View Full Version : How often do your parents see your children?
I'm talking about those of you with parents nearby (i.e. same town). I am starting to get a bit pissed off but am not sure if it's justified yet.
The last time I saw my parents was 2 wks ago. And it's always at my instigation and my Mum was all flustered when I came round, saying 'tomorrow would have been better.' I used to think that perhaps it was because of their mad dog, who is not good for children but they could still come round here if they wanted.
Then I put it down to my Dad's illness but he appears to be getting better but still no change in their behaviour. They are OK to go on holiday for 2 wks, after all.
I am thinking of just sitting it out and seeing if they can be arsed to get in touch with me for a change and come and see R. My mum did phone Sat to invite me to a party (adults only) when I told her before that I prob wouldn't go as I work Sundays. It is fairly typical of my mum. If it doesn't involve booze and fags, she ain't terribly interested.
I did have a massive row with my sister over this before she had her baby as she couldn't see where I was coming from when I said 'they might as well live in Australia' and told my mum what I said.
My mum is a bit like that. She lives about 5 miles away and has a car but never just pops round ours, although she will come if invited.
We go and see her every monday teatime and my sister goes at the same time. Mum cooks us all tea but she's glad when we take our darling kids home again!
Some people just aren't the kiddy type. You can't change them! :happyno:
My own Mum lives about 120 miles away, although we see her at least once a month. And in the weeks between visits, we always hook up on MSN on the webcam so she can see Elise and I.
MIL looks after E everyday while I'm at work, but before that, we'd see her every couple of days, 3 or 4 at the very most.
How does your sister feel now that she's had her baby, is it the same for her? And do your parents live far away? Is there anyone else in the family with kids?
Poor you Fran, I have b-i-l and s-i-l in the same town and they have never been round in the 2 yrs + that we have lived here.
My kids see my mom every day as she lives here with us. My dad lives 3 doors away and they never see him as there has been a major falling-out.
I agree with what Wotsit says, some people aren't kiddie types and don't see how hurtful they are being
I think my mum sees my sister's baby about once a week, which is about the same as she was with R when she was small. When she got to the toddler stage, she grew less interested. I will talk to my sister. Trouble is, everything I tell her tends to get back to my mum as she always takes her side so I will need to get to the point where I'm psyched up for it.
My parents like about 5 mins drive away. My sister is literally round the corner. My BIL and SIL live about 5 mins drive away, too. I see them now and then but we're not close and less so since R senior had a bit of a falling out. R senior's parents live about a 20 min drive away but, again, they never take the initiative but tend to be welcoming if we pop round and will help if asked.
I see my mother 1-4 times a week dependg on what shift she is working, she lives a 5 minute walk across the fiends from me (althouggh waiting to hear back from a house across the road from me :ellie: .
I see my dad once a week, he lives about 40 minutes away but calls in on his way home from work. He still works in the area.
F-I-L I see a few times a year, he's based in Colly so depends on how often he's home and how muc free time he has. M-I-L is 5 min drive away and since Feb I have seen her 5 times max. Then she has the cheek to complain to S-I-L that she never see's the kids.
We make a point of visiting MIL every week, but I only go to my mother's house if I fel she's getting twitchy she hasn't seen the kids, which, tbh isn't often, she's not that bothered.
SIL and BIL live 10 minutes walk away from us and we rarely see them (much to DH's delight :teehee:)
When DH's dad was alive we would see his parents a lot more as they used to come and see us but my parents never bothered to visit us - they saw it as my responsibility to bring the kids to them. Then my dad died and my mother seems to be allergic to public transport, there's a bus that goes from her door to near my house but she's never used it (not that I'm complaining).
Well I've lost both my parents unfortunately:cry: so they can't see my children, but if Mum was alive she would have wanted to have them around all of the time:nod: .
My ex MIL is completely :loco: and wants to see the children all of the time. She has been a star babysitting lots for me lately so this weekend I thought we would give her some peace. She ended up phoning up on Saturday afternoon saying she wanted to take them somewhere for an hour so I could get myself off shopping, so I did :oops: .
I don't live near my brother and sister (who isn't talking to me at the moment anyway ) but even if I did live near I don't think we would see much of eachother as we are not particularly close. My brother stays with me over Christmas but only for a couple of days otherwise we would end up :hissyfit:
MIL: most weekends or at least once a fortnight
SIL: every couple of weeks (usually same as MIL as they live close to each other)
FIL: about 2/3 times a year. He just can't be arsed & Elena always cries as she doesn't know him & he's not very natural with children.
Nb. both live 20 mins drive away
My mum & dad: About 4/5 times a year. Usually from us visiting them as they live over 100 miles away.
My brother: Christmas
My sister: A couple of times a year
MIL/FIL - Pretty much every weekend. We go to them, rather than them coming here.. They live 15 min drive away.
SIL - Birthdays/Xmas (family events) even though she is only about 30 min drive away
My mum - 1hr 15min drive away, and she comes up to see Lulah once a month (during the week) When I go back to work, Im not sure what will happen , as at weekends she's pretty involved with her step family.
About 3 or 4 times a year. They live about an hour's drive away (and they have a car). Shortly after I had my elder son, they moved to France (couldn't get far enough away, evidently :lol:), and when they came back they bought a tiny one bedroomed first floor flat, so it wasn't ideal to visit, particularly once we had the youngest!
They ring me once a week, but never speak to the children, despite the fact that the children are more than able to chat on the phone.
My parents babysat twice, once when the eldest was little, and on medication after heart surgery, and they didn't give him his medicine when it was due :shock:. The second time (I gave them a second chance!) they let him fall asleep on the floor, and just left him there! Wouldn't ask them after that.
DH's parents live in the same town. We see his dad and step-mother every week unless either one of us is away. We rarely see MIL. DH does nothing to organise, btw. FIL wants to see DS and DS enjoys seeing him and S-MIL as well. DH doesn't really bother keeping in contact with any of his family, tbh, and I guess his mum is the same. There's no hard feelings, or anything, just not a lot in common or a desire to see each other. MIL not particularly interested in grandchildren (either ours or DH's sister's ) but I think she does love her children and grandchildren, just quite busy and they don't really rate high on her list of priorities.
I don't think it's unusual as if we didn't have DS then we would probably still see FIL weekly and MIL hardly at all.
If I was living near my Mum and sister I would see them at least once a week, but I'm much closer to my family than DH is to his and it's normal for me to see then often (when we're in the same country, that is!)
mrljjs dad has seen her once, in her whole life, long story. My mum sees her at least 3 times a week, as she looks after her when i am at work. If she doesnt have her for what ever reason, ie MrLJJ not working, she would see her maybe once or twice a week
We see my mum practically everyday :shock: she was always coming around anyway and now that I'm due she's here all the time. Sometimes it can get a bit much but TBH we are quite close and she takes the hint when we want some time to ourselves. She was there when Katie was born and will be looking after Katie for me when I go into hospital. her and my stepdad live a 10 minute walk down the road.
My dad we usually see once a week on a Saturday (when he makes his Irish Stew), he's quite good about coming to me when Kate or myself is ill or like now when I'm practically to big to leave the house. (And he usually brings the stew with him!) He lives a 20 minute walk away or a 5 minute taxi ride. We're actually trying to get a house near him because Katie has just started nursery in the school near him (because all the schools in our area are so poor.)
My sister I usually see at least once a week when I go to my dads (she still lives at home with my dad) and sometimes she'll come to me in the week. Katie adores her and she's good with keeping her occupied.
MIL we see occasionally, although DH sees her more because he goes to visit her. this is because she is ill a lot of the time though and can't always get to us. I refuse to let Katie go to her flat because it is in such a state (she's schizophrenic and so her home is quite dirty). She's nice though and always brings a present for Katie when she does come, although I would never let her babysit.
BIL and SIL live a 20 minute car ride away and TBH we never see them at all. DH only sees his brother if he makes the effort to go to his house and they never make the effort to come to see us even though they've got a car and we haven't! It's actually quite a shame because Katie is only 9 months older than their little girl and SIL is pregnant and due in January which means there will only be 5 months between my LO and her's. But they're actually quite funny people SIL always pretends to be your friend to get information out of you and then just doesn't bother with you for months on end, it's actually only recently I've stopped making the effort with her which means we don't see them at all now.:shock:
My mum & dad live about 4 miles away and we dont see them often
It has been about 5 weeks before, i dont know why??? They are busy with there house at the mo, although i dont get why they cant take 1/2 hour out to see alfie....
We were seeing alot of them a few weeks ago but that was only to use our shower as they had no water, as soon as they had showered they were gone
I cant rember the last time they took him out or had alfie for the night, the last time i asked they kind of moaned about it and i knew they didnt want to, hence why now my brother looks after him or i ask my mates if me and dean want a night out and my brother cant!! Im quite glad i have mates like that to be honest..
i see my mum about once a week usually - she lives about 30 / 40 mins away so either i'll go to hers (most often as her house is bigger) or she'll come to ours.
she would see us every day if she could but that's not really an option but we talk at least a few times as week.
my dad and IL's less often as they live about 2 hrs drive away but still every other month or so, and thye're good at coming to us so we dont have to drive ben round too much.
my grandparents are fab too and email a few times a week, and my sis lives with my mum atm so i see her lots too - my family is my backbone i couldnt sope without seeing them often; i love them to bits.
Never.....and that's the way I like it.#
PIL's are both dead but according to DH's sister (who is an old cow) his mother would have hated me on sight....ah well... we'll never know will we!!!!
As for my parents ....well 11 years ago my father had an affair with a neighbour and ran off with her and 10 months later he sent my children some money in a christmas card which got returned with a note telling him it was a proper grandfather they needed not someone who sends them a tenner every now and then.....I haven't seen him since.
My mother became very controlling after my father left as well as having a breakdown after he went so I spent the next 8 years tip toeing around her while she was bossing me around and running my life. Just over 3 years ago she was admitted to hospital and I spent the week running around after her and driving the 30 mile trip to the hospital everyday while I was 8 months pregnant, during that time my sister and her husband went on holiday. I never even got a thank you....a few months later at christmas she bought me a toblerone.....and BIL a new car. That made my mind up for me and I decided to cut all ties with her.
My children are perfectly happy without grandparents around, and their parents certainly are.
They are about 30 mins drive away and i see them 2-3 times a week. My inlaws live 5 hours away and we see them once a month.
My parents live about 10 mins walk away so we see them quite often, at least 2-3 times a week. Both parents work part time so they're around a lot and will come over at the drop of a hat. PIL's live about 5 mins drive away and we generally go over to see them on a Sunday afternoon. We also go and see DH's grandma sometimes during the week and DH's auntie is often there too. All in all, we're a close family and we see a lot of each other. I feel quite spoilt!Moffgal
My parents have my 2 youngest when I come to work, so we see her every day during the week, I don't call at weekends to give them a child free break:grin:
OH's mum.....well she is very one sided with OH's sister, she has her son loads, so my 2 don't get to see her much, and if they do she usually brings her other grandson with her, I can't remember the last time she actually came and spent time with them without brining the other grandson. They last saw her about 2 weeks ago, she called Sunday morning but we were at the park. To be fair though OH is useless, he never takes our 2 down to see his mum and it is only about 10 mins walk.
My mum and dad live about 20 min drive away and we see them loads. They have Katie at least twice a week while we work and I go there occassionally on the weekends.
My sis and bil see Katie at least once a week, she would like it to be everyday but they live MILES away, they are planning on moving closer though :grin:
As for MIL and FIL, don't get me started, they have been to our house once on her 1st birthday, never ever come to us, but OH takes Katie to them once a week or so.
His sisters have also been here once on her 1st birthday :hissyfit:
Makes me so mad - they all drive etc but just don't come.
My Mum lives about 40 mins away by car and she doesn't drive but we've managed to come to an arrangement including my Sister who DOES drive and we take it in turns each week to host a coffee afternoon, one week i'll go to my sisters and mum will be there and the next they'll come to mine.
Dad lives about the same distance away but as Dad and his wife work f/t we hardly see them at all. Step mum is on ml now though so hopefully we'll see more of her in the next 6 months.
MIL & FIL live about 5 mins away and we see them probably once a week, sometimes more sometimes less.
My Grandparents are both still with us and i try and take Lu over there once a month if i can.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.