View Full Version : Annoyed with Parents at School re: Xmas Concert Costumes
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 09:25am
One of the Mum's caught me in the playground this morning asking me for £6 :puzzled: i was completely confuddled as i had no idea what she wanted it for.
It seems she's heard that our children's class will be playing stars in the Schools Xmas Concert and she's found some Star Costumes on the internet for £4.99 each plus £1 postage. She said that everyone HAS to have the same costume so could i give her the money asap as she's already ordered 30.
I was a bit taken aback tbh, i don't mind paying (well i've hardly got a choice now have i) but we wern't asked, she's just taken it upon herself and IMO £6 is a LOT for a costume to be worn once for 10 mins. She said if people opt out the class will look odd as they won't all be wearing the same thing :rolleyes:
Last year in Nursery they were all Angels and we made their costumes apart from about 6 people out of 30 who bought Angel Costumes from the supermarket, and IMO they stood out more than the other children because most were just wearing tshirts covered in tinsel :teehee:
I obviously can't really say no now, i'm just annoyed that its been assumed everyone will be ok with it.
Damsella
17-11-2009, 09:26am
What a bossy woman! :shock:
sparkliness
17-11-2009, 09:26am
I'd speak to the teacher, they probably have no knowledge. I absolutely hate being told I am paying for something. I'd refuse :oops:
I'd tell her no and rally round the other parents to do the same. Cheeky beggar!
jamsplat
17-11-2009, 09:27am
What a bossy woman! :shock:
WSS :shock:
That's so cheeky!! :shock:
nattylou
17-11-2009, 09:28am
I'd tell her no and rally round the other parents to do the same. Cheeky beggar!
ITA
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 09:29am
What a bossy woman! :shock:
She's on the School Association thingy majig, has a LOT to do with the School but YES is v v bossy, she organises lots of things, she's in charge of the Fete, Xmas Sale etc etc.
Most of the other parents just handed her the money this morning so i assume no one else thinks its cheeky, either that or they're all shit scared of her :lol: to be honest if i'd had the money on me i'd have handed it over there and then :lol::doh:
Bossy cow, tell her to bog off.
Part of the fun is the random homemade costumes surely.
At least you get plenty of notice though, I'll probably have to come up with a squirrel costume with 25 minutes notice again this year I suppose
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 09:34am
At least you get plenty of notice though, I'll probably have to come up with a squirrel costume with 25 minutes notice again this year I suppose
PMSL!!
See afaik we've not been informed by the teachers that they're even involved in the play, last year reception were elephants and they made their own masks, seems taking all the fun out of it for the kids if they can't help make their costume.
Oh and i've just had an email to say ALL children require black leggings and a l/s black tshirt to wear with their star costume so thats more money :hissyfit:
Most schools that my kids have been to have provided or made with the children at least some of the costume. Are you sure that parents will have to provide the whole costume?
redhed
17-11-2009, 09:58am
I think I'd pretend that I thought she was the unwilling agent of the evil school in all this. :scratchchin: This gives you an opportunity to take her aside confidentially and say what a terrible shameit is that the school had decided to have official, boughtcostumes because Lu was so looking forward to making her costume and you know so many of the other kids were too, and isn't it awfulthat the school have spoiledthe whole point of the traditional, innocent nativity, and isn't it nasty how tacky and commercialised Christmas is nowadays, but you'd thought that at least the school would be above all that. Say you're thinking of getting a playground petition together. :bwahaha: Watch her squirm.
Oh, and pay the £6. She's saved you a job, bless her. :lol:
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 10:02am
Most schools that my kids have been to have provided or made with the children at least some of the costume. Are you sure that parents will have to provide the whole costume?
I was talking with a friend about this earlier, she said at the school her kids used to go to the costumes were provided, but here you have to either make it or buy it.
AFAIK its got nothing to do with the school atm, she's just found out Reception are stars and sorted it out by herself, i imagine she's informed the Teachers that the costumes are sorted though, she's v organised like that.
Last year we had 3 days notice to make an angel costume, had to be a white shirt trimmed with GOLD tinsel and do you think ANYWHERE had GOLD tinsel, every other colour of the rainbow yes but gold NO, i ended up getting someone to pick some rather expensive sainsburys tinsel up, that cost more than the tshirt did :rolleyes:
Dunkling
17-11-2009, 10:03am
Bossy cow, tell her to bog off.
Part of the fun is the random homemade costumes surely.
Exactly what I was thinking!
And personally, I'd just have to tell her where to stick her £6 just so she failed in bossing me around.:nod:
redhed
17-11-2009, 10:05am
Totally OT, but this dimly reminds me of when I was an angel in preschool nativity. My great uncle Fred - a farmer - offered to provide some actual swan's wings for the costume. My parents had to hush him up very quickly - I was very keen, and he would have done it, too. :zombie:
Exactly what I was thinking!
And personally, I'd just have to tell her where to stick her £6 just so she failed in bossing me around.:nod:
I love seeing all the homemade costumes, they look so much better than shop bought in some ways.
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 10:07am
Totally OT, but this dimly reminds me of when I was an angel in preschool nativity. My great uncle Fred - a farmer - offered to provide some actual swan's wings for the costume. My parents had to hush him up very quickly - I was very keen, and he would have done it, too. :zombie:
I'd love to see that NOW :lol:
Lynz39
17-11-2009, 10:09am
I think if she had asked first then its different as I would be delighted if someone saved me the trauma of home makes as I am totally handless when it comes to arty/crafty stuff:oops:. BUT to take it upon herself to order for everyone is bang out of order. What a bossy cow!
What a cheeky woman! I think its much nicer to see all the children in different costumes, even better if they're homemade. Theres no way I would be able to pay £6 for one.
Rowan Tree
17-11-2009, 10:27am
Maybe she could have asked for a donation to the PTA funds or something - and have the costumes belong to the school for future use. Seems pretty pointless in each family having a costume that is worn once, whereas the school could keep them and use them year after year after year.
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 10:29am
Maybe she could have asked for a donation to the PTA funds or something - and have the costumes belong to the school for future use. Seems pretty pointless in each family having a costume that is worn once, whereas the school could keep them and use them year after year after year.
Good idea i might suggest it, but i doubt the school would fork out the money for all those costumes.
Daffodil
17-11-2009, 10:33am
Personally I'd rather pay the 6 quid than make a costume, but I am completely handless! TBH I'd be relieved that someone else had taken over the organising.
:happyno:
Er, no way. If the school want costumes, they should do it officially and above board. They may ask the school PTA to fund them and this should be done via a letter to parents on official paper.
What is there to stop this woman running off with the money? She wouldnt be the first, I assure you. I would ring the school and explain that you have been approached by Mrs .... asking for money for school play costumes. Have they done a letter as you must have missed it and leave them to sort this out. She needs stopping from her reign of terror on unsuspecting parents. There are tight rules about money and payments to school, to stop people fiddling the school out of money!
Dont pay!
My experience has been that the school provides at least part of the costumes and the parents may have to dress their child in something uniform (like black leggings/trousers and a t-shirt).
On one hand, I'd be relieved that I didn't have to organise a costume, but on the other I'd be p*ssed off at the way it had been done.
I agree with Anne that the school should have sent something home if they expected parents to pay. The assumption that all parents have £6 to spare for a costume is wrong as well.
minigirl
17-11-2009, 10:54am
A similar thing has happened here too although it sounds like it's been better handled.
10 of our LOs are going to be stars as well and yesterday one of the other mums approached me and said that she had seen star costumes in tescos, so if we all wanted to be the same she would go and buy them all, we all agreed as it's only a fiver and easier than making our own. Plus they have said the school might decide to buy them anyway and keep them for dressing up.
elderflower
17-11-2009, 02:56pm
:happyno:
Er, no way. If the school want costumes, they should do it officially and above board. They may ask the school PTA to fund them and this should be done via a letter to parents on official paper.
What is there to stop this woman running off with the money? She wouldnt be the first, I assure you. I would ring the school and explain that you have been approached by Mrs .... asking for money for school play costumes. Have they done a letter as you must have missed it and leave them to sort this out. She needs stopping from her reign of terror on unsuspecting parents. There are tight rules about money and payments to school, to stop people fiddling the school out of money!
Dont pay!
Too right. I'm buggered if I'd hand over any cash to some random parent in the school yard. Any monies given to my DDs school go in an envelope with the designated form that was handed out in class previously, and get handed back into to their form teachers. No other way. :happyno:
choccy eating monster
17-11-2009, 03:02pm
I would say no, but then I am used to being unpopular. There is no way some busybody would dictate how I spend my money - and certainly not on some old tat.
I thought part of the charm of kiddie plays was the "rustic" nature of the costumes lol! Plenty of time for matchy matchy later imo. Someone needs to get a REAL job, I think lol.
Katoid
17-11-2009, 03:08pm
I think I'd pretend that I thought she was the unwilling agent of the evil school in all this. :scratchchin: This gives you an opportunity to take her aside confidentially and say what a terrible shameit is that the school had decided to have official, boughtcostumes because Lu was so looking forward to making her costume and you know so many of the other kids were too, and isn't it awfulthat the school have spoiledthe whole point of the traditional, innocent nativity, and isn't it nasty how tacky and commercialised Christmas is nowadays, but you'd thought that at least the school would be above all that. Say you're thinking of getting a playground petition together. :bwahaha: Watch her squirm.
Oh, and pay the £6. She's saved you a job, bless her. :lol:
:clap::thumb: brilliant
Tigerpants
17-11-2009, 03:09pm
Our suggested outfits can be bought by the school for £12.50 for boys and £16.50 for girls. For one song in 3 separate performances :yeahright:
Or, we can make it ourselves
Carrington
17-11-2009, 03:20pm
As an aside, we've always had to make provide our outfits for school plays, never ever have they offered to help parents out with the cost.
Swingo
17-11-2009, 03:28pm
plus £1 postage...she's already ordered 30.
:yeahright: We once ordered two leather sofa's for £4.95 delivery :lol:
Pippin
17-11-2009, 03:32pm
Totally OT, but this dimly reminds me of when I was an angel in preschool nativity. My great uncle Fred - a farmer - offered to provide some actual swan's wings for the costume. My parents had to hush him up very quickly - I was very keen, and he would have done it, too. :zombie:
PMSL :lol:
£4.99 each plus £1 postage. She said that everyone HAS to have the same costume so could i give her the money asap as she's already ordered 30.
:brainache: the postage comes to £30 blimey! :wink: errr no doesn't add up does it. Sounds dodgy to me even if she is PTA blah blah. I reckon speak to the school and ask them for all costume buying/making efforts to be sorted officially via letter otherwise you'll have her sticking her oar in "organising" everyone all the time! :rolleyes:
I would so not pay it just because I had not been asked.
Don't pay it - let her sort the mess out.
DillyDally
17-11-2009, 05:02pm
I agree with Anne - I wouldn't go handing money to some random woman with a letter from the school etc etc.
And £30 for postage :faint: - this woman didn't even bother to negotiate a decent deal :lol:
I'd go to the school/teacher and check it out. Any request for certain clothes/costumes should come from the school, not someone in the playground.
Princess Fiona
17-11-2009, 10:25pm
:teehee::point: the Teachers sent out a letter this evening saying that they wanted the children to be involved in making their costume so can we sent them in with a black tshirt, black leggings or joggers and some silver tinsel and each give 10p so the Teachers can buy a can of glitter hairspray :thumb:
I hate to use the word as it reminds me of my Brother who is a total bum but i just wanted to point at the Mum in the playground and yell "WOUNDED MAN" :lol:
flipflop
17-11-2009, 10:35pm
:lol:
That might make her think before she tries to jump the gun next time.
Schools don't ask just one parent to be their spokesperson (regardless of whether they are on the PTA, who incidentally do not have access to decisions on curricular activities - the PTA is a fundraising organisation) :happyno: - things like this are almost always communicated to everyone via a note home.
ms sweetcheeks
17-11-2009, 10:57pm
Blimey Bossy Nora or what?
I'd probably still hand over the £6, just to save myself the hassle of having to get a costume, and also so my child wasn't like the only odd one out.
But :loco:
annie hall
17-11-2009, 11:22pm
I bet the mums who handed over the money aren't happy - or is she refunding them? Sorry, but :teehee: she should've asked teachers AND parents first before asking for money - no-one wants their child left out, so you're being basically being coerced to pay!
:teehee::point: the Teachers sent out a letter this evening saying that they wanted the children to be involved in making their costume so can we sent them in with a black tshirt, black leggings or joggers and some silver tinsel and each give 10p so the Teachers can buy a can of glitter hairspray :thumb:
I hate to use the word as it reminds me of my Brother who is a total bum but i just wanted to point at the Mum in the playground and yell "WOUNDED MAN" :lol:
DillyDally
18-11-2009, 08:22am
I'd be :teehee: :point: as well!
Loving it! What has Mrs Bossy Knickers had to say about it? Do you think one of the other mums has complained?
I feel a bit sorry for her! She probably thought she was doing something good & making sure the kids all looked the same so no fights there, the mums didn't have to worry about it, the school know the kids are all sorted & all have good costumes & as she's so involved in the school anyway she probably saw it as her role. Personally I wouldn't have liked to be told & especially by a Mum instead of the school, and I would have liked to buy / make DD's costume with her at home, but it would have ended up costing more than £6 & I know most of the mothers at DD's school would have loved to have the stress & thought taken away from them & just hand over the money. She's probably quite hurt actually & if it were me I'd be thinking that if people got involved in the school more then she wouldn't feel the need to step in so much & be seen to be taking over & bossing everyone. It's a bit bullying to point & laugh so much when she probably thought she was helping.
minigirl
18-11-2009, 10:59am
I feel a bit sorry for her! She probably thought she was doing something good & making sure the kids all looked the same so no fights there, the mums didn't have to worry about it, the school know the kids are all sorted & all have good costumes & as she's so involved in the school anyway she probably saw it as her role. Personally I wouldn't have liked to be told & especially by a Mum instead of the school, and I would have liked to buy / make DD's costume with her at home, but it would have ended up costing more than £6 & I know most of the mothers at DD's school would have loved to have the stress & thought taken away from them & just hand over the money. She's probably quite hurt actually & if it were me I'd be thinking that if people got involved in the school more then she wouldn't feel the need to step in so much & be seen to be taking over & bossing everyone. It's a bit bullying to point & laugh so much when she probably thought she was helping.
:nod: WSS
elderflower
18-11-2009, 11:08am
I feel a bit sorry for her! She probably thought she was doing something good & making sure the kids all looked the same so no fights there, the mums didn't have to worry about it, the school know the kids are all sorted & all have good costumes & as she's so involved in the school anyway she probably saw it as her role. Personally I wouldn't have liked to be told & especially by a Mum instead of the school, and I would have liked to buy / make DD's costume with her at home, but it would have ended up costing more than £6 & I know most of the mothers at DD's school would have loved to have the stress & thought taken away from them & just hand over the money. She's probably quite hurt actually & if it were me I'd be thinking that if people got involved in the school more then she wouldn't feel the need to step in so much & be seen to be taking over & bossing everyone. It's a bit bullying to point & laugh so much when she probably thought she was helping.
She should have thought about that when she chose not to go about this in a proper, official manner. You do these things by the book, or not at all.
Lizard King
18-11-2009, 11:52am
I think she's got a bloody cheek. No one spends my money for me.
Katiekipper
18-11-2009, 11:58am
She should have thought about that when she chose not to go about this in a proper, official manner. You do these things by the book, or not at all.
Yup! If she'd got the schools backing then great, but to go off half cocked like that and start taking money from parents without the teachers even knowing...bang out of order and Oppro how can a piece of silver tinsel and a white pillowcase, which Is how I've made every angel and star costume I've ever done, can cost £6? :happyno:
Though worryingly, for those parents who's kids don't have black shirts and leggings it could cost more than £6 even from Primark. Soooooooooooo glad I'm not a parent on an infant anymore!!!
Oppro how can a piece of silver tinsel and a white pillowcase, which Is how I've made every angel and star costume I've ever done, can cost £6? :happyno:
Though worryingly, for those parents who's kids don't have black shirts and leggings it could cost more than £6 even from Primark.
Well DD is an angel this year so I've not seen the prices of star outfits :lol: but I had my eye on the cutest one in either Tescos or Sainsburys (can't remember which) just in case & I'm pretty sure that was more than £6. And if I were to make it I would need to buy the blacks, then would go overboard (as always!) with glitter, sparkles, mohair & twinkles, silver thread, silver elastic blah blah knowing her Daddy he'd start trying to get all fancy with fibre optics... :rolleyes: but the blacks would cost more than £6 anyway.
Damsella
18-11-2009, 12:05pm
I don't think that the issue is the £6, as such. The issue is that this woman decided what everyone would be doing, and then wanted to boss them into doing it, and was going to be happy to spend £30 on postage! :faint:
Katiekipper
18-11-2009, 12:36pm
Well DD is an angel this year so I've not seen the prices of star outfits :lol: but I had my eye on the cutest one in either Tescos or Sainsburys (can't remember which) just in case & I'm pretty sure that was more than £6. And if I were to make it I would need to buy the blacks, then would go overboard (as always!) with glitter, sparkles, mohair & twinkles, silver thread, silver elastic blah blah knowing her Daddy he'd start trying to get all fancy with fibre optics... :rolleyes: but the blacks would cost more than £6 anyway.
Ahh, I'm more of the "cut a hole for the head out of a pillowcase, staple tinsel round the neck and bottom and team with her white ballet tights, jobs a good un" kind of Mum.
The blacks sound worryingly like something my school would just 'expect' you to have lying around at home.
Mrs Flowers
18-11-2009, 01:57pm
Interesting development! Wonder if the teachers had heard what she was doing and were peed off themselves and wanted to stop it before it went too far.
I don't think PF was actually pointing and laughing at the woman right in front of her, or that would be rather mean as she probably meant well. But I too think that she has been very bossy and jumped the gun and am happy to metaphorically point and laugh too! Hope she gets her money back, mind! I guess there's always ebay!!
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