Treating them all equally

[IncyWincySpider]

For mums of more than one, what do you try to do to treat them all equally?

I know it's easy to say things like you would always spend the same amount on each one for birthdays and christmas etc but that is only really a very tiny part of it.

Each child has very different personalities and needs at different times, how do you balance those needs so that one doesn't feel favoured/left out?

At the moment I'm very conscious that at times I spend more time tending to our 6 month old than our 2 year old. Often we catch ourselves telling the 2 year old not to do something and spend a while explaining to her why she shouldn't do it and then turn to the baby to see he is smilling, giggling and trying to get our attention so we'll suddenly switch from being annoyed with her to smilling and praising him. She must see this and although it would be unfair on him to not respond to him positively when he is being good I can't help but think that this must have a negative impact on our 2 year old.

[August Girl]

I know just where you are coming from, I feel guilty that I am telling off my 5 year old with one breath then praising his sister for something in the next.

When I was growing up there was a definite divide between me and my sister (who also posts on here) I was the 'bad' one and she was the 'good' one, although everyone made a big show of treating us equally with what we were given, to the extent that our different personalities were ignored.

I'm very aware of doing that to my two, hopefully it will be diffused with them being different sexes and having a bigger age gap. When Z does something good I try and make sure i tell him I'm pleased with the way he has behaved and give him a small reward if he's been very well behaved, and try and involve him in looking after his sister by asking him to pass me things or let him feed her a yoghurt. I think he likes to feel important.

It's hard isn't it?

[RedTiger]

I am aware that I pay more attention to Ryan than I do to DD - he needs more attention though atm and I think DD realises this. I try to include her, ask her to watch Ryan for me while I do something upstairs, etc and I try to play with her when she asks. She does like doing things on her own though - eg she loves reading, or playing outside with her friend which makes it easier as she's doing something she wants to do so doesn't feel excluded when i'm dealing with Ryan.

[durhamlass]

i think, as RedTiger says, each child has different needs and to a certain extent you have to go with that.

I do try and spend some time with each of them, for a cuddle and
a chat.

its hard, but we manage