How long till he learns how to sleep by himself?

[Peridot]

Hi girls,

I think tiredness has finally hit me too!!!!
Okay so Thomas no longer wakes to be fed anymore but now he is just waking for attention!!
This week I have moved him to his own room so that I will only get up to him if he actually cries rather than when he is in our room and grizzles then gets my attention.
Every night without fail he wakes at 2.30am, he doesn't want milk, just spits it out, same with CBW, he has to be cuddled back to sleep, if he then goes back in his cot he will wake every 1/2 hour for the same thing, just wanting attention. He doesn't want to be fed until about 6am at the earliest.
If I take him back to our room and in to bed with me, he'll sleep straight away, just having a couple of wriggles, but I don't sleep at all, worrying that he's over heating and suffering from a dead arm as he has to be cuddled.
I want to carry on trying him in his cot but don't know how long I can take just walking through there and sssshing him back to sleep when taking him to our bed in the short term is such an easy option (still really don't want to though as I know it won't help in the long term_
Does anyone have any advice?
Annoying thinbg is, he doesn't seem to sleep properly at all unless his arms are swaddled down by his sides but then he also manages to kick all his blankets off without fail, which then wakes him. Would like to use a gro-bag to stop this from happening but then he can't have his arms swaddled :headscratch:

[popinjay1]

Hi

The only solution is to go in and sh sh him back to sleep everytime he wakes TBH. Or just go with it for now and try controlled crying when he is older. Bringing him into bed with you at his age won't develop any unbreakable habits and controlled crying isn't recommended before 6 months. It all depends if you have the energy to break his habit of waking up. It would most likely only take a day or two as he is very young.

As for the swaddling. You will find they sleep worse when not swaddled as they shock themselves awake because of that reflex they have. It does improve at around 6 months. Again if you unswaddle him, he will get used to it and sleep better after a while.

[bisy backson]

i would agree, at 2 months swaddling is a must for proper cosy sleeping, that's prob why he's sleeping better with you.

you can swaddle them quite firmly to ensure they don't kick the blankets off, without causing them any harm, maybe get the mw to show you how?

good luck, maybe put him back in your room till you get the sleepig sorted out or he feels a bit more secure - if you have the cot next to your bed you can try shing and patting without getting him out of the cot or you having to get him up?

Tbh though, other than the swaddling, its quite rare for babies to settle through the night 'properly' much before 6 months, of course there are plenty of exceptions but i would expect a rough ride for another few months and then you can only be pleasantly surprised.

give the swaddling another good go though,

hth

bbxx

[*kate*]

I only just discovered swaddling Gem, never did it with the other two and Josie has really taken to it, settling really well. Can't comment on whether or not it will help T not wake for attention as Josephine is still waking to be fed.

There's a thread on t'other side :wink: re swaddling and how to do it and I just used that for advice, but basically once the arms are done, I tuck the extra bits well under her bum and feet so she's lying on them and can't get out - probably wouldn't work so well with an older baby that can roll though. Then I have a sheet over the top tucked in well under the crib mattress so even if she lifts her legs they're constrained by the sheet (this sounds like I'm imprisoning her for the night :lol: )

It's worth persevering though as with No1 we let her sleep in our bed as she was just the same as Thomas sounds - 18 months later I was 8 months pregnant and resorted to sleeping on the floor with No1 tucked up in bed with DH as there wasn't enough room!

[Peridot]

Thanks ladies :kiss:
I have one of those "miracle blankets" and it says you should only use it until they are 14 weeks, I thought maybe you could only swaddle them until then? Maybe not by the sounds of it, it must be because the bit their feet go into won't be long enough. I have stopped putting his feet in it now and put them under the sheet instead.
Last night he still woke for reassurance but it was all about 40 mins later than the night before, maybe that'll carry on??
Blimey - can't believe it's 9pm, feels like it should be 9am!!!!

[bisy backson]

hi gemgal, you can swaddle for as long as they will tolerate it - often its their arms which are the first to go, in which case you can just continue swaddling but leaving their arms free - usually best once they lose their morrow reflex (the one popinjay mentioned)

don't forget he's still sooooo young (and cute!)! everything will come in time.

bbxx

[Peridot]

don't forget he's still sooooo young (and cute!)! everything will come in time.

bbxx

:wink: Thanks BB!!
He slept much better last night - slept till 3 then DH spent 10 mins ust sshing him, then he stirred at 5 so came into bed with us - I'm such a mug, can't resist it, then that was it till 6.30 so hopefully he'll keep going.
Will def keep swaddling in that case, I was starting to panic when I read the 14 weeks thing but it must be because of the actual size of the "miracle blanket" so that's a relief!