Do you still hold a candle for an old flame?

[RedTiger]

At the risk of my DH knowing my username and reading my posts :shock: I have to admit I do :oops: I still think about my ex sometimes and wonder what might have been, even though its 14 years since we split up and we only went out for a few months. We just seemed to click, and I still get butterflies when I think about him - we split up because in his words he was 'falling in love' with me and he hadn't long came out of a long term relationship which ended because his gf cheated on him with his best friend. He couldn't handle another serious relationship at that point so we reluctantly split up but we did bump into each other a couple of times after that on nights out and, erm couldn't resist!

I'm going through another of my 'thinking about him' phases which I do every so often :sigh: even tried a search on friends reunited :oops: :doh:

Please tell me i'm not the only freak that does this?! I really don't know why this happens - he wasn't exactly the perfect bf, or even good looking but he just does something for me :lust: :oops: (and please don't let my DH read this :pray: :lol: )

ETA: OMG - I got an error when I clicked 'post' which I thought was a sign I shouldn't post this thread but it seems to have worked anyway!

[August Girl]

Yes, I do too. I found out last week he got married a few months ago and the pics are on Friends Reunited. I used to console myself with the fact he was a commitment-phobe, can't do that now!

[dora the ex...]

not an ex a such but a lad i used to be very good friends with and we got very close till his mum and dad found out i was only 15 :oops: and i wonder if it would of ever gona any further havent seen him for yrs now.. but i know ive got the better life :ellie: my other 2 ex's i hate the ground they walk on..:oops:

[RedTiger]

I still live in blissful ignorance that he's still single and waiting for me! We met a few times when I was out with DH (although once that didn't stop us :oops: ) and this was up to a couple of years after we split up and he hadn't met anyone else. Not sure i'd want to know now.

[Minerva]

All my ex-boyfriends are yucky! :zombie:

I think about some of them sometimes... did he ever get his nose fixed, work out his dependency issues etc. Hee hee!

[Petrus]

Oh yes, i em saw him a couple of weeks ago when i was out and he ended up staying a my house :adultcontent: the passion is still there, i'm just gutted we're not still together, although i wouldn't have my beautiful son if we were!

[sersha]

I do, but we split up because he "thought he might be gay" so I don't exactly hold out much hope!!!

[Soreya]

I do! and it does drive me mad:doh:
I still have feelings for my ex HB and althoug I was the one who stopped the relationship...I can t get him out of my system:hissyfit:
we have a son toghether so we are in contact all the time...thing is I have now a great BF(3 years)he s wonderful and our relationship is :thumb: so why bother about an ex I don t even want back?!..
When I heard he had a new GF I cried for 2 days, how pathetic:loco: !
we get on great now but I k now it s only because we don t have to live tog.
Worse is I feel really bad and guilty about my BF, as he is so perfect:nod: and it annoys him to have my ex around, he sometimes say''I know he s the man of your life' (althought I completly deny it:no: )
It s been going on for a few years and I wish I stopped beeing so stupid:doh: :loco: :hissyfit: :faint: :brainache:

[tekkencat]

nope - i put them in a helium balloon and let them go !:ellie:

[Minky]

Well, judging by the dream I had last night :shock: evidently I do!

Though he really isn't an ex, just someone I nearly got jiggy with :yeahright: so maybe it's unfulfilled lust!!! :faint: .

Ach, couldn't go there, we'd drive each other nuts :puzzled: .

BUT on the other hand :twisted: I so could!

Minky:doh: :doh:

[lewpylew]

Not an ex(I only had one!) but a guy I used to fancy at school and never had the courage to do anything about and also a guy I really fancied at work and think he liked me but nothing ever happened as we had both just come out of long term relationships.

I know I wouldn't have my H's then but I would not have a grumpy b*stard of an OH too! and may have someone who loves me for who I am xx

[Lois Lane]

Ooh 'eck no!! None of mine were anything to write home about. I do see my ex from time to time as we have a mutual friend but seeing him just reinforces why we split up. We broke up over 12 years ago (basically he's a snivelling, whiney Mummy's boy!) and even now he is jealous of me and DH!!! He didn't know we had Paige and saw us at a friend's child's christening and he apparently stormed out without saying goodbye to the hosts as he was so upset!!!!:teehee::shock: I mean, get a grip it was TWELVE years ago!!!

[RedTiger]

I know I wouldn't have my H's then but I would not have a grumpy b*stard of an OH too! and may have someone who loves me for who I am xx

Ditto! And Lois I may be likely to be the one storming out if I found out he had a wife and kid(s) (even though I have a husband and 2 kids :lol: :loco: )

Been trying to remind myself of all his bad points but unfortunately the good ones are more memorable :adultcontent: :oops:

[Adelelee]

Well, judging by the dream I had last night :shock: evidently I do!
Minky:doh: :doh:

God I have rudie dreams about my ex all the time, so much so its starting to worry me a bit :shock::shock::shock: I mean I am perfectly happy with DH and love him more than I have ever loved anyone so why do I think/dream of ex so much :doh::doh::doh:

[ChelseaHarvey]

Your not alone, i often though about a ex of mine and wondered what he was up to etc, i was even tempted to text him mobile number that i had for him to see if he still used it ok i did :oops: but it wasnt used anymore.

I saw him though in Feb at a nightclub and after talking to him for ages i realised i am so over him, and have moved on, although after he saw me he has text me a few times ive had the same number for about 8 years and has asked to meet up etc just as mates. We were together for about 3.5 months so not long but he had something about him that i liked very much and i fell for him in a big way

[Henrietta Figg]

An absolute ba$tard I went out with when I was 16 tried to contact me via Friends Reunited a couple of years ago!! I told him in no uncertain terms to crawl back under the stone he'd emerged from. Very very satisfying.:lol: :lol:

Ther's only one I think of in a positive way.... sigh, he was absolutely gorge, 6 foot 4 of scrumtiousness and I ditched him for the prat above.:huh: :scratchchin:

Mr HF is wonderful though. He is my rock, he's always there supporting and encouraging me in whatever I do, our marriage is based on a rock-solid friendship and mutual love and massive respect for each other.

He doesn't make me weak at the knees anymore, just makes me laugh every day of our marriage. We've been through so many tough times, neither of us would do anything to jeopadise our marriage. Sorry for the ramble.:oops:

[Moose]

Yes, an ex, ex of mine - but I think that is more lust than anything :oops:

An yes again, to my ex husband who is the most kind, generous person ever - I crave the stability he provided me with :sigh:

Still, I wouldn't have my two children had it turned out any other way.

Moose x

[tigurr]

Hmm, not sure whether it's "holding a candle" or just the "what if", for me...

There was 1 bloke who I absolutely adored (feeling was mutual) but we were such good friends that we never acted on it - and part of me will always wonder "what if...?" with him

As for my ex, there is definitely a lot of "what if..." there. What if I hadn't fallen pg, what if I hadn't had an abortion, what if I hadn't gone to the UK on holiday 5 weeks afterwards and met now-DH? I still think of my ex and wonder what-if? We'd've been married 9 years now (apr 5th) had it not all gone spectacularly tits up LOL

I think the times when I think back fondly about exes is when things are less than ideal with DH - I guess it's an escapism of sorts.

[bisy backson]

hmmm, well i will admit to having certain dreams about certain gentlemen i have known - i never had a relationship with them but we were extremely good friends - its always really odd when i wake up in the morning and remember them as i never remember feeling that way inclined towards them at the time, but maybe i just surpressed my feelings.....

so that of course sends me down the what if route and my mind goes haywire!

funny thing is we're all happily married with 2+ children now. omg! (just not to each other :lol: )

bbxx

[Skibunny]

I sometimes think I do - but then I wonder whether I'm really just holding a candle for a time in my life he represents - when I was at uni and was young slim and had a life. we still keep in touch - not seen him for about a year now but had an email not too long ago - he still flirts with me as well.

I miss him lots!

But I do love DH.

Skibunny
xx

[guinness]

i do too, though not an ex, someone i was totally in love with in school (well i think we both fancied each other in a 'i'm too shy to do ANYTHING about it' kind of way!)
he is still in touch with one of my friends but i havent seen him fo ages... still have rudie dreams about him though! :grin:
stupid as i love my husband but dreams are a healthy way of getting it out of my system i reackon - as long as they stay in my head it'll all be fine!! :wink:
S x

[scrobble]

I don't still hold a candle for anyone, although I do swoon a little over some of my old celebrity crushes!

When I was 11 I went out with a guy for a few months who's still one of my best friends in the world, and hubby still refers to him jokingly as his 'hated rival'. :loco:

[popinjay1]

Yes there is one particular ex I do think about every so often. We dated for 3 years and I wanted to move to London but he didn't so I split up with him. I do think if we had met later in our lives then it may have worked.

I still hear abit about him through mutual friends and my sister works at the same place as him. From what I have heard he is as still living with his parents and is single (he is 35).

[Pancake01]

I don't hold a torch for any of my exes, but I do dream about the worst one - the one who let me down and ruined my life for 4 years. I dream I leave my DH and LO and go back to him. It's a recurring nightmare and I wake up screaming because it would be the stupidest thing I would ever do. :doh:

[Sweet7]

I suppose I do, although I haven't seen this chap for four years now. I met him at a very transitional point in my life and he became a great friend and really helped pull me through the situation I was in. We never really went out and circumstances meant we never could get together. We did manage to do the deed four times in all the years we knew each other and it was stunning, but I think I knew that he was in too different a place from me to commit to me for a very long time. I know he loved me and I certainly love him and always will, and occasionally I get wistful, but then I have a lovely hubby who I adore and love to bits who has given me just that little bit more that this other guy could not.

[Bananatree]

Yep, all the time. DS dad was my first true love and i still would have him back now even after everything that happeed between us which wasnt very nice.
I wish I could speak to him and tell him what a gorgeus fantastic son he has- even tho I know he has had 2 more kids in the time we have split which is 3 years !
I also wish I had done what I wanted and not what other people wanted- my life could be so different if I had of. Sigh, never mind, will never speak to him again, still do love him tho.

Am with someone else now who I adore but its not quite the same - just hope he doesnt know my username or I could be single again !

[Richard's gal]

yes, there is someone i will always have a 'thing' for, we never even got together, but i will always be envious of his girlfriend.

[moonie]

A bit late to the thread again:oops: Yes I do. I'm still best friends with my ex and I do love him. He's everything my OH isn't and my OH is everything my ex isn't. We've gone through stages where he'd tell me he wanted me back but I wouldn't, then I'd go through a rough patch and tell him I was coming back down south and we'd get back together, but he was in a relationship. Which made him question that relationship, so complicated. We both accept each other for who we are and are always there for each other if we need a shoulder to cry on. He just knows how to make me feel loved, good about myself and gives me a good ego boost. We email and text each other regularly and he always takes time out to see me when I'm down south. If I could squash ex and OH together I'd have my perfect man!

[Penelope Pitstop]

I never had a proper relationship until meeting OH when I was 23, but while I was at university I fell quite badly in love with one of my best male friends. It was never reciprocated, and he treated me absolutely awfully as a friend once he found out how I felt. The sad thing is that to this day I still think about him every so often, or dream about him. There's still a lot of fondness there, and despite how badly he treated me in the end (eventually just vanishing from my life completely and ignoring me when I tried to contact him) there is still a lot of fondness there and I still tend to look on him as being a nice guy who was just a little messed up and misunderstood. I guess in some ways I always wanted to be the one to "save" him and help him realise how much potential he really had/has.

Every so often I wonder about sending him an evening invite to my wedding, sort of as a goodwill gesture to let him know that there are no hard feelings and I do still care. It would probably be a very bad idea, but it's not like he'd actually come anyway.