Would you let your 3 year old have a sword? [Archive]

suemarie

20-10-2009, 01:47pm

I would as that seems to be the age for role play toys & a sword plus a dress up chest would be a great idea.

& I would allow guns too as how are you supposed to play Cowboys?
W/O getting into a debate about Guns/knives/swords all are dangerous weapons in the wrong hands.

A toy is a toy ATEOTD & I played with toy guns/swords when younger & dont see the big deal really.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 01:48pm

Swords yes no problem (but we have wooden ones natch :wink:) I don't allow guns though so call me a hypocrite.

No, I agree with you there, I have firmly stood my ground on the toy guns, and said "NO!" :happyno:

Moffgal

20-10-2009, 01:48pm

Well given that he made one at nursery the other week to play at pirates, yes!

Chocolate Lips

20-10-2009, 01:49pm

Yep, I think I would. Not sure about a gun - I probably wouldn't buy it myself but wouldn't be outraged if someone else did. They have water pistols and the like already and it's not dissimilar. Regardless Isabel just shoots people with her fingers like a gun anyway, damn nursery!

Booh

20-10-2009, 01:49pm

No - as he would be a danger to himself and others (DS is 3)

pooch

20-10-2009, 01:52pm

Yes, we have a hundred thousand swords. The ones he likes best are the ones from Tesco which are made out of foam. He likes to be a musketeer.

No way am I having wooden ones. As nice as they look he could do some serious damage with those!!

I don't particluarly like guns but he has a couple he received as presents. One is like the pirate of the caribbean one which I think its fine really.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 01:55pm

Ok, thanks I wanted to to see if I was the worlds most irresponsible mother:brainache:

I took Theo to the post office this morning and to the pound shop, and he could chose 1 thing.

He chose a plastic sword, and as we were doing a few more errands, he asked if he could open it.

So he was walking along the road with the sword in his hand.

All of a sudden a man stops us from behind and says "Hi, I hope you don't mind, I'd like to say something to you- I have children myself, so I hope you don't mind" :loco:

(I honestly thought he was going to say how sweet Theo was, and I was already feeling creeped out tbh:doh::lol:)

Anyway - he then goes into one long rant about how do can I let my little child carry a thing like that, to promote violence, when the world is in the state it is in, and he said "I have mixed race kids myself (though not sure on that one)- and by letting him carry that, you're just going to make peoples opinion of him even worse, people will already see him in a different light to other kids, as he is mixed race"

:faint:

I was flabbergasted, and opened my mouth but couldn't find the words- well I did say something about him not being seen in ANY different light - that was obvioulsy HIS opinion,
and then he apologied :yeahright: for sharing his opinion, and I just walked off giving him a dirty look..

Is that a bit mad or what?? :yeahright::loco:

Abbie

20-10-2009, 01:55pm

Yes but they hit each other with them so they get taken away again.

They've had cap guns before - we were on holiday and went to a cowboy themed event so they had a gun and a hat each

ETA -

Is that a bit mad or what?? :yeahright::loco:

Yes. Very

Blonde Girl

20-10-2009, 01:55pm

Swords yes no problem (but we have wooden ones natch :wink:) I don't allow guns though so call me a hypocrite.

WSS - apart from the swords being wooden - feck that, they would hurt :lol: Dan had a foam pirate sword when he was 3 and a bit and he totally loved it. Lots of swashbuckling :lol:

He is now 5 1/2 and I still wouldn't buy him a gun, I imagine at some point soon he may get one as a present, but I would rather not be the one that got it.

Mrs Cheeso

20-10-2009, 01:56pm

:no: I've seen Harry play with toy swords at friends houses & they always start out playing nicely but it usually end up in a fight with someone getting hurt :rolleyes:.

Harry can be a bit boisterous at the best of times so I'm very careful about the toys he has, stories he reads & TV he watches (although feck me that's hard as even something as innocent as Toy Story prompted H to go round fighting "like Buzz & Woody :rolleyes:") . So swords, guns, lazers, Ben 10, Power Rangers etc are a big no for me at home but I have no problem with him playing at friends as long as it doesn't get out of control.
HTH
MrsCx

eta totally OTT and none of his business :shock:

suemarie

20-10-2009, 01:56pm

Completely mad IMO, how old was this man??

ETA: the swords in my opinion & experience hurt the Guns dont as they are just pointed at each other.

I only have a problem with water pistols/super soakers...now they are dangerous esp to the eyes...not that you would use them this time of the year

1980babe

20-10-2009, 01:57pm

A sword I have no problem with.

Guns no. Water pistols yes.

Im assuming someone has issues with what its replicating, but you can get in a humph about a lot of things so its just not worth it. Children learn through play, and role play is a very important activity.

Angel

20-10-2009, 01:58pm

Swords yes, guns no.

Alex had one when he was four but he knew if he messed around with it then it got taken away.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 01:58pm

Completely mad IMO, how old was this man??

He was 30-35.

He was jewish, which is why I find it hard believing he had mixed race kids, though maybe he does, but even so, the whole thing about people's view on mixed race children- got to be HIS views, and he wanted to share them with me:lol::thumb::brainache:

1980babe

20-10-2009, 01:58pm

I was flabbergasted, and opened my mouth but couldn't find the words- well I did say something about him not being seen in ANY different light - that was obvioulsy HIS opinion,
and then he apologied :yeahright: for sharing his opinion, and I just walked off giving him a dirty look..

Is that a bit mad or what?? :yeahright::loco:

You are having a right old week arent you :yeahright:

Tekkencat

20-10-2009, 01:59pm

OMG Mrs SC I cant beleive someone stopped you and said that FFS !!!!!!

We havent had swords yet but dont see the issue (but we do have lightsabres - far more violent imo :nod:) and they usually end up playing with them for 10 minutes before one of them (the boys that is) gets whollopped on the head/leg/poked in the eys (delete as appropriate for that play sesh)

Mad Madam Mim

20-10-2009, 01:59pm

I've never bought a sword. My children use sticks or the tracks fromt he Thomas Train set. If you do't buy them they'll make their own anyway :lol:

eta: I'd find what that man said to you quite intrusive and rude, I'm not sure why people feel so desperate to share their parenting advice with you that they stop you on the street. I've had it happen to me a couple of times - though not on this issue - and it never fails to piss me off royally.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 02:01pm

You are having a right old week arent you :yeahright:

Tell me about it, this is what happens when I take a week off work:lol::doh::no::brainache:

S-J

20-10-2009, 02:04pm

Im in the minority then because no I wouldnt buy my son a sword.

However, I wouldnt stop you in the street to comment on it like the man did!

irislili

20-10-2009, 02:07pm

I wouldnt buy my son a sword - he'd cause havoc with it and he doesnt use other things to use as a pretend sword either :shrug:

BUT I wouldnt ever dream of saying anything to mothers who do let their kids have them.

allana

20-10-2009, 02:08pm

I think it depends on the child, personally.

Lucas has graduated from cardboard tubes to two swords (unfortunately they're the sort that make annoying noises) which he loves and is pretty sensible with.

We have plenty of games of pirates and Star Wars with them :)

I wouldn't have a problem with him having a toy gun, but I wouldn't let him run around in public with one. I had toy guns and was a member of a gun club for a few years, and I haven't turned into a murderer so I have no reason to think that they'll have a bad effect on him!

parkejm

20-10-2009, 02:13pm

I got DH and Oscar a pair of foam swords when Oscar was just walking and they've had lots of battles together.

Candlelight

20-10-2009, 02:15pm

Originally Posted by noo noo
Swords yes no problem (but we have wooden ones natch ) I don't allow guns though so call me a hypocrite.
I agree. I never allow guns but he has a sword for his knights costume

On the subject of what that chap said to you, well my sister has comments like that (she has 2 mixed race boys - you've prob seen them on my facebook). A few weeks back, they went to the library and were running wild (as a 2 and 3 year old do) and an old lady said
"It's hard keeping that kind of child under control isn't it!!" My sister enquired what she meant by 'that kind' and the woman said "Coloured children, they do run a bit wild I always find".
She wasn't saying it in a viscous way, but the sheer ignorance astounded my sister and she was just left gobsmacked and didn't comment...then aftwerwards she wishes she had. I am absolutely dumbfounded by the attitudes of people, I really am

frenchpolish

20-10-2009, 02:16pm

I wouldn't no. My son doesn't seem to need much encouragement to be "violent".

Its hard to teach him that "fighting" at school is wrong and then give him a sword to play with. He is no longer allowed to play "fruit slicing" on the Wii either.

But that is my son, if he was more "sensible" I would have no problem.

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 02:20pm

Yes. Seriously though, what is the problem? :teehee:

Oppro

20-10-2009, 02:20pm

No chance.

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 02:21pm

You are having a right old week arent you :yeahright:

Just read page two and crikey o'reilly, what she said! :yeahright:

donna-j

20-10-2009, 02:21pm

I'd rather he had a toy gun tbh as he can't whack anyone with it.

I tried the no gun thing. He used duplo, a banana, shoes etc instead.

A water pistol is just the same IMO. It is still a gun.

suemarie

20-10-2009, 02:22pm

On the subject of what that chap said to you, well my sister has comments like that (she has 2 mixed race boys - you've prob seen them on my facebook). A few weeks back, they went to the library and were running wild (as a 2 and 3 year old do) and an old lady said
"It's hard keeping that kind of child under control isn't it!!" My sister enquired what she meant by 'that kind' and the woman said "Coloured children, they do run a bit wild I always find".
She wasn't saying it in a viscous way, but the sheer ignorance astounded my sister and she was just left gobsmacked and didn't comment...then aftwerwards she wishes she had. I am absolutely dumbfounded by the attitudes of people, I really am

That is shocking :shock: & you're right it is sheer ignorance.

scatterbrain

20-10-2009, 02:23pm

Yes to swords, no to guns. I do prefer the foam ones to the plastic ones, though.

Any smacking over the head incidents & it would be confiscated, though.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 02:27pm

One Sock

20-10-2009, 02:27pm

Yeah, I guess so.

What a nut nut that man was. Not like you are getting Theo to carry round a kitchen knife and 'pretend' mug people is it!!

Candlelight

20-10-2009, 02:31pm

Oh goodness Catpaws!! Some people FFS!
This man was quite young, but he could have been mad, I don't know!
I have never in 3.5 years endured any comments about DS's mixed heritage, his skin colour- nada, no-one's ever said anything, so I was quite shocked!
That's really good to hear and how it should be:nod: I am thinking that is because London is more cosmopolitan compared to the small Suffolk place we're from....my sister has had some very bad comments:cry:

Mad Madam Mim

20-10-2009, 02:32pm

Any smacking over the head incidents & it would be confiscated, though.

Well quite. Thats what happens here (with the train track)

Btw I haen't actually trained my sons to use sword substitutes in case anyone is wondering:yeahright: . They do actually learn things from playing with others as well. :smile:

Catpaws I am shocked at the level of ignorance :no:

Damsella

20-10-2009, 02:34pm

DD's had one since she was about three, she got it with a pirate outfit!

Velvet Chain

20-10-2009, 02:35pm

Mrs SC you are definately having a strange week - what a weird guy!!

As for swords - no problems here, or guns for that matter. A toy is a toy.

VC

Damsella

20-10-2009, 02:36pm

Anyway - he then goes into one long rant about how do can I let my little child carry a thing like that, to promote violence, when the world is in the state it is in, and he said "I have mixed race kids myself (though not sure on that one)- and by letting him carry that, you're just going to make peoples opinion of him even worse, people will already see him in a different light to other kids, as he is mixed race"

You should have run him through with Theo's sword! :voodoo:

dustbin

20-10-2009, 02:37pm

F has a sword but to be honest he was given it from one of his Grannies and I wasn't mad keen on the idea but thought it wasn't worth making a thing over. It is a viking sword ad he has a hat to go with it. But he also loves pirates! Guns, defo wouldn't be happy about. But then I can see why others don't think a big issue should be made of it. But then I don't like anything with violence in it or the idea of 'baddies' and try and make out everyone is good in the end. We were reading Peter Pan in the dental surgery this morning and I wasn't keen on Captain Hook being the bad guy! I feel like I am corrupting him!

Fawkes

20-10-2009, 02:57pm

Of course.

I had a cap gun aged 4, :smile: I don't see the problem.

WoollyNewty

20-10-2009, 02:57pm

Theoretically yes but Alex has never shown any interest in swords or other 'toys of violence' :teehee:.

Having said that, despite never having watched so much as a cowboy or pirate film, I will never forget the day he was at a friend's house where there is a large (for that read freakin' HUGE) array of replica weaponry and without so much a hint from anyone, he picked a plastic machine gun, took it to the front door, poked it out the letter box and started shouting 'KILL! KILL! KILL!'.

I nearly choked on my custard cream.

A moment later the novelty had worn off and he was back to building electricity sub-stations out of Lego :lol:.

They are all different though - his brother picks up CARS and uses them to make 'bang bang' noises and then 'explodes' them - and I have NO idea where he got that from!!

clowe74

20-10-2009, 02:59pm

My boys had guns and swords when they were younger. If they didnt have one they made it out of sticks, lego, hoover pipe anything they could get their hands on.
They are now 10 and 12 and do not show any signs of wanting to be mass murderers on a rampage with machine guns:happyno:

Elektra

20-10-2009, 03:22pm

Em has a lightsaber, only geektastic weapons are permitted in our house:geek:

Squeaker

20-10-2009, 03:37pm

Alex has a foam sword (somewhere) that he used to charge around the house brandishing whenever we watched Boogie Beebies 'Brave Prince'. I personally wouldn't give him a wooden or plastic one because he's dangerous when it comes to wafting things around so that would be my issue with them, not the violence thing. If it was a pretend pocket knife I'd have more of a problem.

Roo

20-10-2009, 04:15pm

Only one of those foam ones - Adam'd take his own eye out (or someone else's!) otherwise - and obviously I'd have to buy two, one for each of them, so it'd probably be rather vicious if they were any harder than foam!!

Jubjub

20-10-2009, 04:29pm

Yes, William got his when he was 3, or possibly not quite 3.

It's mainly used for fishing toys out from under the sofa/bed/TV unit.

Ruby

20-10-2009, 04:35pm

I am going to sail against the tide and say no.

There is no way I would arm my eldest son as my youngest son would be bound to suffer. Son No.1 is just not the type of child to be trusted with a weapon so there's no way I'm encouraging it. And there isn't much difference between a knife and a gun.

With regards to the mixed race thing - the man was mad, clearly, but I *think* I see what he was driving at. My friend has two mixed race boys and people do make assumptions about them (and her). I know she gets very stressed about not stereotyping and won't allow them to wear 'little tearaway' type t-shirts. But I am sure Mrs S has thought about all of those things without a randomer in the street offering the 'benefit' of his experience.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 04:55pm

DS is a very sensible boy, so don't go around whacking anyone with his sword, and when the man approcahed, DS was walking along, holding my hand- as he usually does when we're out.

But regardless, even before he got the sword, he'd make "shooters" out of Lego and swords out of wooden sticks.

I doubt very much he will turn into some sort of criminal gangster hoody type of yoof who goes round whacking people over the head with swords:loco:
- it just wont happen (she says crossing her fingers:lol:)

*kate*

20-10-2009, 05:00pm

:no: I wouldn't let my kids have any replica weapons. Like others have said, they make their own anyway, and that's fine, but there's no way I'm contributing to that (actually my DS never pretended to have weapons anyway but he used to be fairly quiet and timid and preferred cars and lego).

Maybe this bloke thought he was "helping" in the same way old ladies offer sweets while your toddler has a tantrum.

BabyLuvsMe

20-10-2009, 05:01pm

Yes, I got him a Feather Sword, like Captain Feathersword :D It was more of a fuzzy stuffed toy than feathers and it talked. "oh oh that tickles"

jamsplat

20-10-2009, 05:02pm

well OK she's a girl but my main objection to swords is the potential for someone to get seriously hurt because she doesn't pay attention to where she is waving things. The number of times shes managed to hit someone over the head with her toy broom or mop in unbelieveable especially considering I am endlessly saying 'mop/sweep the floor, not the air!' and you can't really say that swords belong on the floor in the same way :lol:

As for guns, well I don't like gun play but living in an area where a significant majority of the households have at least one parent (in our case DH) who hunts (mainly elk and deer) guns are absolutely part of the kids sphere of knowledge but the rule is clear (home and kindergarten) you don't aim at people so war games are out but the kids do a lot of pretend stalking.

As for the comments about mixed race kids, I'm appalled that people can think and say things like that :shock:

Monkey Chops

20-10-2009, 05:06pm

Yes, I'd let him have it. I seem to be a very laid back/lazy :teehee: mummy, it never occurs to me to worry about most stuff until I read a thread on here. What an odd man though, Mrs S.

redhed

20-10-2009, 05:07pm

Yeeess... with instructions. Practical ones along the lines of The Instructions For Sticks (which basically say that sticks that go anywhere near anyone's eyes get confiscated) Plus theoretical ones about Pretend Hurting and Pretend Killing, as opposed to actually killing people, and the importance of remembering the difference. If she can hold those two things in her head, I'm not so bothered.

Actually, I wish DD2 did want a pretend sword, she could use it to cut the heads off the endless procession of fecking babies. :rolleyes:

Em has a lightsaber, only geektastic weapons are permitted in our house:geek:

:yeahright: (ykwim!)

Bluebabe75

20-10-2009, 05:10pm

I've bought Matthew a foam pirate sword for his birthday on Saturday - we got him a pirate outfit and you can't be a proper pirate without a sword :happyno:

I wouldn't buy him a plastic one yet - but only because he bashes us enough with plastic toys as it is! I think Theo is probably more sensible :nod:

Can't believe what the man said to you though :shock:

*kate*

20-10-2009, 05:14pm

I've bought Matthew a foam pirate sword for his birthday on Saturday - we got him a pirate outfit and you can't be a proper pirate without a sword :happyno:On pirate day my kids always had a parrot on their shoulder and a hook for a hand :laff:

We do have a lightsabre :nod: I suppose that counts as a weapon!

Bluebabe75

20-10-2009, 05:16pm

On pirate day my kids always had a parrot on their shoulder and a hook for a hand :laff:

I think the sword came with a hook - M is irrationally scared of parrots though :lol:

ditab

20-10-2009, 05:16pm

I'd let him have a foam pirate sword for role play stuff. But not a wood or plastic one :happyno: And, tbh, I probably wouldn't let him walk along the street with one. He does enough damage with the random sticks he manages to acquire :zombie::lol:

I haven't really thought about guns, though. My gut reaction is no, but then if one came with a cowboy outfit, I'd let him play with it.

He's a gentle soul, though - and really isn't into guns, swords etc.

I find it weird what people feel able to say to strangers on the street, though :shock: it's best to just ignore them. Their issues, not yours.

Hellina

20-10-2009, 05:25pm

they have both had plastic swords, since i have had a few decorative ones on the wall myself i cannot really complain. I don't have them anymore but am always on the lookout for my holy grail Katana!

Guns are another story for very personal reasons, i grew up in Northern Ireland in the 70's/80's and saw far too many funerals to ever consider a replica of a gun to be a toy.
We never had them because we were frightened that they might be mistaken for the real thing by the wrong person!

Gerbera

20-10-2009, 05:26pm

No as they are quite dangerous & my eldest 2 had one each & the amount of times they would hit each other & me with them was astounding & painful.

Lilacgirl

20-10-2009, 05:35pm

We don't have any at home but Zach does play with them at the childminders. He's not a violent child and it doesn't seem to have had a negative effect on him from that angle.
However the one thing I don't like though is the language that comes with it (I guess from playing with the older children). He was running around with a stick shouting "DIE" at me which I didn't like - I know he is just repeating it but I did tell him not to say it.

Mad Madam Mim

20-10-2009, 05:35pm

Well after I'd posted on here about the man's comments as I was going into my house after picking D up from school my neighbour helpfully told me I should train my children by beating them with sticks and I should make a better job of bringing them up. So it must be something in the air inspiring nosey, nasty ****ers.

Peridot

20-10-2009, 05:37pm

I've said yes but would probably only buy a foam one - he is dangerous enough with his plasic golf set :zombie:.
Thomas loves playing with the foam ones at legoland!

lazybones

20-10-2009, 05:37pm

yes :nod: owen has 2.

Peridot

20-10-2009, 06:10pm

Oh my lordie.... have just read page 2 :brainache::shock::loco::faint:
I can't believe you were spoken to like that - unbelievable!

Pippin

20-10-2009, 06:51pm

Joshua had a foam sword as he went to a pirate event a few months ago. He was ok with it just thne baby kept trying to bite chunks out of it.

No problems with water pistols either, he can't use them very well so I always get the better out of him :oops: :teehee:

WeeBird

20-10-2009, 07:08pm

My kids (and DH) have the tesco foam swords as well as a wide variety of guns, waterpistols, lightsabres, a rifle, a sawn off shotgun and some super soakers.

They both love shouting "en guarde" and fencing as well as being pirates, cowboys, clone troopers and highwaymen. I remember doing exactly the same thing when I was a kid and really don't see the harm in it.

katkinn

20-10-2009, 07:14pm

Out of interest - those who said you wouldn't allow a gun. How do you dress up as a cowboy without a gun? :scratchchin:

Of course the alternative is not to dress up as a cowboy :wink: but my kids adore dressing up and a cowboy is pretty standard fare?

I went with the gun, thinking it was the safer option than a lassoo :faint:

re the sword - yes.

flipflop

20-10-2009, 07:40pm

Yes, J has a sword. A wooden replica of a broadsword bought from an English Heritage castle, of course :wink:.

And a plastic pistol bought as part of a cowboy dressing up set, and a fearsome looking dagger thing that my mum picked up in a charity shop. Possibly a Power Rangers item, or similar.

He likes the sword, but isn't too bothered about the gun/dagger. He and E occasionally use wooden hobby horses (the ones that are a horse's head on a broomstick) as weapons against each other.

bluekat

20-10-2009, 07:56pm

popinjay1

20-10-2009, 08:16pm

I said yes and I have no problem with toy guns either. But not knowing quite how the boys will be when they are older I may change my mind if they are particularly physical with each other. The girls have never asked for swords/guns...etc but if they did (in relation to an outfit) I would have no problem.

I seriously cannot believe there are people out there who would say stuff like that to you Mrs SC. And also Catpaws sister.

katkinn

20-10-2009, 08:19pm

I said yes and I have no problem with toy guns either. But not knowing quite how the boys will be when they are older I may change my mind if they are particularly physical with each other. .

yes, but the thing is, if they're really physical boys, they'll just use a recorder/hobby horse (yes FF we have that as a weapon as well) basically anything they can get their hands on to use as a weapon :shrug:

At least with a gun he doesn't actually smack someone with it, whereas you've no idea how much a recorder round the thigh fecking stings :hissyfit:

Ruby

20-10-2009, 08:21pm

Out of interest - those who said you wouldn't allow a gun. How do you dress up as a cowboy without a gun? :scratchchin:
Cowboys ride horses. :teacher: Besides, my children haven't ever actually seen a western so their understanding of cowboys comes from Cath Kidston. :lol:

katkinn

20-10-2009, 08:23pm

Cowboys ride horses. :teacher: Besides, my children haven't ever actually seen a western so their understanding of cowboys comes from Cath Kidston. :lol:

Read above post :wink: Hobby horse as sword = v dangerous (chez moi with junior John Wayne on coke) Gun = a fair amount of noise but no bruises :grin:

Ruby

20-10-2009, 08:27pm

katkinn

20-10-2009, 08:29pm

I caught my son assaulting his brother with a fairy wand the other day...

nuff said. They'll whack 7 shades of shit out of each other with anything they can get their hands on if they're inclined.

My 14 month old can do serious damage (although DH is thrilled with his over-arm apparently :rolleyes:) with a matchbox car.

katkinn

20-10-2009, 08:30pm

Badgirl

20-10-2009, 08:33pm

Nathan has 2 swords and a plastic gun that came with a cowboy outfit. Dont see any problem personally
DD2 has spent the last 2 years handling and shooting real guns, and has been trained to use them properly

redhed

20-10-2009, 08:34pm

They ought to make more rubber guns, though. Just in case...

Ladyluck

20-10-2009, 08:35pm

Yes he has got one.

I don't have a problem with him having a toy gun either.

*Marti*

20-10-2009, 08:35pm

no, never, or a gun. I detest toys like that.

Chell

20-10-2009, 08:36pm

Yeeess... with instructions. Practical ones along the lines of The Instructions For Sticks (which basically say that sticks that go anywhere near anyone's eyes get confiscated) Plus theoretical ones about Pretend Hurting and Pretend Killing, as opposed to actually killing people, and the importance of remembering the difference. If she can hold those two things in her head, I'm not so bothered.

WSS, DS got a sword (age 6) on the condition that I didn't hear him talking about killing people. In actual fact all he uses it for is chopping at bushes in the garden.

Oppro

20-10-2009, 08:39pm

Out of interest - those who said you wouldn't allow a gun. How do you dress up as a cowboy without a gun? :scratchchin:

No. I do not like children to dress up as anything violent & that includes pirates, cowboys, knights, American cops with guns, British police with trunchions (sp?) or anything like that at all. DD has plenty of dress up stuff, some girly, lots unisex, but it's all Drs, animals, various different jobs, fantasy characters but nothing violent at all. No guns, swords, knives, clubs, daggers, whips, lightsabres, rayguns etc etc. I see absolutely no need whatsoever to introduce violence to one so young. She's never seen death on TV (we fastforward those scenes in any films) & we've never talked about it till today (wrt a flower). Any dead characters she has seen have been explained as sleeping. I see the kids in my classes & at playgroups who know far too much about violence & violent games at this age, usually through older brothers, & I think it's completely inappropriate & downright dangerous when they whack someone else in roleplay. I don't see it as fun or just part of games at all at this age. I think there are very very few years when children can be completely innocent & I see no need whatsoever to introduce her to the darker side of human nature a second earlier than necessary & it certainly hasn't been necessary yet.

Ducks bullets.

lobby

20-10-2009, 08:44pm

No. The idea of 'toy' weapons of violence is ludicrous to me. I don't see such items as being suitable playthings.

Frosta

20-10-2009, 08:59pm

Yes I would allow it and yes I would allow a toy gun. My DS1 loves playing pirates and cowboys.

I dont allow being silly with them, ie, hurting other people or pretending to stab/shoot someone like he's heading for an ASBO, if that happens they get confiscated.

Lexie B

20-10-2009, 09:01pm

Yes to a sword and yes to a gun.

Totally respect why others wouldn't though - I just don't have an "issue" with it as such :shrug:

eta: just read Oppro's post........am interested as to how on earth would you attempt to explain someone close to her passing away suddenly then, if she has no idea what death is??

Genuinely interested.....no bullets being fired! :wink:

Frosta

20-10-2009, 09:04pm

No. I do not like children to dress up as anything violent & that includes pirates, cowboys, knights, American cops with guns, British police with trunchions (sp?) or anything like that at all. DD has plenty of dress up stuff, some girly, lots unisex, but it's all Drs, animals, various different jobs, fantasy characters but nothing violent at all. No guns, swords, knives, clubs, daggers, whips, lightsabres, rayguns etc etc. I see absolutely no need whatsoever to introduce violence to one so young. She's never seen death on TV (we fastforward those scenes in any films) & we've never talked about it till today (wrt a flower). Any dead characters she has seen have been explained as sleeping. I see the kids in my classes & at playgroups who know far too much about violence & violent games at this age, usually through older brothers, & I think it's completely inappropriate & downright dangerous when they whack someone else in roleplay. I don't see it as fun or just part of games at all at this age. I think there are very very few years when children can be completely innocent & I see no need whatsoever to introduce her to the darker side of human nature a second earlier than necessary & it certainly hasn't been necessary yet.

Ducks bullets.

Do you not think your daughter is in for one hell of a shock when she does see a death on the TV or suchlike?

My DS1, now just 4, has seen death scenes on TV and does ask questions. He's not phased by my answers and he's certainly not going to be in prison for stabbing someone with his toy sword when he's 15. It's just a part of life. A bad one but a part of life all the same. It's my job to teach him it's wrong, not to shelter him from everything bad so he's scared shitless of it in the future.

BonnieTyler

20-10-2009, 09:05pm

Yes, both my dds have plastic swords (aged 6 and 3). They also have guns too.

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:09pm

eta: just read Oppro's post........am interested as to how on earth would you attempt to explain someone close to her passing away suddenly then, if she has no idea what death is??

Genuinely interested.....

Up to now she's not really noticed if someone has disappeared from her life. I'm sure she'll start to notice soon if people leave or die. I'm presuming the cat will be the first to go so I'll be able to explain it then, but if it's a person then I'll have to use that event to explain it. But if it's just not around I'm not going to introduce it just in case someone dies soon! People might not die for another 5 years! I'd rather introduce it naturally through observing nature, plants, animals etc, not war games, TV & toys.

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:11pm

Do you not think your daughter is in for one hell of a shock when she does see a death on the TV or suchlike?

She's 3! When on earth would she see death on TV?? It's not like I let her watch News At 10! I don't think death tends to creep in to Milkshake & CBeeBies much!

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:12pm

It's not like I let her watch News At 10! I don't think death tends to creep in to Milkshake & CBeeBies much!

:lol:

redhed

20-10-2009, 09:13pm

I think it's important to see it as 2 different things. The Death Thing and The Violence Thing. Violence (the real stuff) is unequivocally A Bad Thing and it would be awful if your kids were exposed to it in real life and so I can see the argument that roleplaying violence is something you'd want to delay for your child for a whole host of reasons. Don't think it applies to DD2 (who anyway is in a mostly-boy class at nursery and has wanted to be a Power Anjer for about a year now, largely to beat seven bells out of the rest of them) but can see the other side too, particularly for a different child in a different situation.

Death is another matter. Stuff dies. People die. Dogs, cats, hamsters (famously, even reliably), cherished tomato plants. Ants if you tread on them. Chicken for dinner. OK, killing people comes under the heading of violence. But death isn't always a bad thing and it's something that is happening all around us, every day, whether you put a name to it or not. I can't see awareness of the natural phenomenon of death as a loss of innocence. A loss of ignorance, maybe, but that's not the same thing.

I must admit I'm not comfortable talking to DD2 about violent death. She's OK with the idea of pretend death on the TV or computer games and in her mind it's very much like pretending to be a mouse or a princess - she's not actually a mouse. The chap on the computer game ... well, he's a cartoon and even the cartoon is only pretending to be dead. I haven't yet raised the possibility that real people sometimes kill other real people and I'm not sure 3 is old enough for getting your head round that.

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:14pm

:bow: Red, totally agree. And 3 is imo, definitely too young. As is (nearly) 6 - my eldest DD.

Frosta

20-10-2009, 09:19pm

She's 3! When on earth would she see death on TV?? It's not like I let her watch News At 10! I don't think death tends to creep in to Milkshake & CBeeBies much!

She may be 3 now but she wont be 3 all her life, was the point I was getting at. :rolleyes:

My son, 4, has seen movies where the dog or cat dies etc. It's not that odd to let a child watch a film. I'm not talking about letting them watch The Exorcist!!!

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:21pm

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:22pm

She may be 3 now but she wont be 3 all her life, was the point I was getting at. :rolleyes:

As as I've said plenty of times :rolleyes: I will introduce it when it comes up, not a moment earlier or unnecessarily, and the thread is about a 3 year old.

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:24pm

Has she not asked about meat and where it comes from yet? I guess maybe DD1 wouldn't be so clued up on all things like that if it wasn't for having an older sibling in the house that asks whether or not the animal on her plate was once 'running around in a field' (or whatever) !!

Cymber

20-10-2009, 09:28pm

:zombie:

I think there's a village missing an idiot somewhere.

What is the difference between a mixed race child playing with a sword and a child who isn't mixed race? :puzzled:.

BKx

Because the mixed race kid (being 'partly' black) is more likely to commit a knife crime when he's older.

So MrsSC shouldn't be allowing her child to play with a plastic sword, because it just reconfirms that fact.

Ignorance is a very nice polite way of saying racism in this case.

redhed

20-10-2009, 09:30pm

Totally agree with you Red! However if she's never paid any attention to dead bugs, hasn't twigged that chicken we eat is the chicken she feeds at the farm & hasn't yet had a pet die, I'm not going to walk along the garden saying "Ooh look there's a dead spider!" & launch into a lesson on death. I'll deal with it when it comes up, but it's not come up yet so I'm not going to force it. Especially not for 'entertainment'.

I do. :oops: Not for "entertainment", no. And of course I don't force it. But I guess because my mum was a biology teacher and I find the whole food-chain, cycle-of-nature aspect fascinating. More than fascinating, essential, putting you in touch with the universe. Man. (Sorry, having an elderly hippy moment there :oops: ) We have a few "no, woodlice aren't creepy, they're a good thing because they eat the dead leaves and trees and stuff and otherwise we'd be digging our way out of the house every morning" conversations, and sometimes that runs to "yes of course chicken used to be A Chicken, why else is it called that?" and occasionally "OK, this is the leg bit of the chicken. Can you feel the bones in your leg? Well, this is the same bone as that bone there. This is what your bones look like on the inside. Isn't that interesting?"

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:34pm

:lol:

Acyually I did the bone thing. Her Dad & I have both broken bones this year so I explained a fair bit of anatomy over various dinners then! She's still not twigged though that meat was once alive. Maybe she's just in denial! :lol:

Lexie B

20-10-2009, 09:35pm

Because the mixed race kid (being 'partly' black) is more likely to commit a knife crime when he's older.

So MrsSC shouldn't be allowing her child to play with a plastic sword, because it just reconfirms that fact.

Ignorance is a very nice polite way of saying racism in this case.

???

Totally missed this.

WTF is this all about??! :faint:

Damsella

20-10-2009, 09:36pm

I never mentioned Death to DD, but they talked about it during her Reception year (so she was 4 or just 5) which led to lots of questions and discussions.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 09:40pm

???

Totally missed this.

WTF is this all about??! :faint:

Erm me too :yeahright::huh:

Anyway, Oppro - so when you eat chicken do you not call it chicken?

Theo is fully aware we eat the chickens that are the same feathered things that run around on farms, and that we eat the eggs from them.

And that his granddad is dead, but he is in heaven watching us- Theo is at peace with this knowledge.
And now Granny's cat has also died and gone to join Grandpa in heaven.

He knows when we get old- verrrry old, we all die..

He does know some people commit meaningless killings of course, but life and death has been fully explanined to him, and it's not done any harm, it has satisfied his curiosity!

He knows a bee on the floor is dead, and that if you step on a spider it's dead.. Has none of that ever happened?

Anyway... Not saying anyone is going to kill anyone with a toy sword btw:lol:

WoollyNewty

20-10-2009, 09:41pm

Red - you sound like my mum, in the best possible way :lol:. We had a lot of hamsters - so a lot of death at a young age. I remember asking my mum about dying and her saying it was all marvelous (well I'm paraphrasing slightly.....:wink:) because you would go back to the soil and if people didn't die then the earth would run out of nutrients and everyone would die as there would be no food...... Anyway the essence of her way of thinking has lived on :lol:.

Seriously though - some kids just pick up on death as a HUGE fascination very young and really do have quite a deep understanding. Alex is 5 now and really hasn't cottoned on to it much but his best friend (who is a girl) knew loads about it at 3.5 and it all stemmed from her over-hearing that road safety advert on someone's radio where a little girl says 'if you hit me at 40, I'll die.....'. She is a very very intelligent and curious little girl and she just questioned and questioned and linked it all together in her own toddler way.

She used to say things like 'if you die mummy, it will be Ok because I will kill myself so that I can be with you'.....:brainache:. It seriously wasn't anything my friend had done - it was just her putting bits together in her mind.

As I said she's now 5 and her latest fascination is graveyards.....there is one next to her school and boy oh boy does THAT provoke a lot of questions (every single morning!) :lol:.

Alex isn't quite so advanced - tricky questions over Tesco's fish counter and a live lobster he saw at the market are his main 'talking points about death' :lol:.

Cymber

20-10-2009, 09:41pm

???

Totally missed this.

WTF is this all about??! :faint:.

All of a sudden a man stops us from behind and says "Hi, I hope you don't mind, I'd like to say something to you- I have children myself, so I hope you don't mind" :loco:

(I honestly thought he was going to say how sweet Theo was, and I was already feeling creeped out tbh:doh::lol:)

Anyway - he then goes into one long rant about how do can I let my little child carry a thing like that, to promote violence, when the world is in the state it is in, and he said "I have mixed race kids myself (though not sure on that one)- and by letting him carry that, you're just going to make peoples opinion of him even worse, people will already see him in a different light to other kids, as he is mixed race"

:faint:

I was flabbergasted, and opened my mouth but couldn't find the words- well I did say something about him not being seen in ANY different light - that was obvioulsy HIS opinion,
and then he apologied :yeahright: for sharing his opinion, and I just walked off giving him a dirty look..

Is that a bit mad or what?? :yeahright::loco:

Damsella

20-10-2009, 09:42pm

And that his granddad is dead, but he is in heaven watching us- Theo is at peace with this knowledge.
And now Granny's cat has also died and gone to join Grandpa in heaven.:happyno: There's no talk of heaven in this house.

Re when DD first came across death, I've just remembered it was when she was in Nursery year and they went and looked at the lambs at school, and there was a dead one. But she was a bit too young to really understand it.

Cymber

20-10-2009, 09:43pm

Erm me too :yeahright::huh:

Have I totally misunderstood your OP? Why did the man mention the colour of your child's skin? Eeek sorry if I've totally misunderstood.

WoollyNewty

20-10-2009, 09:44pm

I never mentioned Death to DD, but they talked about it during her Reception year (so she was 4 or just 5) which led to lots of questions and discussions.

Oh yeah - that's a good point - particularly if they are at a religous school. My friend's kids who are in Catholic schools used to come back at Easter (in the nursery year!) having spent ages drawing Jesus nailed to the cross - 'all dead' :brainache:. I remember one of them opening the door to us and announcing 'Jesus is dead and he died FOR US!'. Alex was just like 'can I have a biscuit?' :lol:.

Anyway - not sure what that has to do with toy swords :lol:.

Lexie B

20-10-2009, 09:47pm

Have I totally misunderstood your OP? Why did the man mention the colour of your child's skin? Eeek sorry if I've totally misunderstood.

Confused....?

Cheek's first post was a question - would you let them have a sword, yes or no

Haven't read all the replies though, so maybe I missed something? :shrug: Just thought you were responding to someone who was being blatantly racist and I nearly fainted!

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 09:47pm

Have I totally misunderstood your OP? Why did the man mention the colour of your child's skin? Eeek sorry if I've totally misunderstood.
No , sory I misunderstood you when I read that post as I at first didn't read your sarcasm in the post!

:flowers:

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:47pm

No no Cymber that's definitely what he was getting at. That he's already disadvantaged :yeahright: because of the colour of his skin and the assumptions people will make. If mummy then gives him a sword to add to said reputation then it's curtains for Theo.

No?

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:48pm

Confused....?

Cheek's first post was a question - would you let them have a sword, yes or no

Haven't read all the replies though, so maybe I missed something? :shrug: Just thought you were responding to someone who was being blatantly racist and I nearly fainted!

Read page two Lexie.

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 09:48pm

Confused....?

Cheek's first post was a question - would you let them have a sword, yes or no

Haven't read all the replies though, so maybe I missed something? :shrug:

You missed page 2:lol: The reason I asked the question in the 1st place!

Lexie B

20-10-2009, 09:48pm

Guess I have to read the whole thread then! :lol:

Elle Driver

20-10-2009, 09:48pm

Oh yeah - that's a good point - particularly if they are at a religous school. My friend's kids who are in Catholic schools used to come back at Easter (in the nursery year!) having spent ages drawing Jesus nailed to the cross - 'all dead' :brainache:. I remember one of them opening the door to us and announcing 'Jesus is dead and he died FOR US!'. Alex was just like 'can I have a biscuit?' :lol:.

Anyway - not sure what that has to do with toy swords :lol:.

Ohhhh absolutely pmsl :lol:

Oppro

20-10-2009, 09:49pm

Anyway, Oppro - so when you eat chicken do you not call it chicken?

Yes but like I said she's not twigged, or never mentioned it at least. She's seen dead bugs but never asked about them - we have a Venus Fly Trap that she's seen catches flies & eats them but never asked about them being dead, and I've not killed any bugs in front of her as I'm trying to teach her not to hurt any living things, which at the moment includes plants, animals, fish, bugs, people, the cat, anything. Death really has never come up.

Also there's no heaven or hell here either so the alternative of you just die, that's it, lights out, buh-bye, end of story is a pretty hard thing to face.

Lexie B

20-10-2009, 09:50pm

:lol:

That'll teach me to go straight to the end, in fairness there was 10 pages to read though!! :oops:

Cymber

20-10-2009, 09:52pm

No , sory I misunderstood you when I read that post as I at first didn't read your sarcasm in the post!

:flowers:

Oh shit. I get you now. You thought that was my opinion with first two lines I typed. I went cold, when you and Lexie commented on what I'd said, and I thought I'd totally misunderstood.

I seem to be putting my foot in it today. :doh:

Cymber

20-10-2009, 09:54pm

Yes but like I said she's not twigged, or never mentioned it at least. She's seen dead bugs but never asked about them - we have a Venus Fly Trap that she's seen catches flies & eats them but never asked about them being dead, and I've not killed any bugs in front of her as I'm trying to teach her not to hurt any living things, which at the moment includes plants, animals, fish, bugs, people, the cat, anything. Death really has never come up.

Also there's no heaven or hell here either so the alternative of you just die, that's it, lights out, buh-bye, end of story is a pretty hard thing to face.

I bet she's totally clued up and isn't breaking it to you, for fear of upsetting you!! :wink:

ms sweetcheeks

20-10-2009, 09:55pm

Oh shit. I get you now. You thought that was my opinion with first two lines I typed.

For a minute yeah, but realised that you wouldn't have said that- so re-read and *got it*..:doh:

bluekat

20-10-2009, 09:55pm

Oh shit. I get you now. You thought that was my opinion with first two lines I typed. I went cold, when you and Lexie commented on what I'd said, and I thought I'd totally misunderstood.

I seem to be putting my foot in it today. :doh:

I re-read and got what you meant but must admit I was a bit :huh: at the first read :lol:

I'm sure there are violent criminals out there who weren't allowed to play with plastic swords or guns as kids as well as those that were.

BKx

Oppro

20-10-2009, 10:03pm

I think it's on my mind a lot lately, & why I'm feeling so strongly about it, because I have a lovely little boy in one of my classes, he's 3, but every single thing he says & does is somehow violence related. Everything has something to do with guns, stabbing, killing, beating up, vicious wild animals ripping each other to shreds and he is the most violent child in any class I have, always hitting the other kids & me & his other teachers. He is a really sweet boy otherwise, and certainly was 6 months ago before this all started, but it's really disturbing now tbh. He shouldn't know all that & wherever he's getting it from needs to be stopped, whether it's an older brother with computer war games or whatever, he needs to not be in contact with it. It's far more excessive than any other boys his age I teach. I think that's making me prickly lately.

Cymber

20-10-2009, 10:08pm

I think we have become desensitised to violence to some extent, and I understand your concerns Oppro.

jamsplat

21-10-2009, 07:42am

"OK, this is the leg bit of the chicken. Can you feel the bones in your leg? Well, this is the same bone as that bone there. This is what your bones look like on the inside. Isn't that interesting?"
we've been doing that too recently. I did draw the line at letting her go and watch them butchering a deer though.

katkinn

21-10-2009, 11:24am

we've been doing that too recently. I did draw the line at letting her go and watch them butchering a deer though.

You see you say that but we were at Chessington in the summer and were watching the lions feeding. They tie (real!) dead rabbits up in the trees. The little boy next to us asked what it was and his mum said it was a toy rabbit. H turns around and with a sigh says "no actually, it's just ead." :shock: :oops: But totally matter of fact, not in a scary way, she just knew it was dead. We go to the butchers a lot and they've always got birds and rabbits hanging up waiting to be skinned/plucked and so my kids know what happens and what we eat.

Anyway, said dead rabbit in the tree was then mauled by the lion and someone had clearly tied the knot a tad too well as this rabbit would NOT come untied. Oh no, first the intestines all came unravelling out, then various bits of innards, an ear came off, a foot came off :yuck: :shock:

Well the adults were all :faint: :vomit: oh my god how hideous etc etc, whereas the kids were not remotely phased. :shrug: They didn't know that it was something "disgusting". It was just the lion eating the dead rabbit which is what happens as far as they were concerned.

Very interesting to watch, their reactions and the parent's reactions.

Honey Dew

21-10-2009, 11:37am

No way am I having wooden ones. As nice as they look he could do some serious damage with those!!

Absolutely! Noah & Jude were given beautiful wooden swords and shields by my brother for Christmas 2 years ago, they lasted about a month before being confiscated (and have come out and gone away again multiple times since.)

They have foam ones (as does Edie) and they whack each other with them, playing pirates and knights in shining armour (Eden told me she was the "Damson in Distress")

I have no problem with swords, or tbh, guns. We have a rule though that no guns are pointed in peoples faces (call me a weirdo...)

zanna

21-10-2009, 11:39am

They didn't know that it was something "disgusting". It was just the lion eating the dead rabbit which is what happens as far as they were concerned.

My son (just turned 4) was like that this Summer, watching my dad feed his ferrets. Just very matter of fact "granddad gave the ferrets a dead chicken"

He knows a little as he's really curious, he knows that we eat chickens, cows etc and he knows that things die (but obviously doesn't understand the full concept of death)

I don't mind him playing pirates or cops and robbers, I don't think having a toy sword will make him more likely to knife people when he's older.

Everyone parents differently, just do what's right for you and your family.

BigB

21-10-2009, 11:45am

Sorry haven't read the whole thread but yes we've let ours have swords and guns for ages. I started off just allowing them soft swords but they started using their fingers/sticks for guns so I thought I may as well let them have those too! I loved playing with them when I was little and have no problem with it as long as they don't hurt each other. Light sabre fights can be a bit hairy here though!

Chocolate Lips

21-10-2009, 12:04pm

They didn't know that it was something "disgusting". It was just the lion eating the dead rabbit which is what happens as far as they were concerned.

I was going to say something along the lines of this - kids can be so matter of fact. You don't have to hide death etc from them as I don't think they "get" it enough to traumatise or effect them.

Because we live in the countryside we see all manner of roadkill, there was a big dead badger on the road the other day and Bel was concerned I might hit it and hurt it and I said "I can't hurt it, it's already dead" (to be honest it wouldn't cross my mind to say anything else :puzzled: ) and she said just said "oh". She points out dead mice, spiders etc to me all the time "oh look mummy, there's a dead mouse over there" and it's as innocent as that. She's never asked why they are dead she just accepts they are but I'd explain more if she did.

The funniest thing was watching Ashes to Ashes one night and James had woken so he was sitting on my lap (he was under the age of 2) when Gene Hunt shot dead a dog. It was quite an impact BANG but James just turned and looked at me and said "dog, gone!" and I said "errr, yep, dog has gone" and we were rolling around laughing. I don't feel the need to shield them from this kind of thing.

PoppyHoney

21-10-2009, 12:04pm

[QUOTE=katkinn;2634291]Anyway, said dead rabbit in the tree was then mauled by the lion and someone had clearly tied the knot a tad too well as this rabbit would NOT come untied. Oh no, first the intestines all came unravelling out, then various bits of innards, an ear came off, a foot came off :yuck: :shock:[QUOTE]

:zombie:

[QUOTE=WoollyNewty;2633385]Seriously though - some kids just pick up on death as a HUGE fascination very young and really do have quite a deep understanding. Alex is 5 now and really hasn't cottoned on to it much but his best friend (who is a girl) knew loads about it at 3.5 and it all stemmed from her over-hearing that road safety advert on someone's radio where a little girl says 'if you hit me at 40, I'll die.....'. She is a very very intelligent and curious little girl and she just questioned and questioned and linked it all together in her own toddler way.

She used to say things like 'if you die mummy, it will be Ok because I will kill myself so that I can be with you'.....:brainache:. It seriously wasn't anything my friend had done - it was just her putting bits together in her mind. [QUOTE]

Evie is obsessed with death at the moment. We've had quite a lot of deaths in the family recently, so we've talked about it quite a lot, but she says things like "when I die, you'll be so sad you'll die too".

Plus she's at a Catholic school, so there's crucifixes all over :doh:, and we had some long discussions about Easter, Jesus dying and being resurrected etc.

A lot of her discussions start "When I/you die..."

jamsplat

21-10-2009, 12:19pm

You see you say that but we were at Chessington in the summer and were watching the lions feeding. They tie (real!) dead rabbits up in the trees. The little boy next to us asked what it was and his mum said it was a toy rabbit. H turns around and with a sigh says "no actually, it's just ead." :shock: :oops: But totally matter of fact, not in a scary way, she just knew it was dead. We go to the butchers a lot and they've always got birds and rabbits hanging up waiting to be skinned/plucked and so my kids know what happens and what we eat.

I do absolutely agree with you, just as DH was leaving she suddenly piped up, wheres pappa going with his friends? and got told he's going to cut up the deer so we can cook it and eat it. There was no beating about the bush and she got to look at all the meat and bones he brought back. She'll get to see the butchery, preferably when there are other kids there as well (otherwise she'll probably get rapidly bored and become a pain in the åss), and when she can walk far enough without moaning then she can go hunting if she wants.

Death is part of life, you can't avoid it, and I'm not actually sure its healthy to try......

elderflower

21-10-2009, 01:32pm

Em has a lightsaber, only geektastic weapons are permitted in our house:geek:

My older girls have a Sonic Screwdriver. Can they kill someone? (I don't watch Dr. Who; that's the girls' and DH's thang.)

Blonde Girl

21-10-2009, 02:09pm

Dan is sadly only too aware of what death is and has been from a very young age. I would have preferred to have maintained his innocence a while longer really :no:

Luckily he never says anything like 'die' or 'I'll kill you' when he is brandishing his sword - he just likes waving it about :nod: His friend went through a stage of saying I am going to KILL you and I explained to Dan that it really isn't a nice thing to say and he *seems* to have taken that on board.

He is fairly blase about animals dying so we can eat them. It really doesn't bother him at all - at Chessington he would have been pretty interested in the dead rabbit being eaten :oops:

Out of interest - those who said you wouldn't allow a gun. How do you dress up as a cowboy without a gun? :scratchchin:

Actually Dan hasn't got any cowboys stuff - not sure why :scratchchin:, you wouldn't believe the hassle I had getting him a hat for H,M and A's party :lol:

I think it is cos he adores being a pirate so much that he never bothers with anything else.

My older girls have a Sonic Screwdriver. Can they kill someone? (I don't watch Dr. Who; that's the girls' and DH's thang.)

:lol: :happyno::happyno: Dr Who is very anti-violence!

Alabama

21-10-2009, 02:55pm

I don't see the problem with a toy sword :shrug: But then I'm not going to expose them to violent films/video games etc so they'll only know a sword as a play/makebelieve item IYSWIM.

Same with guns. Pretend cowboy gun fine :nod: - replica AK47 no :happyno: Round here guns are for sport (clay pigeons) or work (farms) and I was firing an air rifle under my Dad's careful supervision as soon as could hold one. We have a rather fine photo of me at the age of about 18m holding up a dead rabbit by the back legs (it was about as long as I was tall :lol: ) whilst Dad cleaned his shotgun next to me :oops:

zanna

21-10-2009, 03:01pm

We have a rather fine photo of me at the age of about 18m holding up a dead rabbit by the back legs (it was about as long as I was tall :lol: ) whilst Dad cleaned his shotgun next to me :oops:

I have pictures from this Summer of C (4) sitting on a hill with a lurcher at his feet and my brother holding a gun, from when they finally gave in and took him rabbiting with them. He came back and said "I'm having rabbit for my tea"

I really think its how they are brought up, they have toy guns/ light sabers/ swords and he knows farmers/ policemen have guns etc but he doesn't watch inappropriate tv/ games (like Grand Theft Auto and violent rubbish like that.)

hazelnut

21-10-2009, 03:55pm

I would and did let my son have a sword. I said no to guns though but it made no difference as he built them out of lego instead

jellybean

21-10-2009, 04:10pm

No but only because it would bloody hurt if she hit me/ others with it

Ruby

21-10-2009, 07:06pm

Everything has something to do with guns, stabbing, killing, beating up, vicious wild animals ripping each other to shreds and he is the most violent child in any class I have, always hitting the other kids & me & his other teachers. He is a really sweet boy otherwise, and certainly was 6 months ago before this all started, but it's really disturbing now tbh. He shouldn't know all that & wherever he's getting it from needs to be stopped, whether it's an older brother with computer war games or whatever, he needs to not be in contact with it. It's far more excessive than any other boys his age I teach. I think that's making me prickly lately.
I see why you would be concerned. My son (now 4), however, went through a phase like this. I've never ever hit him. He's never seen violence and I'm quite careful about what he watches on TV. I don't have any weapons or 'toys of violence' in the house. I think it's just a phase some children go through - they're obsessed with hurting, violence and death - and if it coincides with them being a gruesome toddler then they can end up coming across as Little Ted Bundy.

He's still obsessed with creatures eating each other and dinosaurs fighting etc. I just think that he can't really comprehend violence so he is just trying to make sense of it.

He's got a bit of a death obsession recently (triggered by hearing about Baby P) which has led to some uncomfortable conversations. He's not in the least bit phased by meat though and quite often asks which dead creature we're eating.

donna-j

21-10-2009, 09:52pm

I caught my son assaulting his brother with a fairy wand the other day...

... so I'm not entirely sure why I persist with the No Weapons rule. I think, really, it's because I don't feel I can tell him off for poking his brother with a sword if that is what you are 'meant' to do with it.

There is little more dangerous than a cushion, and you wouldn't ban them :happyno:

I had to abort a mortgage application phonecall halfway through as Thomas was sitting on Clara with a cushion over her face :shock::cry:

donna-j

21-10-2009, 09:55pm

Seriously though - some kids just pick up on death as a HUGE fascination very young and really do have quite a deep understanding ...

She used to say things like 'if you die mummy, it will be Ok because I will kill myself so that I can be with you'.....:brainache:. It seriously wasn't anything my friend had done - it was just her putting bits together in her mind.

As I said she's now 5 and her latest fascination is graveyards.....there is one next to her school and boy oh boy does THAT provoke a lot of questions (every single morning!) :lol:.

Alex isn't quite so advanced - tricky questions over Tesco's fish counter and a live lobster he saw at the market are his main 'talking points about death' :lol:.

Thomas is OBSESSED with death atm. I am fairly sick of conversations about death, dying, heaven etc. He also loves seeing the dead fish in Tesco.