Answers on a postcard please.. re nighttime feeding

[Nat]

Following on from the "do they EVER sleep through" thread, this is a similar issue, but mainly regarding what I should be doing.

Lulah has a feed at 18.00 / 18.30 usually, then goes to bed. She is pretty good, sometimes it takes a while to settle her, but never more than say 45 mins. She then sleeps through until I wake her at 22.30 / 23.00 for a feed.

But waking her is very hard, she is in a very deep sleep, I cant attempt to feed her whilst asleep (have done so several times and failed) So I switch light on , take sheets off etc, but it still takes a good half hour for her to be awake enough to feed. She then only takes half her feed, no amount of cajouling etc will make her eat anymore. She goes straight back to sleep, but then wakes anywhere between 0300 / 0400 for a feed. Now I know, that for a 10 week old baby, thats not so bad. And I am lucky that she settles so well in the night. BUT my question is, should i just not bother with the late evening bottle ? Its frustrating for me staying up that late when I am tired, even more so that she doesnt drink more than half a feed.

I turned the light on full blast in her room at 2200 tonight - its now half past, and she's still sleeping like a log... Its just frustrating, I KNOW if she took her whole feed at 2300 then she WOULD more than likely sleep through, but i cant get her to do it... Dont get me wrong, I know I have to go at her pace, and she'll sleep through when shes good and ready, so I cant really force the issue - but any suggestions or opinions would be great, Guess AFTER WAFFLING SO MUCH - Im just after some reassurance that Im doing the right things...

Was there any point to this post ? I am not so sure now ! But sharing your experiences would be great.

[*kate*]

Don't bother with the dream feed. If she won't have it and you'd rather be asleep, why bother?

Josephine is like this, eats at 6pm, goes to bed, sleeps soundly, wakes snuffling at 2am and finally wakes properly to be fed at 4am.

I tried dreamfeeding and she still woke at 4am, so there was then 2 feed to do. She was also more unsettled during the night, and I've realised she's best left alone to do her own thing (she's this kind of baby in all areas, really)

TBH I'm thinking that she'll drop the 4am one when she's ready, by that time I've had a reasonable 5/6 hours sleep so I'm not too tired so it's not bothering me too much.

I'm trying to put it in perspective by thinking that by a year she'll be sleeping through, so I'm almost a third of the way through......:smile:

Not very helpful I'm afraid.

[Nat]

No, it was helpful, thanks for sharing :smile:
I have thought about dropping the late evening feed, but I figured if there was some magic way to make her take it all, rather than half, then someone on here might know ! :lol:

[shamu]

V quick post as I'm off to bed in a mo...
Personally, waking her sounds like WAY too much hassle at the mo. We had to wake Bea for ALL her feeds in the first 12 days and it broke my heart as it was SOOO difficult and ended up with a frustrated baby and an exhausted, miserable mummy.... If she's that hard to wake and that difficult to actually feed then I wouldn't bother.
I have to say, I've started giving Bea half a bottle as a dreamfeed when I go to bed as she's not been taking nearly enough (hot weather etc). I have to persevere a bit to get her to open her mouth (takes about 5 mins) but once I do she really goes for it. Could you try dreamfeeding her again? I plan to stop the dreamfeed once she's reliably sleeping through as I kept it up with James for far too long....
Try without the late feed and see what happens... You might be pleasantly surprised but if not, you can always reinstate it the next night
Shamu
:wink:

ETA: what I mean by dreamfeeding is doing it whilst she's zonked, in the dark etc

[Nat]

Thanks Shamu. Lights still on in her room.. she's still zonked. Going to take her into our room (she sleeps there after her late night feed) and try a dreamfeed in the dark.

[bisy backson]

i agree, leave her tbh.

we never woke splash for a feed and he was sleeping through from around 6 months (probably more to do with that was when we moved him into his own room)

i have always believed in letting the baby find their own rhythm as far as sleeping goes, i don't think you should ever wake a baby, or try to keep them awake (can you imagine if someone did that to you? you'd smack 'em! :lol: think about how grouchy you'd be) but i know lots of people would disagree so its up to you.

it does sound like she's really reluctant to wake and the amount she's taking isnt really worth it, especially if she's going to wake again anyway.

good luck

bbxx

[Nat]

BB thanks!

Just want to explain, I too feel its wrong to wake her. I never do it (or keep her awake) any other time.

The reason this has come about is up until 2 weeks ago, I was letting her wake herself - which happened to be around midnight. As I wanted to spend time with DH, I was staying up until 10.30 / 11pm with him, but then thinking " oh whats the point in going to bed for an hour?" so was staying awake to feed lulah, and finlly getting to bed about 1am. This was taking its toll, so after chatting to a couple of people about what they do, it seemed that alot of people do feed there bubs at 11pm.. so I thought I would give it a try... Obviously this was selfish on my part, as I just wanted to get to bed a bit earlier :oops: I suppose the moral of the story is you cant have it all !

If I want to spend time with DH, then I have to put up with being tired, and if I want to sleep, I have to forsake time with DH andf go to bed earlier !

AS IT HAPPENS, she took a whole feed at 11pm last night (not the usual half) and STILL woke at 3.30am, so it makes no odds. Tonight I am going to miss the last feed and see what happens. Thanks girls. xx

[bisy backson]

yeah i completely understand what you are saying nat - i think the thing is though, she's only 2 months old, and the first probably 6 months or so it tends to be more about them than you unfortunately! (damn babies! :lol: )

unfortunately i found something had to give and went to bed early rather than spend time with dh, but that's just me! it does get loads better though, its really really early days still for you (sorry, don't mean to be patronising! - think i know i've got it all coming up again so trying to rationalise it to myself as well....) and a few months of getting early nights so you don't totally exhaust yourself wouldn't be such a bad thing - you have the rest of your life to spend time with DH after all! and it will be a lot better once she stops waking at night. i know it seems like its going to be forever at the moment but really, it won't be!

let us know how you get on tonight

bbxx

[bisy backson]

yeah i completely understand what you are saying nat - i think the thing is though, she's only 2 months old, and the first probably 6 months or so it tends to be more about them than you unfortunately! (damn babies! :lol: )

unfortunately i found something had to give and went to bed early rather than spend time with dh, but that's just me! it does get loads better though, its really really early days still for you (sorry, don't mean to be patronising! - think i know i've got it all coming up again so trying to rationalise it to myself as well....) and a few months of getting early nights so you don't totally exhaust yourself wouldn't be such a bad thing - you have the rest of your life to spend time with DH after all! and it will be a lot better once she stops waking at night. i know it seems like its going to be forever at the moment but really, it won't be!

let us know how you get on tonight

bbxx

[Nat]

BB, Thanks, I know my last post sounded really stupid. I KNOW I should go to bed earlier, and I KNOW her needs come before mine, just sometimes I dont like to admit it :wink: And no, You dont sound patronising , you;ve been really helpful honey. I am going to leave her tonight to sleep through, and see how that goes. If she wakes at stupid o clock, and again at 4/5, then I might try a dreamfeed on Friday night.. Will keep you posted! Thanks again honey !!

[Nat]

Lulah fed at 18.00 last night, but then didnt settle well, so didnt get to sleep until about 21.00 but I didnt bother with the evening feed, I went to bed at 22.00 and she woke at 01.00 for a feed. She had that, went straight back to sleep, and woke again at 06.00... Might do it again tonight..

I know this is TOTALLY selfish, but I kinda prefer her having a 2300 feed and sleeping until 0400! rather than having my sleep broken twice.. ho hum, I guess there's just no pleasing me is there LOL !!!! I might try the dreamfeed tomorrow night, and see how that goes..