Why doesn't she feed her?

[jellybean]

My mum (and sometimes dad) have E weds morning and all day thursday while I work. every wednesday, when I finish at one, I ask what E has eaten, and she always says oh she hasn't had lunch yet. I ask if she asked for it and mum said no, but I know this is a lie, because on days when i'm running late she asks from about 12.15.

I wouldn't mind if it was every now and again, but it's every week. Ella needs lunch at that time so she can nap at the right time. By time I get home and can give her lunch its 1.30/1.45 so way to late :hissyfit: I have asked her time and again to make sure she has lunch but its having no affect. I hate to think what sort of time it is on a thursday

Its the same with naps, she won't put E down for a nap or if she does its at 11.30 which is to late. E needs a morning nap, and needs to be down by 10.15.

why won't she do what I ask. :sigh:

[White Rose]

Could you try handing over some lunch for her to give to Ella when you drop her off? Make a pack of sandwiches/yoghurt/fruit/whatever so it removes any need for her to think about it? It's really hard when family members won't listen to what you say :higgies:

[Lilacgirl]

About the naps - Zach sleeps A LOT less when he's not at my house. He'll have 1-2hours here and maybe 30 minutes with the childminder and yesterday he didn't sleep all day despite having a really long nap here every day he's with me.
I don't know how or why it works but maybe she doesn't seem so tired. Maybe she wants to wait until she's really tired so she'll go right down?

Not sure what to suggest about lunch - could you provide a little packed lunch? E genuinely may not be asking for it. I know Zach acts very differently in all kinds of ways at the childminder (including with food, sleeps, behaviour!)
It's obviously important that she eats her lunch before you pick her up so I'd focus one really.

I think, and I have learnt this the hard way, that to a certain extent you have to realise that their routine will be different when they are away from us. I know the childminder it is different but it still works ok.

[jellybean]

She looks after her at my house, so I can't do that. although I could get a sandwich ready. But I quite often say give her beans on toast, eggs or something simple for her lunch.

[Flicky]

Tbh, and I know how hard it is, you may have to let it go. You're getting (what I presume is) free childcare for one and a half days per week and the bonus is it's with her grandparents. My mum has taken mine for half a day per week for a while now and I did struggle at the beginning when she didn't do things *my* way but I had to realise that her way also worked, more or less and the benefits outweighed the negatives. It's really hard (believe me, I know!) to broach these things without sounding critical and you don't want any arguments to affect the way things are if otherwise Ella is happy and cared for. If she was at nursery or with a CM she would probably have to fit in with a different meal schedule anyway?

Sending a little packed lunch is a good idea. You could even say Ella asked for it?

You are extremely lucky to have a nearly 2 year old that naps twice! Mine were both firmly on one nap by 1 and dropped them completely by 2.

[jellybean]

I think i'm so annoyed becuase she will pick fault with how other people are with her, but thinks she is perfect with her.

The nap thing I can let go, but the dinner one I can't. She needs her lunch. I don't mind a different routine, but it seems like she just cba to give her lunch. Also she rarely goes out with E, so it's not like she out being busy, she is sitting in my house, not doing anything that can't be stopped.

I am grateful that I have the free childcare, but E needs food!

I know I am so pleased she still naps twice, I don't know how I would fill the day if she didn't nap!:teehee:

[SnaffleFox]

:higgies: It's hard when someone else is looking after your LO and they don't do things how you'd like. I know that whatever I say to MIL, she'll do things her own way but I'm not that worried really as she doesn't get to look after R very often! Hope you find some way of getting it sorted or being ok with it xx

ETA R is 10 months and often only has one hour nap during the day!! Hence why I hardly get anything done some days! lol

[Flicky]

Well, I'd definitely be upset if she wasn't getting lunch at all! I think leaving it for her is the best way to go maybe - perhaps you could butter up your mum by leaving something nice for her to have 'while E has her lunch' - a scone or something, I don't know? When does your mum eat lunch?

[jellybean]

She doesn't I don't think. It's probably why she doesn't give E any, actully come to think of it. I don't doubt she feeds her on thursday but its just how late she decides to

[Jubjub]

I assume they don't feel comfortable with preparing food when they're in your home. Prepare a little meal, and give instructions to heat and serve at a certain time. They won't need to go through your cupboards etc then.

[tiff]

I wouldnt be happy about that either, I think it would probably lead to a row in my house lol.

[jellybean]

I assume they don't feel comfortable with preparing food when they're in your home. Prepare a little meal, and give instructions to heat and serve at a certain time. They won't need to go through your cupboards etc then.

I can see where your coming from but nope. they have no problem going through my cupboards for chocolate, biscuits etc when they are having a junk day!

[Flicky]

I never understand people that can just skip meals, I look forward to lunch as soon as I've finished breakfast! It sounds as if your mum doesn't have a very structured day, would that be fair? I don't mind things being shifted about a bit, as long as the overall structure is still there.

However you decide to handle it, don't do what I did and let it simmer and seethe until you explode and end up having a big massive row!

[Jubjub]

Prepare a meal and give instructions to heat and serve at a certain time anyway!

[jellybean]

yup that sounds right Flicky. Jubjub I think I will, then will look at it again if that doesn;t work

[Katoid]

Oh jellybean - that is hard - TBH i would go along the lines of

'Mum, as the weather is really cold and E needs a hot lunch at 12 and i dont want to cause you any trouble - i have prepared a shepherds pie/ cauli cheese/ sausage casserole etc that is ready to go and in the fridge, just pop it in the oven at 11.45 and it will be ready just after 12, all cooked so as not to cause you any work :grin: , thanks VERY much'

And see how that goes? Good luck, i know it is really hard as you are obviously appreciate the help but also you need to feel happy that your DD is being fed on time and not going hungry.

[choccy eating monster]

I wouldn't like that really - particularly the feeding thing. I always give carers a little lunch for N. If they are at my house, I leave it in the fridge ready made. If they were that lax, N could help herself to it:lol:

I would be rather angry at the thought of N being hungry and asking for food and not getting any:no: :angry: As for the naps, i know it's irritating but my girl is just over 2 and has dropped all her naps:rolleyes: . If your girl was really knackered, she would nap anyway.

If you are getting free c/care sometimes you just have to bite your tongue:nod:

[Roo]

Does your oven have a timer? You could even go as far as setting the timer so the oven turns on at 11.45am and the food is in there ready so she really doesn't have to do ANYTHING other than respond when it beeps to say it's done :thumb: Or else make sarnies and then phone at midday and ask if she's had them yet :sunglasses: :oops:

[cherry fizz]

I would go in for the subtle harrassment of ringing and asking if she'd had the lunch you made, around 12.30.