Smear-test trauma!

[LorettaCastorini]

Oh the joys. Popped to the nurse for my smear-test yesterday - where did those 2 years go? Or is it 3 now? Anyway, as usual, she couldn't find my cervix, and and was digging around for what seemed like ages.

Eventually she found it, but only after I had proved I was a contortionist by lying on my fists (to give 'it' a tilt) or on my side.

When she was successful, she said 'Gotcha, you little bugger!'.

Oh, the shame.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a cervix that hides? I do remember a thread on here years ago, but I couldn't find it again.

Thank god it's only every few years!

[Anne]

Nope, you're not the only one. I too remember that thread and about how many of us have been humiliated by the witches that do smear tests!

[Rosa]

Mine's the same, I HATE having smears for this reason, i'm scared of them already but all that faffing about is horrible. I always go as soon as I get the letter though!

[Cat]

My letter arrived today (I'm sure it wasnt 3 years ago).

I hate it but its certainly a necessary evil.

[LucyDee]

I know this is an unpleasant experience and my partner used to dread them but they did save her life as after 2 abnormal results she was hauled into colposcopy. They found she was CIN 3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cervical_intraepithelial_neoplasia) which is the most serious form of the pre-cancer condition. My partner is also one of those that only goes when they get the letters so it's a bit sobering to imagine what could have come out of this.

[Mum to Molly]

I used to have a cervix that played hide and seek too. The solution is to ask them to use a longer spectulum (sp!), always find it first time now. Might be worth asking next time, avoids all the various postions they try and get you into!!

[1980babe]

Done mine earlier this week. Have been putting it off long enough.

Results came back yesterday.

No more rummaging until 2014 :faint:

[DillyDally]

You have my sympathies, I have the same issues :nod: However, I always think it's better than the alternative ....

[Roseyposey]

I had CIN3 too and its very very nasty. I had to have two operations and two generals in the space of two weeks, and it was an awful period of my life, and i think I'm still recovering from it. I have a smear now every 6 months and have one due now. I have a retroverted womb (please bear with me, not sure thats how you spell it) and my cervix is very hard to get to. Its uncomfortable, but deep breaths and chatting about something to the nurse helps. Also taking a couple of paracetomol beforehand.

Keep your bum down and your knees as open as you can and breath really, really deeply - thats my top tips!

[LorettaCastorini]

Phew - glad it's not just me.

I do ask them to use the longer speculum, but it still requires some rummaging around. Yak. I know it's good for me, but still. Uncomfortable but necessary.

[Roseyposey]

Is yours one of the nice new plastic ones? They are much better than the old ones that look like menacing nutcrackers.

[Maximillion]

My first ever smear test I was laying legs wide apart and the nurse pulled out a walls icecream box - opened the lid and it was full of smear testing equipment. I also have a hard to find cervix - have to relax and breath deep xx

[lazymummy]

I can top this! :oops:

I went for a smear yesterday and the nurse couldn't find my cervix-at all. To the point that I have to go back another day for a different nurse to have a go... :teehee:

[Chickpea]

I have the same issue, my cervix is to one side. The last nurse who did it suggested that the next time I have it done I ask for the longer speculum and it def helps if you sit on your hands.

[Rosa]

Oh god LM what a nightmare!

[lazymummy]

Tried the sitting on my hands and even jumping up and down (OMG :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: ). It was actually quite funny as there was a skylight in the room and they are having building work done at the health centre, so we were discussing whether or not a builder could look in...(they couldn't!).

Seriously, though, I had to have treatment a few years ago after an abnormal smear so I'm happy to go back as it needs doing.