Friend advice needed

[Seagull&Snoopy]

I know known this woman for about 6 years. She is heavily Christian (no problems there) but she's a bit drinker, and a bit too OTT religious wise for me.

Yesterday she phoned me (sounded drunk) and asked me 14 times (ffs) if I was still planning on keeping the baby. I ended up in tears when I put the phone down! She also asked me 10 times if I was off work.

I asked her very nicely "Have you had a lot to drink, x?" . The conversation carried on.

30 minutes later I had a friend round and she again phoned - I left the ansaphone to pick up and she ranted into the ansaphone about how upset she was that I said she was drunk. My friend and I listened to her slurring her words and ranting for about 10 minutes. She told me I had to phone her back that night to apologise.

I have no intention of doing this. I have had 20 phone calls since - and ignored them all as they were last night (disconnected the phone).

I am sick of our "friendship". I want to finish it as such, although I feel bad about it.

Any suggestions? before she starts ringing tonight??
xx

[gillyf]

Just keep ignoring her. She'll get the message in the end.

[parkejm]

I'm not sure what I would do except as gillyf says - keep ignoring her. You have been through a lot seagull and you do not need 'friends' like these :higgies:

janice

[Puddser]

Have to say I agree with the others, just ignore her. Friends like that only bring you down and they are not real friends.

[Seagull&Snoopy]

Do you not think it "kinder" to e-mail or write to her to explain why.

I recently when 7 days without responding to her calls and she phoned 50 times. Her cousin works at my place of work and she even phoned them!

Also my phone doesn't flash up the number before -so it means I have to let everything click into the ansaphone which is a pain!
xx

[chicken.babe]

ignore her, like the other said she will get the message sooner or later

[Puddser]

Do you not think it "kinder" to e-mail or write to her to explain why.

I recently when 7 days without responding to her calls and she phoned 50 times. Her cousin works at my place of work and she even phoned them!

Also my phone doesn't flash up the number before -so it means I have to let everything click into the ansaphone which is a pain!
xx

I really wouldnt because if you contact her then it will only encourage her to keep contacting you. The best thing to do to someone like that is ignore them. It will wind her up for a while but eventually she will get the hint and back off.

[Seagull&Snoopy]

Ok, ignore seems the general consenus.

I don't think she will give up though, I really don't!

I also get on with her husband really well and will miss his friendship. (He has said before he is happy to keep in touch with me on his own -they really don't have a good marriage).

This is a woman though who when obsessed will not let things lie. I dread the phone ringing - it makes me feel sick! She will be back at 5.30pm and it will start ringing!!

[cherry fizz]

unplug the phone for 24 hours then.

to be blunt, she can only 'contact' you if you let her. she can try and make contact, ie email, ring, write even if she wants, but you have to make the choice on how to deal with it.

if she calls, say 'i'm very sorry but i'm not ready to talk' and put the phone down. ignore it for the next hour, unplug it if necessary. if she emails, delete it without reading.

if you really want shot of her, this is the fast-track. she sounds toxic, fwiw.

[Tekkencat]

could you have her number blocked? - you sooooooooooo dont need "friends" like this at the mo - good luck

[Seagull&Snoopy]

I think I am going to combine these.
If my phone rings I will answer it and if it is her I will say
"I am not ready to talk to you. " - if she is sober obviously - and put the phone down.

Then if she rings again -say "Please do not phone me again, I have said I am not ready"

Then if she keeps going unplug the phone, it my fecking phone though so I feel :yeahright: I don't need this at the moment

[Seagull&Snoopy]

Update: She just phoned and left a long message on the ansaphone saying
"I am just phoning to apologise for being so abusive on the phone last night. You neither need me going on about termination or any further stress while you are pg"................and then loads of other stuff.

Phew.......

not returning the call tonight though.

xx

[chuckle_monster]

Phew, glad she's seen how nasty she was being. Hope you can have a nice chat with her and sort it out on your terms when you're ready :higgies: xxx

[parkejm]

It's nice that she did that, but I would be wary still. Be careful that she doesn't apologise so that you open up to her again just so she can start up again.
Don't let her control your friendship i guess is what I'm saying

janice
janice

[Seagull&Snoopy]

I know - not planning to ring her back. Will send her a card I think saying

"Appreciate the phone call. I need as much support as possible for this pregnancy and do not need any stress. I need to protect both my baby and myself from stress. I am worried about you. Sometimes you repeat the same things over and over ir ask the same questions repeatedly in the same onversation, hence the concern over your health. I really need to rest and protect myself and the baby from an harm. I hope you have a good christmas"

I will not let her stress me or the baby anymore! I was dreading the phone ringing!