Bit gutted

[DKNI]

at the moment and I know it will sound horrible but that man who is causing me all the hassle at the moment (can't quite bring myself to say ex just yet) has flippin just got a huge promotion at work and a 20% pay increase.

He will now be on about 55k sterling per year.

That would have made a world of a difference to us and our lives and we would have had the extra cash so we didn't have as many stresses and could have had a better quality of life.

Now he just thinks I am going to try and take all his money in the divorce. i only want what is fair I am not going to take him to the cleaners.:hissyfit: :hissyfit:

PS I know the money would have not solved our problems but it may have made things different in our lives and we could have been doing more things etc. But well shucks it doesn't matter now anyway

[MsNat]

:hugs: I don't think it would have made a difference Andie, money doesn't change attitudes. He'd just have been working harder and expecting you to do more at home.

[Minky]

I can really relate to that Andie. Just after my ex and I split up he went on a 1 month holiday to the States. :sigh: :rolleyes:. I swear he was hiding money too (he was an accountant and tighter than a fish's fandango).

Just think - he'll be able to pay you more maintenance now! :clap: :laff:

Minky xxxx

[MsNat]

Just think - he'll be able to pay you more maintenance now! :clap: :laff:


:nod: And that means that you might not have to rush into finding a job

[Damsella]

I am not going to take him to the cleaners. Why on earth not? You worked at home while he worked in the office. You helped him get that pay rise by looking after the home.

Come on Andie, he's walked out on you when you have two children, one of whom is only 2 months old and who had a traumatic birth. He is a SHIT and you deserve everything you can get from him.

[sunshine]

Sorry Andie but I agree with Damz on this one.

I just cant understand how he can leave you when you have such a small baby :no: and I think that because you have been so dignified you have perhaps made it a bit easier for him to behave in such a disgraceful manner (this isnt a criticism of you in any way but I think he is taking advantage big time).

Just because he fancies a change in lifestyle doesnt mean he can just forget about his rights and responsibilities. And if he is earning good money now then why shouldnt his sons benefit from that?

Please dont play the martyr and give up too easily when it comes to sorting out the finances. He bloody well should be scared of you "taking him to the cleaners" because that is what you are entitled to and he should have thought about that before he got married.:nod:

Sorry I shall get off my soapbox now but I am just so appalled by the way he has treated you.

Love Sunshine

[lewpylew]

You deserve everything you get. A mother's work is worth more than a ton weight in gold!

Don't feel bad about him paying his way. He wanted the children too and must pay for them to be raised xx

[Cupcake's Mum]

:hugs:

[Littlejojo]

i agree with the others you deserve it. You will be bringing up his children, does he expect to live in a sty or something. grrrrrrrr .


I was going to PM to see how you are.

[Miss Frosty]

Totally agree with the others, you deserve it, with two small boys to look after.

Keep your chin up :flowers:

MF

[Devil Girl]

I agree with the others.

I hope you get what you deserve :fingerscrossed:

[gillyf]

i'm with the Damz on this. You have 2 little ones to look after. the time for worrying about how he feels re maintenance has gone. you need money to look after the boys and he has it. the fact he earns more will be great for you both. you get more money and he'll have more left over after maintenance.

[Amethyst]

:grouphug: .

Amethyst x

[Bananatree]

You should get what you deserve.
Being a single parent myself, you need all the help you can get.

He left you with two young children to look after - take what you can .

Take care - you are so strong. :flowers:

[DKNI]

I am not letting him get away with everything I am just not out to ruin him completely. But I want what is rightfully mine and I want the kids to be looked after properly.

I think my biggest problem is that my parents divorced when i was a kid and we used to wait for the cheque to come in and we were made to feel like we should be grateful for him giving us money.

My father practically made me say thank you for every cheque he sent and it was uncomfortable for me as a child. plus a thank you was never enough I had to say 'ï love you' even tho I didn't mean it.

At the moment all this is opening old wounds again.

but I am going to take the time in Belfast to sort out my head, get rid of the fear and panic and be practical and do the things that i need to do to make a life for me and the kids.

I know it sounds a bit like he can do whatever he wants at the moment and to be honest it is a little as I have no energy or fight left. My head says its over deal with it and sort your life out but that annoying wee heart keeps saying 'but I love him'. I am hoping I can beat that voice to death when i am away from here and then I can start doing what I need to do.

[Moose]

I think you are being very strong and brave throughout this Andie. Reading through your posts it seems to be that you have been treated appallingly. It's heartbreaking to think he can just walk away from his children like that.

You and the children are entitled to as much as you can possibly get. As a single mum myself, things can be very hard at times. My ex pays over what he would have to via the Child Support Agency (didn't want to go down that route), but I don't feel guilty - they are his children as well and it's expensive to bring them up these days as well as keeping a roof over their heads.

Good luck with everything Andie, I hope your time in Belfast gives you the time and space you need to get your head around things.

Moose x