Three year age gaps?

[Bluebabe75]

Tell me what it's like please! How did your older child react to the arrival of a new one at that age?

We've kind of made a decision about TTC number two, and the minimum age gap will be about 2 years 9 months (and tbh, I'm getting on a bit now so I'm really expecting it to take longer than the 4 months it took to conceive M).

Oh, and most importantly, will I get away without a double-buggy because I REALLY don't want one :lol:

Thanks :flowers:

[silkycat]

There is a 2yr 9 month gap between my two. The elder one was really proud to have a baby brother. He used to help me by fetching nappies and other things for the baby. It also meant that as he was at nursery I got to spend time with both of them instead of trying to juggle both constantly. I could spend time with the elder as the little one slept.

I did have a double buggy for a while because DS1 was lazy, though probably could also have used a buggy board. It was more the fact that I was given a double buggy that I used that instead.

The nearly three year gap was absolutely perfect for me.

[Angel and Boo]

I have exactly a 2y9mo age gap between my two.

TBH Iain was an extremely difficult toddler, so the first 1yo after Angus was born was a lot of hard work.

Iain loves his borther and doted on him, it was his parents that he gave a hard time to :doh:

As for the double buggy...it totally depends on the nature of the children. I used a double buggy until my oldest was almost 4yo. For us it was necessary to be able to contain him in it when he was being naughter when we were out and about. He was also not the type of kid who would walk happily beside the buggy for very long.

Sure the double buggy was inconvenient at times but it beats trying to carry a kicking and screaming 20kg child back to the car while carrying a baby as well :hissyfit:

My second child is very different though, and if we have a third a double buggy would be unnecceary for him.

[Bluebabe75]

Thanks :flowers:

I think I might be over-optimistic in hoping I'd get away without a double buggy tbh - unless there's a massive improvement in M's ability to walk in the direction I want him to before then :lol:

Am just interested in what to expect.... before it's too late to change my mind about it all again!

[RealGoneKid]

There's a smaller gap here and no double buggy :smile:

[alex]

I think you would def get away with not needing a double with a 3 year gap :nod: but you may need to consider a buggy board.

I have a 4 year and 1 month gap between dd1 and dd2 and a 2 year and 3 month gap between dd2 and dd3.

the gaps we have have been good and have worked well for us.

I think M will make a fab big brother :grin: and another little Tiger to add to your brood will be :lurve:

[skylark]

Funny you should post this, my DH is a broody as hell. I never thought a man could get clucky but he is. Anyway, as a result I have been thinking about age gaps etc as I was only ever planning on having one.

I know it sounds like a stange thing to say, but I have never really felt boody and don't particularly like newborns. So it is a big leap for me.

[Princess Lollipop]

I have 2 years 11 months between mine and think it is a great age gap.

O was old enough to know what was going on with J was born and, on the whole, likes being a big brother. It is :lurve: to watch them interact and play with each other.

We didn't have a double buggy or a buggy board. However O is the laziest child in the world so getting him to walk sometimes can be a PITA.

Downsides :scratchchin: Shopping trips can be difficult, O is toilet trained and obviously J isn't so when O pipes up with the inevitable phrase, 'I want a wee wee,' it can be a bit of a logistical nightmare, particularly if I am on my own with them.

Bedtimes and nap-times are a bit like Russian Roulette sometimes. O does take great delight in waking J up :rolleyes: but J does often wake O up far earlier than he would like :lol:

Good luck!!

[Lady M's Mummy]

We are going to start TTC in Dec so there will be a similar age gap between ours (we were going to try sooner but then i landed my mew dream job so will have to wait). I am :pray: that we don't have to get a double buggy...i love my bug too much :lol:

[Flicky]

I have 3yrs 3 months between mine and managed fine with pram plus buggyboard (Bugaboo) and I have the world's most reluctant walker for an older child. On other aspects I don't know - I see people with smaller age gaps and can pros and cons, and also with bigger gaps with different pros and cons but this is the gap we got and it's worked out OK for us - I think whatever gap you have ends up working out for you!

[Bluebabe75]

We are going to start TTC in Dec so there will be a similar age gap between ours (we were going to try sooner but then i landed my mew dream job so will have to wait). I am :pray: that we don't have to get a double buggy...i love my bug too much :lol:

December isn't too long.... we're starting in October I think (shhhhhhhhhh :lol: ) so maybe we can do it all at the same time after all :fingerscrossed:

We went to the park with no buggy today :faint: and it was fine :grin:

[Minky]

There is nearly 3.5 years difference between the Ts and tbh I wouldn't have it any other way. Like Flicky we are/were fine with the Bug and buggy board.

Lulah loves her little sister and is quite independent so if I need to go to Tabitha I can, leaving Lulah to play by herself.

Best age gap imho!

Minky x

[Lady M's Mummy]

December isn't too long.... we're starting in October I think (shhhhhhhhhh :lol: ) so maybe we can do it all at the same time after all :fingerscrossed:

We went to the park with no buggy today :faint: and it was fine :grin:

Good plan batman. Would love to start earlier but not sure it would make the best impression on new employers!:lol:

How far is the park?:shock:

[Bluebabe75]

How far is the park?:shock:

Virtually next door to my sister's flat, but we walked the long way round to the swings and he didn't start shouting 'up up up' until the way home.... about 45 minutes after we went out :faint:

Thanks everyone :flowers: I feel reassured that it will all be ok now....

[VickyS]

I've got two 3 year age gaps (between DS1 and DS2, and DS3&4 and DS5) and they are brilliant! I loved the fact that they are that much more independent. Toilet trained (hopefully!) settled in at playgroup, out of a cot, out of a pushchair so I didn't have to buy new ones etc!

All mine have been fine with walking, I never used a buggy board either. I got them used to walking from a young age so they didn't just get chucked out of the pushchair when they next baby came along, lol!

Good luck with ttc. :smile:

[WoollyNewty]

I have 2yrs 11 months (I always said the bare minimum was 3.5yrs so suprised myself :lol:) and it has been brilliant. When I was pregnant Alex was still having big daytime naps which was a huge help (seriously huge!) and now (he's just over 3.5 yrs) he's much more independant and has REALLY grown up, even since Christmas. When his brother was born he was still in nappies and in a cot :oops: so I had all that to get through (the going into a bed thing was great - he was really excited and happy about it -the toilet training thing was a tad more :zombie: but we sort of got there!) but now he's just like a proper little boy - all vestiges of toddlerdom are gone (which a bit :eek: at times but also great).

He has never been jealous of W and has taken it all really really well (especially considering we didn't have the easiest of rides!). When he was 3 and a bit he did go through a bit of a stage with what I call 'rude talking' (really horrible tone of voice and saying things in a bratty way which I HATE) but he's gone through it now. Now he is VERY lively and boisterous so I have a lot of crowd control :zombie: issues (he basically goes of on wild gleeful sprees and destroys half my house and normally I'm fine but sometimes I lose it a bit and end up yelling before he takes out a wall or something....) but he's really happy and he loves having a 'baby' so much. In fact he wants more and he's alway asking for more babies - he wants 4 more :loco: and he really wants a sister. I had to get him a doll instead (and another guinea pig and 4 Giant African Land Snails :lol:).

I DO have a double buggy but I actually love it (it's an off-road type one that is so easy to push and fits through a normal door) but I need it as I walk miles and miles every day and when Alex is tired he still sleeps in it (in fact he sleeps in it far more than the baby does!). If you don't walk much you could probably do without - you can get them pretty cheap 2nd hand though. However my friends who don't have cars and walk a lot too and didn't go for a double DO regret it - they have a hellish time with buggyboards and/or those 'seat to go' things (they are great for short journey but if you've got to walk 4 miles with a tired grumpy 3 yr old, in the heat, it's not much fun!). Some of them had children that walked really well before the baby came and now just want to sit on the 'seat to go' all the time and throw endless tantrums over it. I think it depends what type of pushchair you have though as to how easy it to push with them on.

It's hard to say how it will be because so much depends on the children - Alex has always been really happy to entertain himself and doesn't really need me to do much (he will play for hours on his own and just needs me if he needs the loo or something) and William has been a very easy baby - very self contained and contended. I think WW3 is about to break out as William starts moving and eating all of Alex's prize possesions but at that point I shall probably move out and live in the shed with a pair of earplugs, a big book and a bottle of gin.... :wink:.

Seriously though - it is a good gap :nod:. Good luck!

[Puffy]

I wil have 3 years 7 months between DS#2 and baby#4 so I read this with interest. I have 6 years between my first two and 15 months bewteen my 2nd too so this is all new!!
WIth #2 it was like starting all over again as DD was in school and independant etc, and with 2 and 3 it was like having twins!! 2 in nappies, 2 having naps, 2 in a double buggy...........
This time it will be diffenernt again as Bean will be in Nursery in mornings and therefore have his own "thing" IYSWIM so wont get jealous HOWEVER it could go the other way and he could feel really pushed out as he will start nursery literally the time the babies due. I have made sure he has just started 2 mornings in an independant nursery this term to get him used to it and Im hoping it will be ok, as I also have a 4years and 10 months gap and a 10years and 10 months gap to factor in :teehee:

[WoollyNewty]

PP - I know they are all different but Alex started pre-school (his first time away from me) 3 weeks to the day after W was born and I was totally :brainache: about it. Alex was REALLY unsettled by the leaving me thing BUT the never once saw it as being pushed out or got jealous or upset about W. He just kept telling me that he wanted to come shopping with me instead :lol: (the teachers told him that mummy was just doing 'boring shopping' while he was there - but he loves shopping :lol:). He's settled in really well now and totally loves it - and you are right, it does give them their own thing and they feel really 'grown up' about it all.

[Puffy]

Oooh thanks Woollly!! hes really into it as it will be in the pre school at school where M will be in Reception and S in year 5 and also where we have been dropping off M for the last year, and one of my mindees for the year before that so Beans been visiting the preschool for 2 years and is EXPLODING at the thought of actually going himself and sitting on the carpet and playing with the legendary Mrs W the nursery teacher!!!

[Sparkly]

We have a 3yr gap (minus 10 days :wink: ) & I've found it really good so far. Though like WN mentioned, I do expect a lot of change once R is on the move!! DD was a bit put out about his arrival at first and did play up, silly naughty behaviour and being v loud to get attention (the latter unfortunately stuck!). But she totally adores him now - and he her. She's also quite independent and plays well on her own most of the time. It does help that she dresses/undresses herself, can go to the loo by herself, etc - & is FAB at helping me - fetching things for bubba, picking up his toys every time he chucks them on the floor etc :teehee: Also, if I'm doing bedtime on my own, she's happy to get into her pjs and read a story in her bed til I finish R's bottle, then go into do her story and cuddles. She just gets it & seems to find it quite a privilege to be allowed these little bits of independence. (I tried to 'train' her to wait for me/things while pg, whereas she'd always got my attention pretty promptly in the past).

I have a double buggy & buggy board in the garage and haven't used them once. :shrug: We were just saying y'day we'd never have believed this to be possible as she was always such an escape artist, but I tried to get her used to walking with me while pg & she is really good at it now. (Painful learning curve but worth the effort!)

[miss moneypenny]

There's 2 years 9 months between my two and I got away without a double buggy (but then became a childminder and had to buy one anyway :lol:). P had some understanding about the baby in mummy's tummy though was a bit confused to start with as I still looked pregnant but had a baby :teehee:

She's great at fetching and carrying and loves to be Mummy's Little Helper. She never had a buggy board either - she's walked everywhere since she was about 2.5.

Jealousy has been limited - she did play up for a bit when A was first born but quickly grew out of it. I think she's a fab big sister actually and *touch wood* we've not had too many incidents of her being mean towards A or being a green eyed monster.

From my perspective it's not the age gap I wanted (I wanted a smaller one :loco: but it's worked out to be perfect.