Birth options getting me down (possible sensitive)

[funky11je]

Hi Girls

may be a long one & definitely self pity …
+++++ may be sensitive for first timers – details of difficult birth +++++++
My last birth experience was not a good one, my DD was 2 weeks OD. Everything started by itself, but I had to go on drip to speed it up Due to some problems with the drip I ended up with too much Syntocinon in my system, contractions where so bad I was given a pethidine shot – this just lead to me missing a large part of my DD birth. When it came to pushing I was not really present ifukwim. As it was taking so long, they went for a vacuum delivery, my DD head came out but her shoulders were caught, they had to use a lot of force to free them which damaged her nerves in her arm – so she had no control of her arms for the first few days, luckily she has no problems now (this could have been another story)

Anyway that is the history & now I was heading towards my second birth, I want to have this one naturally but this option may be taken away from me. The gynie last time said I had to have a c-s, I spoke to a new gynie on Monday & she thinks they will stick with the c-s.
I don’t want to put my baby at risk, but I don’t want a c-s either – I just want a ‘normal’ birth, I want to be able to go home asap, I want to be able to physically enjoy the first days, I am afraid of an epi & the c-s – I have never had an operation in my life. Writing this it just seems so illogical but I have been so down since I heard that the chance of a c-s is so high, all I can do is cry – I feel like my body is letting me down, since it can’t do what it is meant to – I don’t want to offend anyone who has had a c-s, as I really do admire the fact that you have gone through it and got out the other end. I just wish I could be so brave. So what can I do to adjust and get used to the idea – I don’t want to go into the operation with should negative feelings … as it is already bring me down & made these last days of my pg negative (I didn’t want to be pg anymore which frightened me) and I’m afraid that if I don’t resolve it in my head my problems could get bigger after the birth .

If you got this far thank you for reading

11je

[icclebunny]

:higgies: First of all dont let anyone push you into a c-section if you're not comfortable with it. You are within your rights to request a vaginal birth after c-section. Im reading a really useful book at the mo called Blooming Birth www.bloomingbirth.co.uk (Got it from my local publishers outlet for a few quid)

Its helping me to cope with some of the things Im concerned about with this birth - and its got some very useful information about your rights too - Id highly recommend you read it.

Also, is it possible to go through your notes from your previous birth with your MW? Help talk about any fears you have and confront them. Also see further down the page I posted a thread about Positive Affirmation - some people dismiss this as nonsense but I find it very useful for getting into the right frame of mind (and Im no tree hugger :wink: Im a huge skeptic on these things normally)

Hypnobirthing may also help relax you - there are lots of options but I have to dash in a sec - take a look at the link I posted and I shall be back with somemore tomorrow :flowers:

[funky11je]

thanks for the quick reply iccle, will have a look at the link :flowers:
I'm no tree hugger either, but I do think things like positive affirmation can work - the mind is a complex thing

11je

[lucypede]

First off :higgies: as that birth does not sound nice at all :no: But I'm also confuse as to why they are saying you need a CS this time? Surely the vacuum was needed because you had pethidine and weren;t able to push? What I mean is, there was nothing wrong with you which contributed to it? I'd really want to know what they wrote down at the time to find out if there is something you are missing? If dd was born vaginally, albeit with trauma, then surely its ok to try again?
I second iccle on the natal hypnotherapy stuff too, I've been listening to some CD's this week and I am feeling the difference already. I had a hideously long birth last time too and had several panics about doing it all again.

[angie19]

Hospitals are far too quick nowadays to perform c-sections or to intervene in one way or another. As IB says, you do have a choice and if it were me I'd be exploring all my options before doing what the hospital tell me I have to do.
There are a couple of websites you can check out www.homebirth.org.uk (http://www.homebirth.org.uk) which deals with more than just homebirth and www.aims.org.uk (http://www.aims.org.uk) which will be able to tell you about your rights and choices in childbirth.
I hope you manage to find a solution to this, either by giving birth naturally or managing to at least settle your mind before the event.

[Pikeypants]

Oh sweetie that sucks :sigh: I think Iccle has given you some excellent advice though & I agree- I don't understand why you can't have a vaginal delivery this time as the issues around last time seem to have been the hospital's fault, not anything wrong with you or baby as such :puzzled:

I would go back to them feeling more positive & assertive :wink: & definitely go through your old notes as Lucypede suggested.

Big :higgies: & good vibes for you sweetie xxx

[funky11je]

Thanks lucypede - I will look into the natal hypnotherapy if only to calm me down a little.

The main reason they recommend a c-s is because it would seem tha I am quite narrow & my DD was broad - this is why her shoulders got caught. The dr also wasn't impressed with my pushing techniques - but as I said I wasn't really 'there' so how the hell could I push (stop rant). He thinks that part of my cervix was still hard & this is where mia got caught - the problem is even through I think this is got to do with all the drugs - there is no way of proving this and can I take this risk ...
I will have a growth scan next week, as if the baby is not too big they may let me try but at the first sign of trouble they want to do a c-s which panics me alot

I hope this all makes sense

11je

[cheeky_biscuit]

what a nightmare :higgies:
I have found that docs/mw didn't believe that i couldn't feel my contractions to push, i'd also had pethidine about 40mins before I was fully dilated (not a good idea!).
I was looking at options for me and the growth scan thing, what is the cut off? how do they decide how big a baby you're capable of delivering? I don't mean to worry you,but I just don't understand how they come to a decision.
Can you change consultants and speak to a different one about your options?

[funky11je]

:flowers: girls

the thing is I'm in the Netherlands - traditionally the home birth country. It just wasn't to be last time & my midwifes wouldn't like to take the risk this time - although they do support my 'choice' to have a vaginal birth in the hospital. It is just getting the hospital to agree that is a problem - in general I don't think they push c-s here, but saying that once you get into the hospital everything seems to become a medical problem.
I will go through my notes again with the gynie - have an appointment in two weeks (after growth scan). Gives me some time to read the websites too just to get my mind around it all- DH will be with me - and luckily he is a great support to me.

again thanks for the hugs - I so needed them. The amount of hormones doesn't make it any easier hey


11je

[sunshine]

I am so sorry that you had such a hard labour last time. My friend had a similar experience to you, although her daughter was bigger than expected and also had shoulder dystocia. If I remember rightly then the risk of it happening again with her next baby is unfortunately increased, and not all babies recover fully from the nerve damage as I'm sure you know. Sorry to sound so negative but there might well be a very good reason why they are suggesting the CS.

I think that a planned CS is a lot easier than an emergency one and there are benefits to this when it is your second baby, in that you can organise childcare etc. Plus your last labour sounded very uncontrolled and dramatic so perhaps this could be a healing experience for you?

By the way I had a homebirth so am not normally an advocate of unneccesary c-sections!

I know that this must be heartbreaking for you, but at the end of the day what matters most is your and your baby's safety. Tryand think positive.

[lucypede]

Well good luck honey, I hope you can get some reassurance from the gynaes. Its still your choice, you know, don't feel pushed in to anything xxx

[funky11je]

C-B basically the baby has to be smaller than DD was at birth (she was 4 + kg) - so not much of a gauge really. I think it has actual more to do with the width, myself

I think I have alot more research to do before my next appointment, otherwise I can always ask to talk to a consultant at another hospital. The gynie I am seeing now, said she would discuss the issue with her collegues - this is there main course of action when a patient wants to go against the advice from another gynie
My midwife will also contact me after the meeting, to see how things are going, I saw her after the meeting on monday & broke down - so she knows how much this is effecting me & there to speak to, which is a relief

Thanks Sunshine - also thanks for reminding me of the EN medical term (I only know the Dutch terms) - as you said it is a risk, I'm not too sure if I have an increased risk, but it is there - so I will have to be realistic as to my options

11je

[icclebunny]

Didnt get a chance to reply properly last night as I was off to bed - early start this morning, brain is just about in gear now.

OK, big babies - they dont actually occur that often (generally they have to be over 9lb something to be classed as macro-something*brainfuzz*) and your body wont grow a baby that your body cant handle so this talk of you having a narrow pelvis isnt necessarily true. Its more likely to be a case of a bad experience (but thats just my opinion, I dont know all the facts, just from what Ive read over the last few years)

If you were to have a vaginal birth (I have nothing against c-sections, before I start rambling, Im just like you and have a huuge hang up about being opened up and rumaged in :oops: ) I would try and avoid pethidine as it seems like you reacted badly to it and it can leave you feeling spaced out. It also sounds like it was a big factor in limiting your pushing. Can you ask your MW if Meptid is an option for you? Its similar to pethidine but isnt opiate based so may leave you feeling less spaced afterwards.

The fact that you have had a vaginal birth before will mean that your body has opened enough once to allow a baby to pass through so it will be that bit looser this time (Im not trying to imply anything, honest :wink: ) In second births, after a previous vaginal birth you are less likely to require an assisted delivery :thumb:

Even with late scans, weights of babies etc are still only Guesstimates. I was advised Mini IB would be roughly 7lb 4oz because of their charts* and scan indications so you can imagine my shock when this 8lb 6oz baby wriggled out of me :eek: (*charts in the UK are often based on American studies but applied to British women, which is rather bizarre as there are many differences in culture etc throughout Britain that it is very generalised to try and pin every woman down as the average :rolleyes: sorry, bugbear of mine )

The main thing is that you are able to make an informed decision in how you would like to proceed and that you are able to come to terms with your decision and any outcome before the birth. Even if you do have a c-section in the end, you will be better able to handle it if you have tried to get to the bottom of what it is that scares you about a c-section now. and FWIW epidurals can be much relief, and if you are able to have a c-section with an epidural/spinal rather than a general anaesthetic you may feel less out of it afterwards.

Just one last thing, are you definately sure of your dates this time? Due date guesstimates from last time may have been a reason why your cervix wouldnt soften

:flowers:

[RealGoneKid]

:hug: F :hug:

I hope you manage to sort things out with your dr to get the birth you want.

On the other hand, I had a planned CS with E for various reasons. I was absolutely terrified beforehand - I'm scared stiff of needles and had never had an op before - but it was a very positive experience. I'm happy to talk to you about it if you think that would help.

:hug:

[Chocolate Lips]

Hello

Just wanted to say, I had a very similar birth experience to you, everything you have mentioned, induction - pethidine - syntocinin - ventouse etc so very very alike. It all happened relatively quickly and was very intense and when it came to pushing her out it took 1.5 hours and I still couldn't do it. The words "narrow pelvic arch" were banded around but a c-section for subsequent pregnancies has never been mentioned.

Like you, I don't want a c-section and I don't want an epidural so that thought of it would send shivers down my spine too. Its not that I am scared, just that for personal reasons, I don't want them.

I think you need to have a chat with your doctors and really get to the bottom of WHY you need a c-section. Possibly without Pethidine you could push perfectly fine. I know I am going to avoid it this time as I was totally not even in the room, and had no urge to push.

I hope you get a satisfactory resolution that suits you and your baby.

[Posie]

I don't have much advice, apart from when I was expecting to give birth, I wouldn't even contemplate the thought of a c-section...it just was not going to happen to me.

Of course, sod's law meant that there were problems, and I ended up being rushed in for an emergency one. I wish I had learned a little more about them before going in to give birth, and that my mind was more open to the fact it was going to happen - because I think that is part of what made me panic actually during the operation.

What I'm trying to say is, try to learn a little more about the whole operation, and what your options are in terms of pain relief. So, if you are 'allowed' to try and give birth naturally, but it turns out that you do ending up having a c-section, you're prepared for that eventuality...and you're not disappointed in yourself.

A c-section doesn't mean you've failed in any way...and for me, the recovery period was nowhere near as bad as I'd heard. My sister had a ventouse assisted delivery 4 days later than me, and seemed to be in a lot more pain, for a lot longer. Yes, the first few days are difficult - but I was driving 2.5 weeks after I'd had Lily, and going for walks 1 week later.

I hope, that whatever happens, you take it in your stride and you are as prepared as you can be!!

[Tazdevil]

hello!!!

Like Posie above, I didn't even contemplate last time round the thought that I could have a c-section. My body was going to do it and that was that. I'd written my 'birth plan' on the basis of 'ideals' and in my head I had a set of ideals that gradually went out of the window one by one when it finally came to giving birth.

It took me a long time to get over my first birth, which upsets me now...just how much time I allowed it to get me down. There ARE certain positive factors for me now, having an element of hindsight that I didn't have at the time :nod: I wasn't scared of the section as such, although that's becuase I was awake, if I had been knocked out that would have been a TOTALLY different matter for me, as this scares me completely. I have a real fear of going under GA.

I DID battle the impending decision of a section from when they started mentioning it to me. I was extremely upset and tearful and didn't want to entertain the thought at all. Lots of things went wrong and ultimately, with failing forceps twice I DID end up with the section.

With this birth, I have been strongly advised to have another section. Initially, I was advised that if I didn't spontaneously labour before 40 weeks I would require one to avoid damaging the existing scar. Since this I have been diagnosed with spd and have been seriously recommended to have one. I was in turmoil a couple of weeks ago and got some brilliant advice on here.

I have now reached a decision that I'm comfortable with, and THIS i think is VERY important. My decision 'allows' for all kinds of eventualities including invariably a c-section. BUT, I am going to give my body a chance to 'do its thing' first within the limitations put upon me. IF, I cannot deliver this baby safely and without risk within those conditions then I accept I will have a c-section and will not allow THIS change of plan to affect me so deeply this time.

Kaede got a LOT of damage from both being stuck for a period of time and from the forceps. The aftermath for months was very hard and I wish neither of us had HAD to go through that. It was a bad start for both of us :no: The recovery from the section on the other hand whilst painful for a few days was MORE a pain in the butt for me because of being kept in the hospital. This is my main concern if I'm honest this time round too. I simply want to go home, and this is compounded by the fact I now have Kaede to go home to.

BUT there were serious lessons for me to learn from last time, not least of which to stop beating myself up about my body letting me down (which I did endlessly). Also the very true fact that how they get here doesn't NOT matter, i'ts that they GOT here safely.

Look out for me in the next couple of weeks as I at some point face up to my own demons and get back on here to tell everyone about it :wink:

I'd like to face them now as it happens, am fed up of waiting for the invevitable to happen.....so I'm off to type me up a 'baby out' post...............

[funky11je]

again :flowers: girls, seem to be saying this alot, but your replies are helping me alot - also just to think about all the options

Iccle - your knowledge is amazing & you really help a girl feel stronger to ask more questions before the decision is made. :bow: Help me be prepared with questions, as I sort of fell apart the last time, but the more prepared I am the better.

If I can have a vaginal birth, there is no way I want to have Pethidine - it just really messed with my head - I will have to check what other options they have

I still think the main difficult the doctors have is the shoulder dystocia - it doesn't happen very often, but it scares the mediccal profession & they don't really know why it happens - although the vacuum, induction & lying on my back to give birth don't help. So at least I know what to avoid this time if it comes to that.

RealGoneKid & Posie - thank you both, I also think it is important that I get me head around why I feel like this & come to a place where I can feel better about a c-s , as the possibility is a very real one, I do feel lucky that I have a chance to get used to the idea beforehand, I may take you up on you offer RGK

well have to go back to DD now, she doesn't like me being behind the pc too long :wink:

thanks again - it really helps to talk about it

11je

[redhed]

I'd agree that:
- your chances of a good labour are better this time
- you have a right to try for whatever birth you want
- there are choices you can make (in terms of pain relief, intervention etc) that can improve your chances.

However, there will always be a slim chance that you will end up with a section - not because your body is any worse at this than anyone else's, just statistically - and on that basis, I'd agree with IB that it would be good insurance to try to come to terms with that possibility. Maybe you should try talking to people (here or irl) about their section experiences, the overwhelming majority of which are very positive.

Oh, another thought - I know in the UK a few people who had difficult births first time round have gone back to their maternity units to talk through what happened and why, and have found that very helpful. I think part of your problem is you don't have enough understanding of what happened last time to be confident the choice you want to make this time is the best one. If they offer that to mums in Den Haag, I think it would be worth while.

[choccy eating monster]

:higgies: Just want to say that the advice from the others is excellent. It's your birth, your body and you do have rights.

Also, I can empathise with you because my DD was 11 days o/d and I went naturally, but they needed the drip and prostaglandin too.

I started on gas and air, but it was crap and I broke a tooth on the tube. Then I asked for peth and I was on another planet. I remember them telling me to push and I was really trying hard but after 2 hours had to go to theatre for epi and ventouse.

I could hear them saying "You have come so far, you mustn't lose baby now" which was horrible.

She wasn't injured at all, but I wasn't really "there" iykwim and I don't feel as though I gave birth, more that I had an operation.

It makes it hard to believe that my girl came from me sometimes. I still can't make sense of it all. I never wanted kids anyway, but I still haven't had sex because I feel "broken" and "damaged" down there. I won't be having any more kids.

I really hope you get the birth you want honey. xxxxx

[Peridot]

Hi Funky, firstly :higgies: for what you had to go through, sounds awful!!!
Also wanted to say that a cestion really isn't that bad or scary, in fact I found the whole thing quite exciting :loco: I think, from reading on here, the important thing to a "successful csetion" is to be as mentally prepared as possible for it to happen, it seems to make a big difference with how women feel during and after the csection!
But..... I also know how you feel about just wanting a "normal" birth!
Don't forget this is your baby and your body, you have the choice as to how this baby is born.
I would suggest you do as much research as you can to empower yourself or perhaps visiting an independant midwife/doula for their suggestion! I think a hell of a lot of pregnant women are bullied into making decisions they will go on to regret!

Obviously, if it is unsafe for you to have a natural birth then it will have to be a csection but if it is the case that what happened with your DD was down to your induction etc then I would stand your corner.

I went into pregnancy with the opinion that doctor knows best etc but this is certainly not something I'll be sticking to next time and something I feel quite strongly about !

Good luck :higgies:

[icclebunny]

Id offer to come to your appointment with you but the only Dutch phrase I know translates to "the floor is slippery" - mind you that may come in handy if your waters broke :lol:

The main thing is to feel empowered and make sure you do everything within your power to embrace this new life and all the options available to you. Im still having a pop at this coming to terms with a c-section thing. I dont think its so much a fear of a c-section as the phobia I have about them jiggling my internal organs :oops: but Im getting there.

Would you like me to send you a copy of the Blooming Birth book? Honestly its where Ive got a lot of very good info from :nod:

[Chocolate Lips]

Would you like me to send you a copy of the Blooming Birth book? Honestly its where Ive got a lot of very good info from :nod:

I also have a copy going spare, it was a free copy that came with Junior magazine last time sometime. I don't believe that I will ever having a Blooming Birth :tongue:

[cheeky_biscuit]

OK, big babies - they dont actually occur that often (generally they have to be over 9lb something to be classed as macro-something*brainfuzz*) and your body wont grow a baby that your body cant handle so this talk of you having a narrow pelvis isnt necessarily true. Its more likely to be a case of a bad experience (but thats just my opinion, I dont know all the facts, just from what Ive read over the last few years)


:flowers:
I'm not sure about the baby not growing bigger than the body can handle - Emma was less than 9lb and my body certainly couldn't handle it :oops: :happyno:
Funky let us know how you get on with your appt. and your "research". Good luck, I bet you'll be one of those people with a Blooming 2nd birth :smile:

[bisy backson]

just wanted to say, i really hope you get the birth you want.

having had an emergency c section i would say that if a c section is a possibility (however unwelcome and unlikely) it may be worth finding out all you can about the procedure & what you can expect before, during and after.

i had no idea about anything and totally wasn't expecting to have one - if i'd known it was a possibility i would have done a lot more research to help me feel more in control.

i think it can be a very positive experience if you are prepared for it and embrace it (for want of a better expression) even if its not necessarily your ideal birth.

hope things work out for you

bbxx

[nickimacrae]

Hi Funky.

I just too wanted to add my 2p worth. Listen - I've had two CS and you're not offending me with your "self pity" OK? Any birth can be traumatic or not as the case may be. You have every right to feel upset / angry / confused / disappointed / sad / grief / whatever. No type of birth / labour / delivery /pregnany gives any one any more or less right to have feelings they need to deal with afterwards. Your first step to working through these feelings is always going to be admitting its OK to feel them in the first place, so take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and tell yourself that its OK to feel bad then work out what you can do to remove the sticking plaster and build a more permanent fix of your feelings.

As PPs have said, I too would be very keen to go back though my notes from my last birth with someone knowledgable who you trust. I wondering if they even bothered to try any of the standard stuck shoulder manouvers (the classic being I think to flip you onto your hands and knees - IRC this can open up your pelvis a lot and the actual act of you moving is said to help the process too). Even tilting your bottom up onto a bed pan can be enough to free shoulders in some cases, or stretching out the legs.

I have read that stats show that 50% of shoulder dystocia happens with avarage sized babies, so don't let the size thing be the defining factor (actually I also believe that avarage sized babies are staistically more likely to get injured in a shoulders stuck situation than larger babies, but I'm not sure why this is). As has already been said too, ultra sound is notoriously unrelable for detirmining size of babies and can easily be anything up to 2lb out either way. The only proven way of testing your pelvemetry for any given baby is to try birthing the baby :smile: No other way to acturately predict, even with a history like yours! :wink: :wink: Don't forget that C section also has its risks and drs can be slack in explaining these to people so that they make fully balanced decisions. A sizable study which came out just in Dec in the US found that babies born by planned section are twice as likely to need to go to SCBU and twice as likely to have pulmonary problems when compared with babies born by planned vaginal birth. I'm not advocating you choose any type of birth over another, simply that it's always wise to do our own research and make your own decision rather than allowing one or two drs to lead your decision making - remeber that they are *consultants* you consult them, take thier advice and make our own informed decision. I also agree that it is possible to have a good section, even in an emergency situation, and it is worth you thinking through your options and birth plan for such a situation, getting all that igured out in advance. Perhaps something someone could start another thread on? I'm sure lots of the ladies here have ideas about what made or could have made thier CS and recovery better.

I think it would be really worth your while joing the UKMidwifery Yahoo Group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ukmidwifery/ - doing some searches back though the archives and asking there for some advice. There are a lot of very knowledgeable midwives there who have dealt with stuck shoulders sucessfully on many an occasion and thier advice could really help in your decision making.

Don't forget that all this talk of "is your body capable" is bound to be having an effect on your confidence. I really would lean on whoever you can for support and encouragement at this time. Even if you don't realise it it can be very easy to get ground down and end up feeling disempowered. Even if you decide you would like to go for a CS, being in that sort of state of mind is never going to be healthy. Take some time to do some nice things for yourself, do whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed and chilled and try to keep an equal focus on all the other nice / enjoyable non-pregnancy related things in your life - I often find it hard to remember (as excited as I am about this baby) that I am not simply a walking uterus!!! :lol::doh:

Good luck, my heart goes with you on your journey (doh! why can I not post stuff without some classic hippy type statement! :rolleyes: ) and please please let us all help if we can :smile:

[funky11je]

girls you are all so fab :thumb: and giving me a lot more confidence to figure it all out.

I will definitely look into the details of my last birth with my doc's just to get a better picture of what happens & maybe even find out where their fears lie - it does seem that the medical profession fears shoulder dystocia

Taz, I also took its time for me to get over my birth experience (I think I still am) especially the fact that my DD was injured during during it which although she has no problems now, did make me feel guilty. I really hope you get a 'good' birth experience this time round & that baby comes soon - will have to look for your birth vibes thread.

:higgies: choccy eating monster - it sounds like you have really been through it too. I know what you mean about not being 'there' it is something that haunted me for a long time. I really hope that you come to terms with it all & if you want to talk please let me know :higgies:

You have all given me lots of good advice, I will look first here to see if find the book here, will have to visit our local english book shop.
Otherwise I am working on trying to figure out my fear/adversion to c-s, I have some friends irl to speak to as well, so I will get them together soon - as what ever happens I do need to be able to accept & prepare for a possible c-s - think getting my head around it first, would make the healing process easier too.
I do feel more empowered after 'talking' to you girls, I have some more research, but also some time - the appointment is in 2 weeks - to get all my thoughts together in my mind & then on paper. Also DH will be there too, so together we should be able to cover things

Thank you all for you good birth wishes:flowers:, and I will keep you all posted, I feel much better today than when I first heard - I'm not there yet, but at least I have some weeks ahead of me - & I also get to see my LO next week during the scan :smile:

funky11je

[Chell]

Is Funky11je still around? I know this thread is really old but I found it when doing a search of Shoulder Dytoscia.

My DS has shoulder dystocia. When I had DD I has an elective section for this reason. When I had my pre-op assesment the consultant there questioned why my consultant had advised a c-sec!

After I had DD a MW on the ward also questioned why I had a csec. Their questioning really messed with my head.

I was against having a planned section but after doing lots of research it seemed like the safest option.

[Islander]

The main reason they recommend a c-s is because it would seem tha I am quite narrow & my DD was broad - this is why her shoulders got caught. The dr also wasn't impressed with my pushing techniques - but as I said I wasn't really 'there' so how the hell could I push (stop rant). He thinks that part of my cervix was still hard & this is where mia got caught - the problem is even through I think this is got to do with all the drugs - there is no way of proving this and can I take this risk ...
I will have a growth scan next week, as if the baby is not too big they may let me try but at the first sign of trouble they want to do a c-s which panics me alot

I hope this all makes sense

11je

There was a shoulder dystocia when my first daughter was born. Like you I am quite a small, narrow hipped person and my daughter was a big, broad baby. I was also stuck on my back with a drip in and had pethidine which I'm sure didn't help, had no urge to push whatsoever and they hauled her out with a ventouse after which I haemhorraged badly. When pregnant with dd2 I was offered an elective c-section which I refused but knew I would be pressured into having a section if dd2 had looked like being a big baby as they had me booked for a growth scan at 37 weeks.

However, I moved health authorities at 35 weeks pregnant to somewhere much more relaxed. They didn't even mention a scan, let alone a c-section.

Anyhow, I managed to stay upright and mobile during the labour and birthed a bigger baby than my first in 2 and a half hours flat with a little gas and air, no stuck shoulders, no interferance whatsoever, no haemhorraging and no stitches.

It can be done. Stand your ground. I'm convinced the intervention I had during my first labour was at least partly to blame for the problems I had. I've had two babies naturally since then and both have been very easy labours and births.

D x

[perceval]

I'm no tree hugger either, but I do think things like positive affirmation can work - the mind is a complex thing



Positive affirmation can work wonders. If you agree with your gynae that a c/s is the best option, PM me and I can give you some affirmations that will help you. I'm looking at a repeat planned c/s this time, but I'm completely at peace with it because I have thoroughly researched the reasons myself.

If you disagree with the gynaes pushing for a c/s and want to try for a natural birth, I would look into getting an experienced doula to support you and maybe book an Active Birth birthing class. You'll get lots of great info there.

Whatever you decide, you'll do what's best for you and your baby.

:flowers: