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icclebunny
29-08-2006, 07:19pm
**Please bear with me Im extremely angry and I need to get it out**
There are 2 members of my family that I love very much but at the moment theyre driving me to the point where Im ready to snap with sheer frustration and anger.

We moved in April and everything is upside down at the moment- its a total refurb job. We're pretty much living out of boxes but we have the essentials out - because we have no kitchen the dining room is a makeshift kitchen, because we have no dining room we have to eat in our lounge. The house has 4 bedrooms but Mini IB is still bunking with us but she'll be in her bedroom by the end of the week as we only have the ceiling left to paint. The 2 spare bedrooms are crammed full of stuff that would normally belong in our room or Mini IBs room, or the dining room or the kitchen etc. Half of Mini IBs toys and clothes are downstairs as she has no room at the moment - you get the picture.

Ive been under constant criticism about having my dogs, about the weather going to get worse and they'll be bringing in crap on their feet and Mini IB will be walking soon etc - I clean the floors with bleach or dettol FFS, Im not rehoming them, they arent any trouble - I look after them well, you dont just turf your animals out because you have kids.

Then, apparently my lounge is a mess and I need to get rid of some of my stuff. When they came round today there was a pile of newspapers on the floor because Id only just sorted them out so now Im disorganised and slovenly in their eyes - the recycling box is full so I had nowhere else to put them.
I have no hot water in the kitchen (or what would be the kitchen when its done) so Im a day or so behind washing some food cans - to which the reply is "so thats what that awful smell is" and Im told that contractors will refuse to come round if thats the way I keep my house - the house is clean for crying out loud, but because its not immaculate and Im seemingly sitting on my bum all day I must be a bad person/mother

Ive just had 2 phone calls in which both Im told that Im not eating properly and that I should be putting more pressure on contractors to show up and do the work. Im ready to stop answering the phone and just not go anywhere because Im ready to flip - Ive had enough of the overbearing criticism, I dont want to be told how to run my life. I put Mini IB first, I make sure she's clean, fed, changed, bathed and happy - the housework comes secondary to that.

Im under constant criticism about everything, and it doesnt matter what I say its wrong, it doesnt matter what I do its all wrong. I dont want to fall out with them, but I really cant listen to it anymore - its making me ill.

Anyone have any destressing techniques? Im slowly losing the plot

Damsella
29-08-2006, 07:22pm
Destressing technique No 1 - don't talk to them, don't invite them round, tell them you can't until everything is sorted.

Re dogs - I have a very messy spaniel and I don't clean our floor that often and DD's never caught anything bad or been ill as a result, AFAIK.

Remember, it's your life and your little family and nobody else's business.

Destressing Technique No 2 - :voodoo:

Hungry Hippo
29-08-2006, 07:28pm
:higgies: Sounds like your family are being a nightmare. I agree with Damz that it may be best to keep them at arms length until the work is done as you don't need the extra stress. I'm sure getting all the work sorted is more than enough. I like the :voodoo: idea too :nod:.

Stephi103
29-08-2006, 07:28pm
Im not a great cleaner and hate cleaning but my house isn't dirty, can be messy though!!! My mum will come round and mention things and I get annoyed, her house is much tidier!!

Regards the dogs, when I was living at DPs mums house Tyler was 6months+ and I said about bleaching her floor and cleaing it more......BUT now we have a dog and Tylers older I don't bleach or dettox my floor...he won't catch anything bad helps with their immune system!

Julesb
29-08-2006, 07:29pm
I find repeating "Feck Em" very beneficial at times like this.

~Twiggy~
29-08-2006, 07:32pm
Bluddy hell. Tell you what you move out and they move in, they put you up in a nice location where there are none of these problems.
They deal with the things that they would think is a doddle.
Then they are happy and you can have some peace.

Serioulsy tell 'em to eff off! You cannot do more than you are doing already. I also recommend the doll and pin technique.

Hugs to you.

donna-j
29-08-2006, 09:49pm
There have been studies done that show that the healthiest children are those who live on farms. They are exposed to all sorts from the word go and have super immune systems.

That's how I justify having a minging house ...

I can totally sympathise. We are mid-refurb too and it's a nightmare.

I cheer myself up by thinking how lovely it's all going to be and by fantasising about putting things away in cupboards instead of in huge piles shoved in the corners.

~Twiggy~
29-08-2006, 10:08pm
That explains why I'm so healthy. :lol: I'm a farmers Daughter.

Cherrypie
29-08-2006, 11:25pm
Definitely keep them at arms length for now, IB. What do they expect when you're doing a house up FFS?

Tazdevil
30-08-2006, 09:28am
There have been studies done that show that the healthiest children are those who live on farms. They are exposed to all sorts from the word go and have super immune systems.

That's how I justify having a minging house ...

I can totally sympathise. We are mid-refurb too and it's a nightmare.

I cheer myself up by thinking how lovely it's all going to be and by fantasising about putting things away in cupboards instead of in huge piles shoved in the corners.

Donna-J - I'm liking your style :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'd go mental if someone made comments about my house or me like that - and if it were family who 'should' know better well I think I'd blow a gasket :shock: Second, Damsella and all esle on here, keep them completely at arms length until you are ready to deal with them again.

Franny
11-09-2006, 11:30am
I worked out a technique for dealing with family like this which is very effective.

I remember having all kinds of comments on how to deal with R and when I finally flipped and got the inevitable 'I'm only trying to help' comments, I told them exactly the kind of help I needed which was roll up their sleeves and do. So, if I was struggling with R because I wasn't getting enough sleep, I suggested they come round and play with her while I caught up. Funnily enough, this kind of 'help' never materialised but then neither did the comments.:smile: