision.

Definately going to do it. Just need to pluck up the courage to ask & stand my ground tomorrow!

[Azana]

Cripes Miss Melon - just wanted to add my support.

At the end of the day it is your body - but if he is being funny about it perhaps point out the risks to the baby and you being higher from a risky birth. Also point out that he won't actually SEE the business end (screen) and if he wants to be involved he can cut the cord (OH is not keen) but also will be the first for cuddling whilst you are stitched etc.

Men - huh - IMO they can HAVE an opinion but they don't have to go through labour do they??? Having said that OH thought I should try for a natural birth UNTIL he came to a consultant's appt with me.

Good luck with it all, and yay for your brother!

Az xx

[Jamtart]

Good luck with your appointment Miss M!

I would opt for a section too! I am opting for a section as I am petrified of giving birth and had an emergency c-section with Kendiee! I would do what you feel is best for you!

[Honey Dew]

Had my appt today &, would you believe it, the bloomin consultant was off sick.

So I'm still working myself into a frenzy over this shite!!

Feel like :pants: . Got a stinker of a cold & really wanted to get this sorted.

JT - I'm terrified of giving birth too, after what happened the 2 previous times. I think I'm more terrified of surgery though!! Catch 22!!