Closure! and thanks!!

[Jamtart]

Last night I wrote a long email to my ex, basically telling him how I felt about the situation and if he did realise he does want to talk then he knew where I was. I said I wanted to get it over with once and for all. I told him if he still wants nothing to do with baby after we have a chat (if we have one) then we will go our seperate ways and he will only hear from me to say the baby has been born and then from CSA regarding money. I said if he doesn't get in touch then it doesn't matter as I have accepted that my baby will probably never know its father and that I will probably never see him again.

And you know what... I woke up feeling great. I have not been upset, I have not thought about him and felt the usual stabbing pains or like I am about to cry. I don't feel the guilt I used to everytime baby kicked... I feel bloody amazing actually and I can't remember the last time I felt like this.

I think I have had my closure... I have saved the email so I can read it back if I slip a bit and feel down... getting it all out really helped and now I know M knows exactly how I feel, I was honest without being emotional and I was not bitchy nor did I slag him off at all.

Hey this may be short lived... but at least I know I can do this now... I can get over him and I can get on with my life with my 2 children and most of all I can be HAPPY!!!

I just want to say thanks to all you wonderful Damsels who have given me so much advice, support and have just cared so much... especially thanks to all the PMs and texts... they have meant so much! Its nice to know people really do care!

I love you all!!! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grouphug:

[Petrus]

aww honey thats ok, thats what we're here for!

you've been great too though so strong and full of great advice x

[Princess Fiona]

:clap: Well done JT, i'm so pleased its made you feel better, must be a weight off your shoulders.

Onwards and upwards now then :cheer2:

[dora the ex...]

again jt well done to you xx

[Valentine]

Well done you! You have DEFINATLY done the right thing!

[Wol]

I'm so pleased you're feeling better. You really do deserve it!

[guinness]

glad you;'re feeling better, you sound really positive, it's your ex's loss!
new flat, new baby.... yay!
S xxxxx

[spritzer]

Well done:ellie:

And, you enjoy those baby kicks - they are just the best:grin: Who'd be a man and miss out on one of the most wonderful feelings on earth:clap:

[Adelelee]

WOW, you go Jamtart :clap::clap::clap:

Well done you, very proud of you:flowers::flowers:

[Athers]

It's good to hear you sounding so positive! He doesn't desrve all your heartache but I know it must be hard for you.

Athers

[Crazyfool]

I'm so glad you have reached this point JT. You will make a fab mum and will be everything bubs needs. Welldone you :ellie:

[Jamtart]

Thanks girls! :flowers: I still feel postive today. It was my Grandad's funeral and even tho it was upsetting, I didn't wish M was there with me! I know that means something because before I always wished he was there, and that was mainly smaller stuff.

Long may this continue! I am concentrating on getting my flat sorted and starting fresh... things can only get better! :ellie:

[Angel]

Well done and so pleased you're feeling positive about it :ellie:

[Katoid]

Im glad to hear you so positive hunny, it must be so hard but you are getting there and will be great! Big hugs xxx

[ChelseaHarvey]

Well done JT def a good idea what you have done

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/chelseaharvey/modelpicskeith.jpg

[Jamtart]

thanks girls :flowers:

I still feel great so thats 3 days now :rock:

I hope this lasts!

[Kerzen]

I'm glad you're feeling so chirpy. How's the painting going?