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View Full Version : The toddler from hell has just been round!



Elle Driver
03-05-2006, 02:34pm
my friend and her 2 year old little boy has just left and the place looks like an absolute pig sty :shock:

I mean i know toddlers are a mile a minute, want this toy out, that toy out so..okay, thats acceptable.

but FFS :no: his behaviour was appalling. he started screaming at me, just put his face in my face and screamed at the top of his voice, piercing screams, down my ear hole. i said to him sternly no, do NOT scream at me to which he then notched it up a few decibels and carried on screaming for the next hour :faint: I kept saying to his mum, put him on the naughty mat, which she then was doing, albeit halfheartedly, and every time he got off (which was every time she put him on) he would then come up and bash his mum :huh: She would then say 'what did you do that for?' but not return him straight away!!! Madness!!!

the second time he screamed down my ear i said to my friend can i put him on the mat this time, she was like 'do whatever you want, he obviously doesnt listen to me' to which i then felt sad about for her. so anyway i put him on the naughty mat and he scratched and hit me and bit me and i not have an angry bloody scratch down my arm!!!

Ruby (and Leila) were getting more and more upset and then Ruby started screaming back in his face, and pushing him about, saying 'stop scaring my baby sister' :lurve: Anyway, it all just went pear shaped so in the end i suggested they leave as it wasn't getting any better and now i am sitting around surveying the damage and am a bit :shock: at it all.

my friend says ruby is so well behaved compared to her LO but i think thats because i am such a disciplinarian! (sp?) when i say she sits on the naughty mat she does, even if it means i have to return her there 50 times lol. not that ihave to do or have had to but its all about consistency isn't it? i did suggest she time out in her arms, holding him, if she cant keep up the naughty mat. this was met with vagueness :sigh:

I said you need to sort it out (his behaviour, as this isn't a one off at ALL) as when he starts nursery or goes to playgroup he'll be the one that's terrorising the other kids !!

no real reason for the post, just couldn't quite believe the debacle of an afternoon's 'playing' that we've just had, and my arm is sooo sore :-( My friend rues her son's naughtiness/aggression yet how can he be taught right from wrong when his mum's not willing to see it through when she's disciplining him?

Or am i just too gun-ho as i am PERFECTLY happy/willing to discipline ruby - and leila when the time comes - and it doesn't faze me one bit, the whole naughty corner/time out/naughty step???? Dont get me wrong, i let her be loud, be messy - to a point ;-), but she knows her boundaries!

Do you find it hard to discipline your LO? What techniques do you use?

PVx

spritzer
03-05-2006, 02:39pm
He sounds terrible:no: And good on you for sticking to your guns about discipline and trying to sort him out while he was with you. I have a big thing about 'your house, your rules' and will happily let my friends tell Xander off if he does anything wrong. How else will he learn about boundaries otherwise?

He's still a bit young for real toddler taming techniques but I will happily tell him off, stop him doing stuff or remove him/it and let the tantrum kick off. I also make a fuss of the other child if he hurts anyone.

IncyWincySpider
03-05-2006, 03:59pm
I often wonder what other parents do, we don't conciously do anything like time out or naughty step but will say NO and explain why. If she is doing something unpleasant to us then we'll just walk away so she can't do it.
When one friend comes around with her little girl I'm always concious that she is disiplining her little girl a lot and I worry about what she thinks about my parenting. I don't tell mine off much but I don't notice her doing anything wrong so worry that I'm just being blind to it.

Minky
03-05-2006, 06:19pm
Feck me PV!!! :shock: Sounds like a job for House of Tiny Tearaways to me...

If the mum hasn't got the balls :laff: to do it, that child's behaviour is only going to get worse. Poor her. Poor child.

Minky

Elle Driver
03-05-2006, 07:44pm
thats the thing - ultimately its not *his* fault if he's a major pain up the behind and has behavioural problems as/when he grows up. she described him (albeit affectionately) as a little sh!t today and i felt like saying only coz you've let him become one, but i didn't of course :no:

popinjay1
03-05-2006, 09:22pm
What a nightmare! (I still can't find the smilies...)

You sound like me PV. I am almost too strict sometimes but I am too scared of Claire becoming one of those terrible toddlers we all see at toddler groups. I think I am doing an OK job as she went with friends for the day a few weeks ago and was apparently a total dream - very well behaved. I was a VPM that day!

Thats all I want really. She can lose it with me at home.. etc but so long as she knows how to behave in public I am happy.

Discipline techniques are generally time out if she persists in doing something we have asked her to stop. TBH the threat of it usually works at the moment. If she hits/pinches/bites then she goes straight to time out (currently her room but we need to change that as I don't want her to associate her room as being naughty). Distraction still works well if I think she going to loose it too.

cheeky_biscuit
03-05-2006, 09:33pm
He sounds a nightmare.
Emma has the odd strop and I just turn my back on her. If she hits someone she gets a firm no, and I'll move her away from where we're playing/other things going on.
I do find it difficult esp. if we're at someones house, if I ignore her I feel like they think I'm doing nothing, but sometimes I don't want to give her the attention IYSWIM. If Em screams at me I tend toi go the ignore route.
That LO sounds like a nightmare though!

Blonde Girl
03-05-2006, 09:42pm
Berluddy hell PV - sounds like a nightmare. Do feel really sorry for him though - at 2 he is not old enought to understand the 'bigger picture' as it were. He can't know what is acceptable or isn't if he isn't being shown/disciplined.

I do think I can be a bit lax sometimes as I am a lazy moo and choose my battles carefully i.e. standing up in high chair = not ideal, but will tolerate, slapping me or screaming is NOT OK and will result in being told off.

The discipline I am starting to use is ignoring him totally if whinging/wailing/flinging himself around, or removing him from situation/physically stopping him for things like hitting , etc.

Oh and of course the old failsafe of screeching at him like a fishwife when I get to the end of my tether...

ChelseaHarvey
03-05-2006, 09:56pm
This is how i worry alfie will turn out :no: from how he is behaving at the moment :sigh:

Nettie
04-05-2006, 09:41pm
chelsea - they all go through their testing times. I'm sure Alfie will be fine, especially if you're consistent with what you do. With some children it can take a while for behaviour to start to iron out. And, dare I say, little boys seem to be worse than little girls at testing the boundaries?

This isn't meant to excuse the behaviour in any way. Maybe the mother wasn't comfortable with using a naughty area at this point? Or is she going to try a different method?

Mind you, she should have been doing something. Personally, if either of my DS's had been that awful we'd have left before being asked to! A definite case of if you don't start behaving then we're going home!

But hopefully nursery/playgroup will have a calming effect on the boy - I know several people who say their child's behaviour improved after starting nursery.