View Full Version : every night is a fight!!
as i type my OH is once again trying to settle to settle our little one (only 4 1/2 weeks old) i come to you in desperation!!! i dont know whats going on but the last week or so she has become a real handful......
particulally in the early evening, i dont think it's colic because she isnt crying inconsolabably or pulling her knees up, but she just will not go down in the evening. between about 6/7 and 12 it is a constant battle. i dont know what to do... she can't be in our arms all the time???
we have tried giving her a bath regulally after her evening feed to settle her but she just wont play...
pleaase help... i realise this is really vague, so post away if there is more info that could help you fix us!
My LO was like this up until about 10 weeks- it is completely normal & I really would advise you to go with it rather than stress about it. It will pass I promise. Part of the problem at that age is wind so a drop of Colief before their milk helps them to burp.
It is a battle, one I remember well, but hang in there- Suddenly you will notice it is earlier & before you know it, you will be setting up a routine of sorts. ie. Bed at 7pm....bliss!!!
Oh I remember well how hard it was but we found swaddling Lorna really helped to make her feel secure. That way we could put her down and not have to hold her tight against us all the time. Try it and see how it goes honey xx
or maybe a gro-bag might help? But, I'm afraid being unsettled for the 1st 6 weeks is very common unfortunately.
Big hugs, I remember this all too well with my youngest Robbie. He suffered terribly with Colic and would be really unsettled at night. He got to about 11pm, and it didn't seem to matter what you did, he just wouldn't settle. We couldn't put him down or he would scream, and slept in the beanbag for a few nights which seemed to help! I tried colief with him, but it didn't work, but the colychin (sp) granules worked a treat. Boots sell them, and would highly recommend them.
Honestly, it will get better , but it is tough at the time.
We call this witching hour - she gets over tired and won't settle - luckily she doesn't scream but she does grunt. She gets all jerky and can't switch off. I don't have the answer I am afraid - we do end up holding her most of the evening - I end up bfing a lot as she won't do a dummy. Just so you know it is normal and we are right there with you - think it is all part of them getting more aware. I gave her a nice calming bath and massage tonight and yesterday didn't bother - last night she was fine- tonight nightmare! We'll get there....
Have you tried baby massage? Worth a go, as it sometimes settles a fractious baby. Massage her feet - apparently that's where the sleep reflexology points are.
Other than that, try swaddling, a dummy, and putting her down half an hour earlier. Josephine is a bugger to settle if she's over tired.
I can't get my own LO to settle at night so feel free to ignore me if you want :laff:
thank you so much for your advice... if nothing else it's nice to know that other babies do this too!! :) it's just so draing, an especially on our relationship.... i guess thats why they say having a baby is a big strain on a couple.
she has been massaged and swaddled.... and is finally sleeping - thanl you!! any further advice keep it coming :smile:
:lol: was gonna edit my last post... but think it shows the state we have got ourselves into!!
ditto on the swaddling - the tighter the better! As it's a bit cooler now you should be able to swaddle her without her getting all hot and bothered. Glad to hear that she's sleeping now. You mentioned in your first post that you bath her after her evening feed, have you ever tried doing it the other way round - bath her (wear her out a bit) and then feed her to get her to sleep - this worked with us. Also - does she have a dummy? If not, do try her with one, it was our saving grace! Do hope she settles more in future.
Was checking in my NHS baby manual again and it did say lots of babies do this. S finally slept at 10:45. You WILL get your evenings and time together back, I think at the moment it is such early days that we just have to go with the flow and accept that some evenings will be spent playing pass the baby! I think S may have wanted to sleep when I gave her her bath so I may have inadvertenly kept her awake too long and the bath had the opposite effect to the desired one. I remember with DD1 having to resort to driving around to get her to sleep in the car seat - DH and I had some quite good conversations that way too!
These babies just so haven't read the book have they...we WILL get there
I went round my sister's last night. She has a 10 day old and she was doing EXACTLY this which brought back some pleasant memories. I'll never moan about the terrible 2s again! :smile:
I think they're all like that in the beginning. Newborns, by definition, are unsettled and night time is especially bad.
I'll second the driving around. You may be tired but at least you'll get a break.
I have no answers for you im afraid, but justwanted to add that you aren't alone. We have the same problem. Isabelle wont settle between 7pm and 10pm. She suffers quite badly from trapped wind which seems to make her worse. She won't take a dummy which Im sure would make her a lot calmer so I have to result in bf her almost constantly until she drops off. The good news is, it does pass - honest. Ethan was the same and I survived. I now have the opposite problem with him. He is a nightmare to wake up!!
Just another one here who can empathise. Amy is nearly 6 months now but I remember those nights in the early weeks. She started to go to sleep without a fight when she got to around 2 months and has been pretty calm since then really. Claire (now 2.5yrs) was very much the same as a baby but she was diagnosed with extremely bad colic so it went on for ages and was more than just being unsettled in the evenings :rolleyes: .
As for your relationship - it is hard in the beginning but it WILL get better and she will be settling at 7 before you know it. Just go with the 'pass the baby' routine for now, it won't last for long.
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