Would you ask for your child to be put in a class with a friend?

[Rosa]

One of Louis' friends mums keeps mentioning that we could ask for them to be put in to a Primary 1 class together. I'm not going to do it because a) they don't get on that well! louis is horrible when he is with this boy and b) i think it's a bit rubbish to put in this kind of request when life doesn't really work like this and I'm happy to leave it in the hands of the school. If the mum asks me outright it's going to be a bit awkward but say I'm not going to request it. It's true that they really really wind each other up!


What would you say? I am friends with her (better friends than the boys) and I don't want to make a scene.

[S-J]

Yes and I did. However, the school asked us at the summer meeting (before he started) and also they get on well, and dont wind-each other up!

[Daisy66]

In that situation, I'd probably ask for them NOT to be put together :lol:

No, it's a bit tricky if you're friends with the mum. Have you talked about how the boys don't really get on? I think I'd just say that I'll leave it for the school to sort out.

Oh, it's just one awkward scenario after another with kids, isn't it?!

[Tekkencat]

nope i wouldnt and under the circumstances you have mentioned a definate nope

[bluekat]

Lexie and her best friend (from 18 months) were put in separate classes for P1. They're both shy and before starting P1/new school (they'd been at a different school for reception and in the same class there), were joined at the hip. Her best pal is a lovely, lovely little girl and is a pleasure to have round on playdates etc. Both her mum and I asked for them to be put in the same class but this was after the class lists were issued. The set up at the school was 3 x P1 classes of 18 kids each. The school building was brand new and they were the first P1s to use it. The 3 classes had a communal play area that stretched the length of the corridor then another glass wall between it and the actual corridor so although they were in seperate classes they saw loads of each other. This was explained to us before we they started. The school did say that if they were really pining for each other they would think about joining them up again.

As it turned out the pair of them have made lots of friends in their own classes while retaining (for now :lol:) their best friend status with each other. I think if they'd been together they'd have been less inclined to make new mates. Lexie is a much more confident and outgoing girl these days. So for us, although we would have originally preferred them to be together, the best thing has been for them to be split.

[RealGoneKid]

No, I wouldn't :happyno: DD has her two best friends (one boy one girl) from nursery in her class and she seems to just play with the girl. Don't get me wrong, she loves it, but I think she would have socialised better if she hadn't had her "best friend" there.

In your circumstances, I'd be tempted to leave it to the school. Is your friend going to speak to school? If so, I think I'd speak to the school and specifically say that you are not asking for them to be put in the same class and that there are behaviour issues when they are together but that you are happy for the school to decide on classes.

[popcorn]

i wouldn't . Our School observe the children in the nursery years and work out friendship etc and then make the decision. The teachers see much more of my children during the day than i do (!) so i trust their judgement. Dd has a best friend she met in nursery at the school and up to now they have been in the same class. Ds was friends with a boy whose mum i was frineds with due to her dd and my dd being friends but ds is really not keen on the boy , They got seperate classes and ds is pleased . Sadly the othe rby is not and continually causes problems for ds at break tim as ds has other friends he wants to be with as well
P

[Oana]

No, never have as life doesn't work like that!

ETA: If the school specifically asked then I would say :nod:

[S-J]

Looks like Im in the minority then :lol: Its worked for us (well) and like Oana eta, the school asked everyone.

[Rosa]

Oh, it's just one awkward scenario after another with kids, isn't it?!

:lol: Yes and I've not spoken to another adult all week with the kids being ill so I'm going stir crazy as well :lol:

If she brings it up again I'll just say I'll leave it up to the school to decide, I don't *think* she would request if I wasn't. The teachers always say that Louis and this boy play a lot at nursery so they may well put them together but I'd rather it was their call :lol:

[scatterbrain]

No I wouldn't & unless there's a valid reason for the children to be kept together I don't think a lot of schools would take any notice tbh.

E is in a different class to her best friend & has been for 2 years. They are still best friends, play together at breaks etc and have made other friends too. I don't think being in the same classroom is particularly important.

[Lilybett]

I'd leave it to the school too tbh :nod: L didn't know anyone in her reception class in september as no one from her preschool went to her school and she has made LOADS of friends, even from the Y1's and Y2's - I'm not sure she would have done that if she'd had an existing friend with her.

[Mrs B]

I wouldn't. They change friends every 2 minutes anyway!

Can you tell the mum that you did mention it but that you have no say in the matter?That makes you look keen but allows for whatever outcome.

[Chocolate Lips]

Yes, because the school asked us.

[Riss]

No I wouldn't. The children are in three classes per year up to year 2 at our school which is then redcued to two classes per year for years 3-6. The teachers have a pretty good idea by then about friendship groups and which children do not mix particularly well so I leave it up to them. DS1 did not make any good friends until the class mix-up in year three and they have lasted through to High School and are different to the friends he has had in the earlier primary years. DS2 will go into year 3 in September and I'm not at all concerned. I think it sometimes does them good to mix with children they may not necessarily have chosen to mix with before. Also when DS1 started High School he was asked to name his 3 closest friends so that they could try to place them in the same tutor group. Ds1 ended up with none of his friends from primary school but he has made lots of new friends. Sometimes it works out for the best. I know you are talking about much younger children and often it depends a lot on the individual child.

[Rosa]

Yes I agree with that. My friends did change at high school as well and as important as it seems at the time, most people are not friends with their school friends in to adulthood.

I guess I think that he plays with this boy anyway, they come round to us and us to them already and I assume this will continue in to school since they live locally and we as mothers get on. School is an opportunity for lots of new friends too.

[Gojira]

I would. But in your case, I'd actively ask for them NOT to be put together ;-)