oh my god - that's it - her Mum left for Spain tonight....!

[Tazdevil]

I'm so shocked - it's been a real day in this house today I have to say :no:

After nearly a year of will she/won't she, SD's Mum left for Spain 'tonight'. She rang her (nearly dropped dead from the shock of her receiving a call from her Mum in itself :shock: ) at 8.30pm tonight and told her in that 'oh so friendly way' that yep, that was it, house gone, her other Brother enrolled in school in Spain for the last week already now, and her and the new Man were off shortly in the car to go re-join him back out in Spain for good :shock: She's not seen her at all since the first week of the summer holidays, she's only half an hour up the fecking road for fecks sake and even worse is not even half an up the road tonight but 15 fecking mins. as she's left the house and was at her Mum's house a lot nearer :angry:

I'm aghast - she won't be seeing her now until Christmas and I can't believe she didn't even spend an hour saying goodbye :angry:

To be honest, what else can I type? Most of you know the history of this by now and I'm just too dumbfounded to type any further thoughts on the matter - just needed to express my utter shock - yet again.

FWIW, my reaction to SD was only one of "come here and give me a hug" and "I'm always still here to talk in spite of how diffiuclt the last year has been" this solicited a "I miss my Mum so much" from her :-( :cry: which is more than I've got from her lately, so hopefully she read my tone well. Of COURSE she misses her Mum, poor cow and she should have jolly well seen her too :cry: I can't replace her Mum, and never will do and she's every right to miss her Mum - she's 12 :cry:

I also feel extremely sorry for ex Husband No. 2 tonight sitting in the old house he used to share with her Mum knowing his Son has gone to Spain for good :no: :no: I liked this man tremendously and so did my husband (not bad really for an ex-husband and what was for a long time the new one) and I just can't imagine the horror and despair he must be feeling right now :no:

What a trail of devastation to leave behind eh :no:

[Damsella]

Oh god, your poor step daughter. Her mother is a prime A shit.

It must be hard for you, having to deal with the fallout.

I am almost speechless that a mother could treat her daughter like that. What a stupid, selfish cow.

[Tazdevil]

i just have to hide the anger now Damz really. She doesn't need that to burden her more. I rang hubbie at work so he can get his anger out of the way tonight - because she needs both our support more now than ever.

It's one thing to know it's coming, but quite another when it 'actually' happens, and in such a shit manner. Hubbie told me he was shaking with rage, and I told him that in the morning he needs to give her the biggest hug ever. Nothing we can do to alter this situation or her Mum - but we can try and soften the blow as much as possible here.

I doubt she's sleeping up there :no:

[alex]

Taz nothing really constructive to say except :hug: :higgies: to you and your family.

[Tazdevil]

thank you Alex :smile:

[alex]

Your'e welcome hun :kiss: i couldn't read and not post.
Take care petal and try and get some sleep x

[Pikeypants]

Words fail me Taz. :-( I am so so sorry for S. She must be heartbroken.

FWIW I think that you have done everything right, in the right tone, with the right words, throughout this whole farce. You can do no more, than just be there for her. Poor poor darling. xxx

[Tazdevil]

thanks Pikey :smile: i think she is definitely heartbroken. I did say "were there any regrets about not going herself and not to worry about offending me at all". She said not going to Spain wasn't her problem at all, she still didn't want to go, it had just hit her hard tonight how much she was really missing her Mum.

I'm glad she was as honest as she could be, although what lurks behind I just don't know :no:

Please god, let this woman start making this up to her soon - please!

[Pancake01]

I can not beleive she didn't even say goodbye! What kind of mother is that? Well, we all know the answer. I'm so sorry she is going through this. You sound like you are doing everything right. Can you do something nice with her at the weekend to try and take her mind off it?

[Moose]

Ah bless, this is so sad for your SD. I can't understand how she can just go like that - I would want to hug my daughter so hard, but then again I wouldn't be able to leave her in the first place.

Thank god she has a lovely family unit with you and your DH.

Take care,

Moose x

[Princess Fiona]

Agree with what all the others have said, i think you've dealt with this in the best way you can, it been tough. I can't believe she didn't even pop round to say goodbye, what a bitch.

:hug: to you and your SD and the rest of the family.

[Teresa]

Your poor step daughter. I'm speechless that she could treat her daughter like that.

Hugs for you and your family.

[book_lover]

no way taz, I've got tears streaming down my face on that little girl's behalf, I never react quite this emotionally to a post. What a total bitch this woman must be, that is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. I often wonder if people really CAN be mothers/fathers and not feel inseperable from their children - I thought it was innate. Well sadly, this woman proves that it IS possible, but all I can say is that she must be seriously sick in the head. Your SD will be better off without this witch in the long run. She really is lucky to have you though taz - this must be so very hard for you right now :hug:

xxxxxxxx

[Tazdevil]

i've never felt anything but love from my own mother, who has always put us all first her whole life, so for all of us at this end, it's a real shock to say the least - we just can't comprehend it :no:

It was a real depressing day in this house yesterday, and I hope today will see an improvement. I feel so shite about this woman now that I can't even be bothered to type anything bad about her now - does that make sense??? I just feel so weakened and in shock with it that I just 'can't be bothered' - i'm too dumbsruck. To be honest, I don't even NEED to type anything do I? It really does say it all, and sum up this whole horrific last year.

I have to say, if there was anyone out there over the last year thinking "well this woman can't surely be this bad" I'm sure even they would have to admit that it takes 'some' kind of Mother to up and go like that without so much as seeing her - she's 12 :cry:

I give up - really I do. I actually hope I never have to see this woman ever again as long as I live (sadly, I probably will have to though).

Taking SD out on Saturday to clothes shop for a wedding next weekend, will try and spoil her a bit - she gets a lot of love and attention from Dad, always had done to be honest, but I need to crash course remind him today that what she really needs right now is constant hugs and a great deal of 'i love yous' - he probably doesn't need the reminder, i just think we need to act fast - because I don't know how much damage this could ultimately do her.

[Lois Lane]

Well after all that you've posted in the last year I have to say that I didn't think that woman could surprise me any more but I'm utterly dumbfounded. What a selfish, selfish woman. I didn't realise your SD was 12 either, for some reason I thought she was older, and that hurts even more doesn't it???
That someone who bore this child, can treat this child in that way.

All I can say is that you are a wonderful step-mum and SD is lucky to have you. In years to come I'm sure she will wise up to this woman and realise that you and your OH were her support all the way through and I'm sure she'll come to realise what her mother has put her through. She is SO lucky to have you both.


((((HUGS))))) to you at this difficult time

Lois xxx

[WoollyNewty]

Oh god - reading that I've just got a huge lump in my throat and felt like the tears were going to come. I just suddenly thought how I would feel if I was 12 and my mum did that...... Just horrendous.

In all this darkness your SD is so fortunate to have you - without that things would be a thousand times worse. I just can't believe her mother's behaviour but some people, mother's or not, are just grade A selfish-idiots. I used to work with a lady who married the wrong man and then left him for his best friend leaving her two kids with her husband as 'it was two much hassle to take them'. Four years later she settles down with a new bloke and gets a house and wants the kids back - only they don't want to come and get all upset and confused. She used to come to work calling her SEVEN year old daughter a 'bitch' and I used to struggle to not to walk out of the room! It's mothers like this who are 'bad' mothers - not all the good mums who beat themselves up needlessly over the small stuff day in and day out.

I really hope things start getting better for your family now - you've had such a hard year.

xxx

[Micah]

:higgies:

Nothing suprises me anymore. Its totally heartbreaking the way some "mothers" can use and abuse their own children, and all too often it's the fathers who get the bad press.

You sound like you're dealing with all this brilliantly, so the blow should be softened.

Good luck and hugs to your SD.

[cartchick]

What a truly repulsive woman. Oh your poor poor stepdaughter.

I've been following your story and I just can not comprehend for a second how this evil b*tch can treat her little girl in this way. :-(

Thank goodness she has the support of a loving father and of you. I hope it's enough to see her through this.

Huge :higgies:
ccxx

[Tazdevil]

thanks everyone, and woolly, i sincerely hope that 'this' marriage works out for the woman, I'd hate to think she did it all for nothing (and not a hint of sarcasm ..............well ok, perhaps I'm allowed a bit).

Sometimes I don't entirely believe in the phrase "what goes around comes around" so I'd better not live in expectation as I might get very very dashed!!!!!

[Blonde Girl]

I am actually speechless with disgust at this woman, and full of admiration for how you are managing to restrict your venting to be on here and to keep your true feelings from your SD.

Poor little girl, I know she is nearly a teenager - but still just a child. :hug::hug::hug: to you all.