How would you react in this situation?

[Elle Driver]

:rant: Sorry - mini little rant coming up :oops:

As we were lining up, queuing for the teachers to come out on Ruby's first day, I got chatting to a few mums in front of us.

One looked at me, looked at Ruby and almost gasped in shock and said - is your daughter starting school this year???? Like this >>>>> :shock: :shock: :shock: ????? So I said urm....yes!?! Like :puzzled: of course she is - it's certainly not going to be Leila is it? (I didn't say this of course :teehee:).

So then she exclaimed at the top of her voice (in front of Ruby, too :angry:)

"OH MY GOD, she's HUMUNGOUSSSSSS!!!! How old is she?????"

:rolleyes: :no: :cry:

I replied "She's 4. 5 in October. And I like to use the word 'tall', rather than humungous" - in quite an even tone (but Mr PV said later that you could tell she'd hit a nerve :-()

This woman then said, "Oh yes, no, no, I don't mean humungous humungous - you know what I mean!?" (well then think before you open your mouth you twit :yeahright: )

I then said 'You've just said it right in front of her, she gets comments quite a lot about how tall she is but she's never been called humungous before. As I said, I like to call her tall" with a smile and ended it with "she's going to be our little supermodel when she's older".....and then looked away.

Gahhh I don't even know why I'm posting this really. Just some people have no tact....and I then had to fob Rubes off when she asked me "what did that woman call me, what does humungous mean?" :cry: :no: :angry:

Rarrr - honestly. If her little one was a teeny tiny tot I'd never pass comment on it....especially not a term like 'runt' or 'midget' you know? :no:

It just peed me off, Ruby's first day of school and that - and the whole line of parents turn round to look her up and down after this stupid woman's outburst.

Sorry, rant over :oops:

But how would you react?

PVx

[Adelelee]

Well not as good as you handled it thats for sure!!! What a RUDE woman :angry::angry::angry:

I honestly dont know where people get off thinking they can just pass comment!!!

:higgies::higgies:

[twirlygirly]

How would I react? Not as tactfully as you did!
Silly woman (her not you) THE LAST THING RUBY NEEDS IS TO BE LABELED ON HER FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL AS THE HUMUNGOUS ONE!

BTW IM NOT SHOUTING MY KEYBOARD HAS GONE MAD!

[irislili]

I think you reacted with total dignity - i'm not sure i would have been so gracious to be honest.
I get alot of comments because Caleb is also very tall for his age but i dont think hes ever been called humungous (fecking idiot woman).
Dont let it ruin your memory of Ruby's first day at school :higgies:

[Mrs B]

I think you were very cool and calm about it, well done for thinking on your feet! Silly mare, bet she was just jealous coz Rubes is more stunning than her kid.:wink:

[One Sock]

I think I would have done something v similar to you. Silly bint clearly wasn't thinking before opening her mouth.

Honestly, she clearly has a child herself, you'd think she'd realise to keep her thoughts to herself and not blurt them out in front of Ruby.

Sounds like it didn't phase Ruby though thank goodness, or cause any tears in her first day.

[Katoid]

Oh PV i get this a lot too - people saying in front of Teya how 'huge' she is - she is just tall ffs and so are her dad and i - it makes me :cry: too. I think you handled it really well, i would have probably pointed out how rude and unnecessary that comment was in front of the LO, in this day and age body image starts way too early. :higgies: PV, honestly - each child is different and should be treated thoughtfully regardless - would she have said humongous to a fat child's mum? I doubt it.

But, as you say, we will be the ones with the supermodels in later life :grin:

xxx

[Elle Driver]

The reason why I was cool and didn't say 'what a stupid thing to say, especially in front of her' type of thing was because I was *so* aware that it was her first day at school and I didn't want it ruining my memories.

I'm also going to have to see these women every morning for the next goodness knows how many years - I don't want them remembering me as the mother who shouted at another mother on her kid's first day!! :oops:

I think that would have embarrassed Rubes even more :lol:

[Katoid]

Oh PV i get this a lot too - people saying in front of Teya how 'huge' she is - she is just tall ffs and so are her dad and i - it makes me :cry: too. I think you handled it really well, i would have probably pointed out how rude and unnecessary that comment was in front of the LO, in this day and age body image starts way too early. :higgies: PV, honestly - each child is different and should be treated thoughtfully regardless - would she have said humongous to a fat child's mum? I doubt it.

But, as you say, we will be the ones with the supermodels in later life :grin:

xxx

[fluffymonster]

Wow, how crazy to say such a thing. I think you did the right thing and were very dignified.

[DillyDally]

PV :higgies: you handled that really well :nod: How incredibly RUDE of that mother, honestly, words fail me.

My boys are both small and skinny, so I have had the 'oh he's so tiny, you wouldn't think he's old enough to start school' etc etc - you just have to rise above it.

And wow, the schools have gone back already in your area :jealoussmiley: - I've got to wait until Friday :lol:

[WiCkEd_WeNcH]

I think you handled it better than I woud have done. How very rude some people are.

[spandangley]

Argh just lost my post :hissyfit:

I think you dealt with it really really well. It would have been a situation where I would have got home and thought, I should have said x y and z.

It is Ruby's teacher? ffs - she should know, I mean, its just manners. What a tit.

Is Ruby ok?

[Roo]

Truthfully? I'd probably have laughed and said 'yes, she is big for her age'. But then as a child *I* was the tall one, so I'm well used to dealing with such comments and it doesn't worry me - she didn't mean any ill by it, regardless of her choice of words. Ironically though I get the opposite with Laura, as she's tiny for her age, and indeed waiting outside school for HER to go in for her first day yesterday one of the mums did comment, saying 'she can't be coming, she's too dinky'. I just laughed - because she is :lol:

[Sparkly]

How totally unnecessary. I think you handled it really well PV. I too would have been stuck for words and thought of all the right things afterwards. I'm crap at thinking on my feet. :doh:

I'm already sick of the 'gosh he's a big boy isn't he' comments at 8mths, so no doubt will have such situations to face in the future.

:higgies: to you and your beautiful mini supermodel. :kiss:

ps I wouldn't worry about the other mums - I'm sure they thought her comment rude too.

[Shoppie]

It would be ncie to think other parents/ teachers know better than to pass comments like that wouldn't it, where exactly do they think complexes come from? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Thing is, you will always get idiots like that, never mind people who speak before they think (which I'm a bit prone to) - if she has any sense she'll be at home cringing over saying something so effing stupid :doh:

You were very restrained - well done you :thumb:

[jubiedoo16]

I think she probably just didn't think and like shoppie says will be kicking herself now, cos ateotd she knows she has to see you every day now too:wink:
I do think you handled the situation very well though, I would have probably just given her a filthy look which would make things much worse:oops:

[Cargirl]

Well done PV on your reply, so v dignified.

Rose is tall for 2 and we often get comments on how 'big' she is - she's tall FFS, there isn't a bone to pick on her :hissyfit:

I'm afraid to say i rtend to retort with, "Yes, she's v TALL for her age, just perfect".

Rarrrrr!

CG xxx

[katkinn]

Truthfully? I'd probably have laughed and said 'yes, she is big for her age'. But then as a child *I* was the tall one, so I'm well used to dealing with such comments and it doesn't worry me - she didn't mean any ill by it, regardless of her choice of words.

ah now you see now I think totally the opposite. I would have been totally and utterly LIVID as one who has also been tall all her life and constantly called "big" :no:

It also pisses me right off and always has done, that, as you can say, you can call a tall person big (or humungous - wtf?? :hissyfit:) which imho is offensive and implies fat rather than tall, but god, no way could you or would you ever call a petite person a midget :rolleyes:

I think you handled it exceptionally well and yes, very wise of you seeing as you do have to see her every day for god knows how many years and sod's law, her child and Ruby are going to end up being bessie mates :teehee:

And she *might* not be a complete eejit - it may just have been nerves if it was her lo's first day etc :higgies:

But yes, I'd have wanted to punch her lights out too :nod:

[Daisy66]

I think you did great. I would probably have laughed in an embarrassed way because, like you, I wouldn't want there to be any issues on the first day.

People often just don't think. But the word 'humungous' is really over the top and I too would have been pissed off (quietly).

Daisy

[Smooch]

Like everyone else has said I think you reacted well - very calmly and dignified. Some people just open their mouths without thinking!! How rude !

[Oppro]

I think your reaction was perfectly fine. Having a humungous DD myself I get comments all the time too. It doesn't actually bother me & I'm trying to make sure it doesn't bother her by laughing off less tactfull descriptions with her so they hopefully won't hurt so much when she does understand them. The size comments I can handle, it's the 'is she slow? Is she disabled?' when she can't keep up with the other kids her size. Now then I'd be raising some hell, especially if she was old enough to understand wat they were saying.

[~Twiggy~]

Well done on reacting the way you did.

rude woman she is with her humungous mouth and very mini brain. :teehee:

[sallycinnamon]

You reacted perfectly!

Like others have said, she will hopefully be realising she said a knobjockey thing and it could well have been first day nerves!

[book_lover]

Well done you for how you handled it :higgies: What an insensitive mare, honestly :no:

People like to point out that Laura is "chunky" :cry: and it breaks my heart. If anyone ever said it in front of her, they'd soon know they'd hit a nerve too!

[Adelelee]

it's the 'is she slow? Is she disabled?' when she can't keep up with the other kids her size. Now then I'd be raising some hell, especially if she was old enough to understand wat they were saying.

That is terrible that people say that Oppro!!!!

[Chickpea]

PV - I think you kept your cool v.well, and the fact that your DH said that he could see she hit a nerve is GOOD! She needs to know that comments like that aren't acceptable (esp considering that Ruby is of the age to pick up on things like this) and I think you showed her that, so well done!

And Twiggy can I just say with regards to this:




rude woman she is with her humungous mouth and very mini brain. :teehee:

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

That made me snort with laughter!

[minigirl]

I think you handled it very well, I would probably have been too shocked to say anything and then been mad at myself afterwards.

[knotjustjigs]

Handled with perfect dignity :) i am too slow to have made such a dignified and to the point comment so quickly, she obviously realised what she said and i dont think she will be repeating that word in a hurry!

Ketty x

[Jubjub]

I think your response was spot on.

People comment on the size of William, and I've taken to making them feel guilty by saying 'Aww, the poor lamb can't help being tall. I think he's perfect.' :lol: :oops:. Shuts them up and makes them feel dreadful for commenting on a defenseless child's appearance :grin:

[Miss Frosty]

OMG :bow: hats off for your response hun :higgies: .

I had this when Robbie was born and a woman droppoing her wee boy off at the 2-3 club with Blair ,
referred to Robbie as 'Thumper' :shock: (he was 9lb 3.5 oz when born so hardly huge :rolleyes: .

I let it go the first time but the second time she said it I told her 'if you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say anything' . I was fuming tbh :hissyfit: and didn't want someone referring to my son as 'Thumper'.

[Chickpea]

Mrs Frosty, my jaw dropped at that - THUMPER?! WTF?

How bloody rude, glad had the courage to say something to her!

[flipflop]

I also think you handled it really well PV, hopefully she'll be :oops: at saying such a stupid thing about a child.

Children aren't toys; all one uniform size!

One of the boys at E and J's nursery who they are very friendly with is a head taller than them, but his dad is well over 6' tall so it's hardly surprising, and really not worth any comment.

You are tall and gorgeous, so Ruby is obviously taking after her mum.

[She-Ra]

what a rude fecking bitch! :bwahaha:
I am livid on your behalf, poor little rubes, why couldn't she (if she couldn't have kept her pie hole shut) had said something like 'she is tall' or something along those lines.
Humungous - Grrrrrrr! Some people just think they have the right to pass comment and it gets on my nerves.

Anyway yay for rubes on her first day, how was it sugar - have u posted pics? off to look!

xx

[louise]

THUMPER?! Why would you think that was okay to call a baby? I mean a baby rabbit perhaps, but not a newborn! I would have been so mad! :twisted:

PV, in reception I was a fair bit taller than all but one of my classmates (including the boys) and I used to love it!

Hope that Ruby enjoyed her first day :smile:

[Roo]

:shrug: I must be odd then. I just don't equate 'big' or 'humungous' with 'fat'. *IF* it was said to a child that was on the chunky side, then I'd have my doubts, but if the child is obviously just tall, I'd just take it as meaning tall. And that's what I'd tell the child if the queried it.

Calling them 'chunky' when they're not a baby (let's face it, chunky in a baby is a good thing :thumb: ) or 'Thumper' :faint: is bang out of order I agree - Adam was 10lb 5 at birth so we had our share of 'omg, he's HUGE' comments, but to be fair, he WAS :lol: (he was 99th centile for height as well).

[Katiekipper]

Stupid thoughtless cow!! I agree with others, you were very dignified and dealt with it well. I'm the sap who'd have laughed and let it pass.

[Lily Luna]

I actually think you handled it pretty well. I would have been really offended and upset.

I get a lot of these comments of my 2 girls and I find it irritating and sometimes upsetting. So what if they're tall?

Hope Ruby had a great day.

[Aurora]

What an idiot! :voodoo:

You handled it so well V, like you say you will now have to see her at school for years and years so you couldn't go *too* mental :teehee:

What a donkey :doh: - People can be just plain rude can't they.

:cheer2: for Ruby's first day though x

[Elle Driver]

Roo my objection (mostly) was to it being said in front of Ruby. I can deal with ignorance or stupidity - like, when did humungous become another adjective for tall? :puzzled:

Ruby's had the OMFGG isn't she BIG!!!??!!! :faint: comments for the past five years, I'm used to it. It was more than that and she lacked tact and fwiw, intellect as as I said before, when did tall become humunnnnngous???????? :rolleyes:

As a poster has mentioned, body image and issues start so so early these days, if I can hold off her having any kind of crisis of confidence over her looks and her size then I will do it.

Yes, she might not have meant any ill by it but ffs woman, think before you speak. You have children yourself!! (not you, her!!)

Anyway I am over it, Rubes had a great day and just now going up to bed I heard her say Daddy I want to go to school NOWWWW :lurve: So, all good :smile:

oh I did want to say yes you might have had the oh isn't she dinky sort of phrase but surely you must see the difference between dinky (cute, ickle, lovely) and humungous (big, gargantuan, huge). Coupled with :shock: :faint: :eek: - it really got my back up :angry: :rolleyes:

PS Oppro crikey o'reilly it beggars belief how rude some people can be :no:

PPS Sorry for spelling grammar, being lazy and not reading back so apologies in advance!:oops:

She-Ra will put some pics on La Book tonight honey :kiss:

[Elle Driver]

You handled it so well V, like you say you will now have to see her at school for years and years so you couldn't go *too* mental :teehee:

Exactly! :teehee:

You know me :lol: :teehee:

Ha ha would have loved to see how you'd have handled it. Giggle giggle giggle :teehee: :lol: :tongue:

[Seagull&Snoopy]

Wow, how crazy to say such a thing. I think you did the right thing and were very dignified.


:nod:

:higgies:

[Peridot]

Bless her, what a stupid thing to say! & like others have said, you handled it the best way and yup, probably best not to be known as the crazy mummy on day 1 :lol:
I remember well some one saying something about me having broad shoulders when I was about 9 (it was in reference to the fact that I was a swimmer and is obviously quite common in swimmers / gymanasts etc) anyway, I can't remember the exact way the they said it to my mum but all I picked up from it was that she was telling my mum I was fat and it really upset me!
I don't know why people say such stupid things in front of children, I mean you'd never call an adult ginormus would you :loco:
I bet the mum feels really bad now!

[Penfold]

:hug: to you and Ruby. I get alternately 'she's teeeeeeeeny' about DD1 and 'she's HUUUUUUGE' about DD2 - people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut do they?

A friend of mine at the weekend expressed surprise that DD2 was so light - in their words - "y'know erm considering she's erm like that'" :angry:

[Rez]

I get this all the time about Isobel who is also really tall but there's not an ounce of fat on her. Luckily she seems to like being tall but I don't like the word big being used either, as much for the connotations it has for me as her.

I think you handled it really well but I would have been annoyed too.

[Monkey Chops]

I think you reacted really well. I've been over 6ft since I was about 12 and was really, really conscious of my height for years because of all the comments. I'm still all slouchy from spending half my life trying to look smaller! It may well have been that she was nervous in the environment but to say it in front of Ruby, ffs.

[BJMac]

What an arsehole. Dixie gets comments a lot too, from people in shops etc asking her how old she is and when she tells them, they go "ooh you;re VERY big (:rolleyes: ) for your age aren't you :shock: " - I HATE the word big, why can't they say TALL?!?!?!?!?!?!? I always reply to them "yes she's quite TALL".

I think I;m quite sensitive about it though as I was always a very tall child and got called 'big' by people and it always made me feel like a fairy bloody elephant or something :rolleyes: .

I think you handled it very well - good for you for actually 'challenging' her a bit over it :nod: .

[Nics]

I think its awful that it happened, but particularly awful for you because it was her first day (James' first day today also) and you just want everything to be perfect so it sets the scene for the next 6 years dont you....I totally understand that because thats what most of us want too.

N xx

[Sazzle]

I too, think you handled that excellently; I would be one of those sitting at home now thinking of witty retorts hours later :doh:

I don't know why people think it is okay to label children at such a young age, children don't think they're anything until they're told they are, they just "are" :lurve: Why rob them of that? :shrug:

I hope Ruby didn't take it to heart :smile:

[Ajedrez]

Hola PV - not read all the replies but I'd have been LIVID!! Humungous is totally totally RUDE.

I am quite tall and always have been, I was always called 'big' from the earliest I can remember and despite being like a twiglet for most of my life, the 'big' comments made me feel like a ginormous beast and I have always had a hangup about thinking I am fat.

So on that basis I am so glad you said what you did and hope Rubes can forget about what was said about her. I don't think you over-reacted and think you handled it perfectly, I'd have been less restrained :twisted:

[DillyDally]

oh I did want to say yes you might have had the oh isn't she dinky sort of phrase but surely you must see the difference between dinky (cute, ickle, lovely) and humungous (big, gargantuan, huge). Coupled with :shock: :faint: :eek: - it really got my back up :angry: :rolleyes:





I don't know that it's any better, tbh, PV - for a boy in particular, they want to be tall, strong and 'manly' - not little and 'dinky' :no: I know J in particular found it very upsetting.

[So Happy]

People like that annoy me, I'm always being told Amelia big for age :no:

1st of all shes the oldest in her year and in some case she has a whole year ahead of them and secondly if she was big then why is she still in AGED 4 CLOTHES WHEN SHE IS 5, I've even got some aged 3 items and 3rd shes no taller then her friends of the same age.

Sorry rant over but this is a real hate of mine as people make it sound like its horrible to be tall. :hissyfit:

You did well for staying so calm

[sersha]

Leah has always been really big for her age (98th percentile)! and she is in age 6-7 clothes now at age 3. I have tried to protect her from "knowing" that she is quite big for her age as I don't want her to get a complex about it. It is very hard when people expect so much more of them as well because they are phyiscally bigger.

I remember bringing her home and my neighbour coming out to see her and her first words were "Gosh, she's not like a newborn at all is she"... I was so livid - she was still MY tiny baby!

[Hello Kitty]

I would have said with a very straight face 'She is 17 but we don't want to push her' :grin:

Sadly some people don't engage their brain before they speak. I would make a mental note not to speak to her again. Grr on your behalf.

[Sparkly]

I would have said with a very straight face 'She is 17 but we don't want to push her' :grin: . :teehee: lmao

[Ruby]

Clearly I'm the only person who thinks you competely overreacted then!

It honestly wouldn't bother me massively, although I'll admit that calling a girl humungous is a bit crass. I might've laughed and said, "Don't say that, you'll give her a complex!" I wouldn't have risked social suicide by getting snippy about it. Someone calling my baby 'thumper' wouldn't bother me one iota, it's just a way of saying cute and chunky, no? People think that saying your kids are chubby or huge or dinky or tiny or whatever, is a compliment.

I offended a woman the other day by calling her little boy a ginge. She corrected me and said it was 'auburn'. I'm still laughing like Mutley about it to be honest.

[donna-j]

I remember bringing her home and my neighbour coming out to see her and her first words were "Gosh, she's not like a newborn at all is she"... I was so livid - she was still MY tiny baby!

One of my friends asked if I felt like I had 'missed out' on the tiny newborn stage with Thomas :no: Granted, he was 10lb 12 and had head control etc, but it was still very rude and upsetting.

He has come down to the 75th centile now for some reason.

[girlskull]

I think you handled it really well.. I would have blown up! :angry: Silly woman. xx

[IncyWincySpider]

Odd choice of words in this case but I honestly don't think this kind of comment would bother me. I always get so paranoid reading threads like this as I can imagine coming out with something similar myself if I was a bit nervous meeting people for the first time. I certainly wouldn't mean anything bad by it. It would feel along the same lines to me as commenting on how pretty a childs hair was (including some appropriate descriptive word).


One of my friends asked if I felt like I had 'missed out' on the tiny newborn stage with Thomas :no: Granted, he was 10lb 12 and had head control etc, but it was still very rude and upsetting.

He has come down to the 75th centile now for some reason.
I so hope I haven't offended anyone by commenting on how small their babies are, having had two 10lb+ babies I just get so overcome by how tiny most newborns are.

[sharon]

I would totally cry is anyone said this to me in front of my child. Actually havin said this folks are always going on and on about how Heidi is so big but Felicity is so lovely and petite, in fact someone even tonight said Flic had a small face but Heidi a really BIG face :shock: but thankfully they're not old enough to sorta pick up on that!!! Just ignore ppl like that noone should say anything about the size of a child it's just soooo inappropriate. You handled it well though.
Have a hug :higgies:

[sharon]

Donna that's such ashame I've heard other folks saying that to other women and thought it's a bit insensitive. It doesn't matter what size a child is when they're born they're still newborns :loco: Poor you!!! People can be so insensitive. xxx

[lobby]

Just ignore ppl like that noone should say anything about the size of a child it's just soooo inappropriate.


Problem is, many people live by the 'red book' of rules that says what the 'normal child' is like. Weight and height are measured and compared all the time whern they're little. I am fortunate (I believe!) in that I consider it all b*lls and haven't had Daisy weighed for about 18 months and really don't care as long as she's happy and healthy.
I would make a comment about the size of another child if they looked like a healthy strapping child, and I wouldn't consider that offensive; but maybe I'll think twice, realising that others are more sensitive than me.
Having said that, humungous is not a word that I would use - I wouldn't take it as offensive but nor would I consider it a compliment. A bit of an odd word to use.

[Cherrypie]

I think your reaction was spot on PV. You didn't over-react, but made it clear that the comment was not appreciated!
I have one friend who continually comments on Eilis's size (she's very petite), and it does naff me off a bit. Her daughter is very tall, mine is petite - yes, we've established that fact, now get over it!! It's hardly surprising when she and her OH are tall, but me and my DH aren't!!

[Chell]

Odd choice of words in this case but I honestly don't think this kind of comment would bother me. I always get so paranoid reading threads like this as I can imagine coming out with something similar myself if I was a bit nervous meeting people for the first time. I certainly wouldn't mean anything bad by it. It would feel along the same lines to me as commenting on how pretty a childs hair was (including some appropriate descriptive word).


I so hope I haven't offended anyone by commenting on how small their babies are, having had two 10lb+ babies I just get so overcome by how tiny most newborns are.

I agree with you, it wouldn't have offended me, I thought at that age children liked to be thought of as big, my two would anyway.

I imagine I've commented on a babies size too, my DD looked so tiny, DS looked huge - they are all different so people do comment. :puzzled:

[Elle Driver]

Ruby your post didn't surprise me. FTR I think it's awful that you called a child ginge :no:

Social suicide? Lmao. Urm, okay....bring it on then!! :puzzled: :lol:

Dilly, I can see what you mean. To be called dinky when you want to be big, strong and tough as a little boy must be quite upsetting.

If the kid had been fat then no way would the word humungous have been used. She would have engaged her brain then, no? :rolleyes:

As I said before, I don't care that she was ignorant - just that she was ignorant in front of my child.

If you can't engage your brain before talking to my child then don't talk to her! :smile:

[Mad Madam Mim]

People like to point out that Laura is "chunky" :cry: and it breaks my heart. If anyone ever said it in front of her, they'd soon know they'd hit a nerve too!

She is not!!! Do people really say that about her :no: :shock: I don't think she is at all. :higgies:

I think 'humungous' was a particularly poor choice of word to use. Yes people do comment - I get it with Dylan - but being a boy it doesn't really bother me in the same way. I think your response was very dignified PV, geiven that it does bother you and Ruby. I do sometimes read these threads and think OMG I might do that but then again I read them and they could make me consider my comments more in the future which is fair enough and I'd rather be more considerate in my response than upset someone.

[Princess Fiona]

I think i'd have been upset as well and tbh i don't think i'd have handled it as calmly as you did.

I know i've been guilty on commenting on Ruby's size in the past on here but i'd never say something in front of a child iyswim, as i'm fully aware how it can affect them. I was constantly called Annorexic when i was growing up because i was so skinny, people would talk to my Mum as if i wasn't there, i even remember being about 7 and someone asking how i made myself sick right in front of me :angry:

We've just come back from a week away and met some lovely people but we've had several not so nice comments about Lucy whilst we've been away, "isn't she chunky" :angry: "her speach isn't very good for 3.5yrs is it", and one old lady "bless is she backwards" :angry: honestly if the lady hadn't of been a pensioner i'd have slapped her for saying that.

Sometimes in life people speak without thinking, i'm always careful what i say in front of children but lots of people aren't.

FWIW i bet Ruby isn't the biggest in her School year :nod: Our friends little girl is big for 5.5yrs and i was really shocked when i went to pick her up from school one day as she's by no stretch the tallest/biggest in her class and it always seems to be the girls who are bigger iyswim.

Our friends older brother who is 7.5yrs is the same size as her so that gives you an indication of how tall she is, she's also a size 13 shoe and is only just going into year 1.

[Madwife]

I think you handled it very well PV, I would have smiled and then stewed about it for ages :oops:. It's good she knows she offended you and would think twice before saying things like that to others hopefully. If you're are anything like me I was an emotional wreck on Abigail's first day so I would have been even more sensitive to anything anyone said aswell.

[book_lover]

I offended a woman the other day by calling her little boy a ginge. She corrected me and said it was 'auburn'. I'm still laughing like Mutley about it to be honest.

Seriously? Ruby it's not exactly a complimentary adjective, you must have known that she would be offended?

[book_lover]

She is not!!! Do people really say that about her :no: :shock: I don't think she is at all. :higgies:

Yeah they do Mim, mainly a couple of people in particular: an old friend who says it with such affection that I don't have the heart to stop her. Also my best friend alludes to it sometimes, certainly meaning no harm at all. But last time we were there, BFs mum came round and was playing with Laura, she went to lift her up and got a surprise at her weight and sort of grunted and put her down again, and BF giggled and said "no Mum you can't really do that!" It broke my heart, I can just see all my own insecurities coming to haunt her in the not too distant future :sigh: Her thighs are a bit chunky, and she has a bit of a tummy, but she also has big thick bones just like Mummy :sigh:

There was one time my self-confidence was SO bad that I thought it would be unfair of me to breed, I'm not kidding! How bloody stupid is that :doh: I'm perfectly ok, I can see that now. All in the head! But it's comments like this that made me question, as a young girl, whether I really scrubbed up or not, you know what I'm saying? Women especially should know better!

(sorry for rant/hijack there V).

[zwinnie]

I think generally people are just trying to be nice and make conversation when they comment on children - yes, sounds like a case of open mouth and put foot straight in, but I wouldn't be overly bothered and I'm amazed I'm in the minority here ...

A woman I know in Tesco the other day basically said that Lexie is really pretty and Ines isn't - I just thought it was funny that she thought it was okay to say that to a mother. Rude, yes, did it bother me, no. Although it wasn't within earshot of the girls ... luckily!

Anyway, sounds like you didn't make too big an issue PV and the important thing is that Ruby had a lovely day.

xxx

[Nettie]

I'm with the minority here as well. I think some of the reactions from people have been a little OTT.

She made a comment that was thoughtless but I know I've done similar - especially in a situation like that where I'm actually wanting to make a good impression, and also feeling a little emotional.

[Carrie]

I think it's plain rude what she said V, you handled it very well. I agree with you in that it was best not to be confrontational but what is it with this world now that people think they can be rude, it's just ignorant if you ask me? I have a friend who says she comes out with this sort of thing through nervousness but I think it's just plain manners not to and engage your brain before your mouth?

I have a friend who's a size 6, she eats like a horse yet can't put on weight. The amount of people that have thought it ok to ask if she's anorexic, commented how "skinny" she is etc. As she says, she wouldn't say to a large girl "wow, how fat are you?!"

[Ruby]

Seriously? Ruby it's not exactly a complimentary adjective, you must have known that she would be offended?

Ruby your post didn't surprise me. Errr... OK. But you asked for people's opinions.

FTR I think it's awful that you called a child ginge :no:
I don't think that ginge is an insult. At all. Why would it be? I didn't point at her child, screaming with laughter, shouting 'oi ginge'. His hair was lovely (and ginge) so I complimented her on it. I said something like, "Oh his hair is such a beautiful colour. He's a lovely ginge, not like my muddy brown blah blah blah" My baby is a ginge (And very tall. And chubby too.) and it wouldn't offend me in the slightest. I think it's absolutely ridiculous to rebrand ginger as auburn.

I'm really, really surprised that so many people would be so offended by comments. And, to be honest, I think that by overeacting you risk doing more harm to your child than the original comment.

[Elle Driver]

Errr... OK. But you asked for people's opinions. .

Erm...of course I did :puzzled: The thread title is a question itself! I am allowed to responde to a post, no? :scratchchin:

[quote=Ruby]I don't think that ginge is an insult. At all. [quote]

Okay - so why the Mutley laughter? Is this how you follow every sentence you say then? Okay - bit weird but I guess that's just how you are then :smile: And yes, okay - I'm sure you followed it with a compliment :wink: You just omitted to say it earlier. Cool....

Fwiw my popularity in the playground is okay. Phew! :rolleyes: :teehee: The mum in question and I have exchanged hellos and how are yous since then so I'm certainly not holding on to it. I still think it's rude and tactless (as well as just wrong, get your adjectives right in the first place!) and I'd correct somebody again. Without getting my AK47 out and committing social suicide :teehee:

ETA: Thanks ALL of you for your input and opinions; I didn't expect everyone would agree with me and you haven't.....that's fine, I don't need validation!! :happyno:

[Aurora]

Oh and also V, I was thinking about this yesterday. When I met Ruby it didn't even register with me that she is tall for her age. I thought she was the same height as Jacks and he is certainly not tall. (I don't think :puzzled:)
Oh man I so need to clue myself up on age/height :teehee: