View Full Version : How can i stop feeling angry when he goes out?
I never get to go out anymore. Mainly for the following 2 reasons...
1) all my supposed friends turned into phsycos and so i dont see them any more (yes i know its pathetic for a grown woman to have no friends)
2) everytime me and Mr.N go out, we row. I mean going OUT out not for a meal, but drinking in town.
He still goes out about twice a month and im insainly jelouse and it makes me feel angry and lonely and down. This month the 2 times were/are last sat and tonight.
How can i stop it?
nobody got any words of wisdom?
I'm guessing you wouldn't be comfortable going out by yourself?
Aww hun, does he not have any mates with nice girlfriends and you could all go out together?
hmmm, it is really tricky. I rarely go out properly without my DH because the majority of my friends live so far away it's just not practical. Having said that DH doesn't really go out much either.
Have you tried to talk to him about how it makes you feel when he goes out without you?
Do you row about the same thing each time when you go out together? If so, is that an issue you can talk to him about when you are both calm and sober?
Sorry, more questions than answers there :oops:
Are you jealous because he goes out, or jealous because you don't?
I never ever go out (without OH) apart from once every 2-3 months but that suits me fine, I don't need to be around lots of people or go out to enjoy myself, but OH goes out once a week, always has done, always will. It doesn't bother me in the slightest and I 100% enjoy my night in on my own! I encourage my OH to go out as it makes him happy to see his friends, and in turn I am happy because he is happy!
The other thing is I NEVER have gone out drinking with my OH, I learnt from bitter experience with my ex that it wasn't conducive to maintaining a happy relationship and therefore any drinking sessions he did/does (I don't drink) don't include me which is perfect. The arguments you say you have will no doubt be down to the drink talking.
Sorry to say it Valentine but I think the reason you feel jealous and down is because of the relationship itself, it just seems to be a very destructive relationship for you.
I think Chocolate Lips is right that you have to know what you would prefer to be happening. Do you want to go out with him? With your friends? or do you want him to stay in and not want to go out?
I disagree that it's always unwise to get drunk with your partner, but agree with Real Gone Kid that it's best to get issues sorted out before hand.
My DH rarely goes out because we moved and all his friends live back in our old town. But when he does I'm happy for him - he works hard all day and needs a break too. When I was a SAHM I could get out when I want - ok, albeit with P in tow but I certainly wasn't imprisoned 24/7. As a compromise I would ask for some time off at the weekend to myself.
I think, as the others have said, working out what you DO want to happen is very important. Maybe look into taking up some kind of activity where you can meet some nice people to replace the psycho friends? And then OH can look after C sometimes whle you go out and have fun.....
:higgies: god i know what you mean. me and oh are going through a bad patch, hes out right now and I swear my blood is boiling!! He only went out on friday and didnt get in till 3 am, he went out today at 12 to watch football, he rang me at 5.30 to say hes on his way home and what do we need from shop. thatwas nearly 3 bloody hours ago and still hes not in and isnt answering his phone or txt me back.
I havnt been out in ages, Im pregnant and dont really feel like it, not that he asks me to go out :cry:
just lately we dont go outtoigheter and like you we always end up arguing.
i havnt nay words of wisdom at all hu just wanted to you know that your not alone in feeling like this :cry::higgies:
I havnt been out in ages, Im pregnant and dont really feel like it, not that he asks me to go out :cry: I really remeber going through this aswell. It sucks big time doesnt it! :hug:
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